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From The Home Office

Dreams of a Fictitious Childhood

Published on February 18, 2004

Last night I dreamed I was at Richard's mother's house watching old videotapes from when I was a little girl. The videotape I was watching was of when I was a little girl at summer camp. In the video, I was on a boat, going down a river, videotaping the boys' side of the camp (ah, ask my mother about the stress I caused her in those years!). In one scene in the video, I zoomed in on one boy who was sleeping peacefully in his bunk. And, that little boy was Richard! I was shocked and jumped up (in my dream), yelling for Richard to come into his mom's living room so I could show him that we had actually attended summer camp at the same time when we were quite young. …

Sticky Purple Slushy Goop…

Published on February 11, 2004

What started as a few dropped green beans at dinnertime has grown to a problem of monstrously messy proportions. Yesterday, Max stood right in front of me and turned his fruit punch upside down. His eyes widened with glee and mine widened with horror as we both watched 12 ounces of red punch splatter onto our baby blue carpet. …

Looking UP at Your Younger Sister

Published on February 4, 2004

I realized last night that I no longer have to crawl up on the counter to put the serving dishes away! Now, I can call Ali to put them up there for me! She's the tallest one in the family, even taller than her older brother, Zach. And, he is NOT happy about that, let me tell you! …

Cough, Hack, Wheez…

Published on January 28, 2004

We're having one of those weeks. Max has been very ill. Frank has started coughing again (he's been sick for a couple of weeks now), and I'm coming down with my third bug since Christmas. This morning it was 9 below zero, his morning it was 9 below zero. Frank missed the bus, Percy (the dog) threw up on the carpet, and then van wouldn't start... …

Frozen Nose Hairs

Published on January 21, 2004

Well, during basketball practice last week, Ali somehow managed to dislocate her basketball coach's finger. However, he was much kinder than my old gymnastics coach, and even "set" his finger behind his back so as not to further upset Ali. Apparently it's something that happens to him a lot, but Ali was still quite distraught. …

In Memory of Bob

Published on January 14, 2004

Several months ago, I was approached by Bob Freiday, a highly successful freelance journalist, about a book idea. I liked his idea and, in record time, his book was complete and we published it as a trade paperback and as an ebook. Bob admitted during our myriad of emails that he was often under the weather, suffering from "Cat Scratch Fever." The emails we exchanged after that included humorous recipes that he could test on his mother's cat (the one that scratched him). Bob got really ill in October and I received a cryptic email from him one day, asking me to send... …

Not As Clean As You Thought…

Published on January 7, 2004

We spent New Year's Eve eating cheese and crackers and playing charades with friends...which means we must be getting old. I've always hated New Year's Eve. Being married to an alcoholic (my ex) for 12 1/2 years will do that to you. We left by 9:30, picked up one of Frank's friends, and went in search of a burger. For some odd reason, every burger and fast food joint in town was closed. So, we had a late night, quickie dinner at Olive Garden and drove home to watch movies and eat popcorn. It was, by far, the best New Year's Eve ever! When we flipped the channel to watch the ball drop in New York City, I wasn't dreaming about what I'll be doing next year. I was reflecting on how much better life is for the children and me since marrying Richard more than four years ago. We are truly blessed! Last night, Zach had a friend over for dinner. I'd cooked up a fun kabob dish and we were all having a nice time eating and chatting about the children's Christmas vacation. Out of the blue, Max put his fork down and said, quite loudly... …

Aaaah! What a Relief!

Published on December 30, 2003

Aaaah! What a relief! I love the holidays, but I sure am happy when they're finally over. No more shopping, no more wrapping, no more rushing, hustle and bustle. Aaaah, now we can just relax. We did have one unfortunately incident this week. Ali turned 13... …

Stuck In The Subway Turnstile

Published on December 23, 2003

Our mini-holiday vacation by train to Boston was super! We ate gobs of good food, froze our rear ends off while walking everywhere, and collapsed in a fit of giggles when Ali got her suitcase handle stuck in the subway turnstile... …

Meteor and Snow Showers!

Published on December 17, 2003

Well, we had quite a magical, celestial evening on Friday night! On the way home from dinner, with a wind chill below zero outside and Christmas music piping through the speakers in the van inside, Frank suddenly yelled from the backseat, "I just saw a white light shoot through the sky!" We all got excited and started looking out all the windows, but we didn't see anything else...yet. A few minutes later, Richard and I were sitting in the front and, out of space (literally), a green ball of light shot out of the sky and appeared to travel... …

The 8 Worst Gifts You Can Buy for Children (and 8 alternatives!)

Published on December 10, 2003

Last weekend, while buying Frank a pair of shoes, I overheard an elderly couple shopping for a gift for their grandson. They were going to buy him snow boots for Christmas. I immediately thought, "How will they know the right size?" Geez, I can't even get shoe sizes right when my children are right there with me and I have to seek professional help (the store clerk). How was this couple going to get the size right on a child who, obviously, lived in another town? Each year, relatives write asking us what the children want for Christmas. I'm happy to give them hints on what the children would like, but also ask them to avoid certain popular toys and other items we've had personal experience with. I'm sure many of you parents know exactly what I'm talking about. So, today I'm sharing my list of the worst presents to buy for children, along with alternatives that will make them very happy... …

Buying Gifts for People Who Have Everything…

Published on December 3, 2003

I got really depressed over the weekend when I opened up my Christmas gift list from last year, and realized that most of the gifts we bought for the children and our relatives are no longer in use. Frank's gigantic lego plane? Gone (Percy chewed up most of the small pieces). Ali's "I HAVE to have it!" sweater with the fake-fur collar? Gone. (The washing machine ate all the fur within 24 hours). Zach's video game system? Obsolete. (They only make games for the higher edition now.) …

When Naughty Children Peek at Their Presents!

Published on November 25, 2003

Well, I did it. I installed a heavy-duty combination lock on our bedroom closet door. You see, Frank (age 11) peeks at his presents every year, and always has. And, it doesn't appear to bother him each Christmas morning when there are no surprises left. His …

Max-Speak

Published on November 19, 2003

Max (age 26 months) has an ever-expanding vocabulary. To preserve his hilarious "Max Speak", I write Max…

Cold Wind A Whistling

Published on November 12, 2003

I woke up on Saturday morning to Max (26-months-old) forcibly opening my left eyelid and whispering, "Way up, Mom! Way up, Mom!" I opened my eyes and smiled and he said, "Wissen!" So, I cocked my ear up and opened my eyes wide, rolling them around to make him laugh while trying to make out the sound he was listening to (he just learned the word "noise"). A cold front had blown through overnight and I realized a cold wind was whistling around the windows. I opened my mouth wide and said, "Oooh!" And Max replied, "I hear noise! I hear wind! I like wind!" I scooped him into my arms and said, "I like wind, too!" …

Witness to the Aurora borealis

Published on November 5, 2003

Well, we had an interesting week, to say the least. For the first time ever, we were blessed to be witness to the Aurora borealis! It was one of the most spectacular, beautiful and majestic phenomena we've ever seen! I've seen pictures of it my entire life, and knew, while growing up, that I'd never see it in Texas. But, after moving to Maine, I somehow assumed I'd see it each year. That wasn't to be as we've been here for three years and haven’t been blessed with this event before now. But, after that large solar storm last week, my neighbor, Rita, called and excitedly said, "I'm outside and you're missin' it!" …

The 10 Most Horrific Things about Ali and Frank’s Halloween Party

Published on October 29, 2003

The 10 Most Horrific Things about Ali and Frank’s Halloween Party

10. 35 kids in a living room that only seats 6...…

Max is Potty Trained

Published on October 22, 2003

Well, after only a few weeks of frequent reminders (Need to potty, Max?! Huh? Huh??) and heaps of praise ("Yea! Big boy Max went potty! Let's do the potty dance! Yippee! Yahoo!!), Max (age 25 months) is potty trained! He never has accidents on the floor and is very proud of himself each time he "makes potty." So proud, in fact, that when he does "make potty", he goes through the entire house, clapping his hands, and telling everyone present (family, friends, and even the UPS guy), "I made potty! I made potty!! Do potty dance!! Do potty dance!!" And, of course, we all dance! I have to say that Max was, by far, the easiest of all the children to potty train. Shwew! And we're already counting how much money we're going to save on diapers! The amount will be significant! Max even insists on removing the little potty bowl himself and dumping it into the Big Boy Toilet (yes, he washes his hands). Yesterday, he made a big boy poopie in his potty and, much to Zach's horror, carried it into Zach's room to show Zach and his teenage friends his "Big Boy Poopie." Do you know what a toilet tattoo is? It's what Max gets when he sits on his little potty for an hour while watching cartoons. He sure loves his potty! Hugs to everybody! Ang …

The Grandmas

Published on October 15, 2003

The in-laws are gone and life seems to be getting back to normal. My mommy-in-law completely redecorated the downstairs bathroom while she was here, including painting the walls. It looks really, really nice! Max had two grandmas here, so he kept calling them "The Grandmas." For the first time in a quarter century, Zach's high school golf team (Bangor High) won first place in the state tournament on Saturday! Zach was very proud of the medal he won (he was one of five players to represent the team) and Bangor High School will have a new trophy for the trophy case. Max has finally figured out how to say Frank's name. He calls him "Mank." It's really cute! Frank's Columbus Day play was last week and he made a fine, handsome sailor and remembered all his lines! (Funny...none of our children have stage fright.) During the performance, when Frank walked on-stage, Max waved his chubby arms and yelled, "Hi Mank!" Frank smiled, broke character, and waved back at Max. Max was happy. I met with all of Ali's teachers last week for parent/teacher day and her language arts teacher says she's "...quite the writer!" I hear that every year and it always makes my chest swell with pride. The leaves seem to be at their peak right now here in Bangor and, even after four years, the brightness and depth of the colors still take my breath away. So, on Monday, we went leaf-watching. A cold front had blown through on Sunday night, so the stiff, cold winds make it a perfect day to bundle up and enjoy God's art show. Hugs to everybody! Ang …

Bailey Meets Mr. Stinkie

Published on October 8, 2003

Well, Autumn is certainly persistent! She and her dog, Bailey, have been staying with us for…

Blonde Pussy Cat

Published on October 1, 2003

Some of you may remember last Christmas when I was searching for the Betsy Wetsy doll…

Fall Foliage Peaking

Published on September 24, 2003

The fall foliage is going to peak in the next couple of weeks here in Bangor…

Fall is Gone

Published on September 17, 2003

Well, it’s official. Fall is gone and summer has returned. It’s been in the upper 80’s…

I’ve Been Telling Him He’s My Baby

Published on September 10, 2003

We had a birthday party for Max on Monday, despite the fact that Frank’s friend, Mitchell,…

Big Feet

Published on September 3, 2003

Ah, school shopping. It's expensive and exhausting...but I've never really thought of it as humorous, until last week. Ali and I spent several hours at the mall together one evening. Because she attends private school, she's not allowed to wear any clothes that have brand names appearing on them (except shoes) and her clothes must be in neutral, earth-tone colors. Also, her collars must be at her collarbone and any skirts must be no shorter than her knees. You can see that finding clothes that meet all these criteria can take quite awhile. Frankly, I wish they'd just assign uniforms! …

Fall is on the Way

Published on August 27, 2003

Well, I have good news for our old friends in Texas who have been suffering through 100+ degree temperatures most of the summer. Fall is on the way! On Friday night, the first true cold front of the season blew through Bangor, Maine, infusing us all with that crisp, refreshing Fall feeling...you know the one I'm talking about. When we woke up to 43-degree weather, Ali, Frank and I immediately rushed out to the craft store to pick up materials for three new comfy, cozy quilts. This year, Zach, Frank and Max are getting new quilts for their beds. Ali and I should have them finished by the end of September. There's nothing better than quilting by hand and watching old movies on chilly, windy autumn days! …

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Trivia Question!

WritersWeekly Trivia Question for 06/24/2022

June 24, 2022 7:02 pm

Per last week’s issue of WritersWeekly, when Angela found the unique carrot, what did she suggest to the pastor? ***Please answer the trivia question using our contact form HERE. Do not post your answer in the comments section below.  You must be a WritersWeekly.com subscriber to participate in the weekly contests. Subscribe today. It’s free! NOTE: ONLY ONE WINNER PER HOUSEHOLD PER CALENDAR QUARTER, PLEASE. THIS WEEK’S PRIZE: A free print or ebook of your choice from Booklocker.com!           Read more →

 

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How Many Copies Of Your Book Would You Have To Sell In Order To Break Even?




POD Secrets Revealed!

SELF-PUBLISHING IN 2021? – How Many Book Sales Needed to Recoup Your Investment?

UPDATED: 03/04/2021 EDITOR’S NOTE: Please also see the Self-Publishing Price Comparison HERE. Considering self-publishing? Are you wondering how many books you will need to sell to recoup your investment? LISTED IN ORDER …
Read More

POD SECRETS REVEALED: Book Contests for a Publisher’s Authors? Pppfffttt!!! By Angela Hoy

Playing on an author’s vanity is one of the most common marketing ploys used in the publishing services industry. From promises of wealth and fame to ridiculous “your book can …
Read More

POD SECRETS REVEALED: “Free Publishing Guides” Are Used To Harvest Your Email Address, Phone Number, And More!

When I see the words “free publishing guide,” I think somebody is going to send me a free ebook that is an actual, factual, non-biased guide about the publishing industry, …
Read More

RIDICULOUS RED TAPE!! When POD Publishers Charge WAY Too Much to Make Changes, and Take WAY Too Long to Make Them! by Angela Hoy

We often hear from authors who are upset with their current POD Publisher. One in particular is currently moving his AuthorHouse book to BookLocker, which is never a surprise. We …
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POD SECRETS REVEALED! – “100% Royalties?!” Don’t Be Fooled! By Angela Hoy

What are royalties? According to the I.R.S.: “Royalties from copyrights on literary, musical, or artistic works, and similar property, or from patents on inventions, are amounts paid to you for …
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P.O.D. SECRETS REVEALED: “Free” P.O.D. Services Can Be Very Expensive!

PRICES WERE UPDATED IN THIS ARTICLE ON 7/13/17 NOTE: BookLocker.com offers a D.I.Y. option that costs $78. That includes the cost of the print proof (the first printed, bound copy …
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P.O.D. SECRETS REVEALED: Ridiculous Contract Clauses!

This week, we’re going to show you why reading contracts is imperative when considering a P.O.D. publisher. Did you know… 1. AUTHORHOUSE OWNS YOUR PRODUCTION FILES…AND SO DOES ALMOST EVERYBODY …
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Paying Markets For Writers, Photographers, and Artists

NEED WRITERS, BLOGGERS, EDITORS, AUTHORS, OR OTHER CREATIVE FOLKS?? We’ll post your ad on WritersWeekly FOR FREE. Please complete THIS FORM.

  • Guess the Weight of Mason’s Tater Harvest, and Win a Free Book Publishing Package from BookLocker!

    June 23, 2022 5:30 pm

    By: By Angela Hoy - Publisher of WritersWeekly.com

    17 responses

    Please read the post and the rules, and view the pictures, before submitting your guess! :) Read more →

    RULES:

    • Only one guess per household.
    • Deadline to guess is midnight on Sunday, 06/26/22.
    • You must submit your guess using the form at the bottom of THIS PAGE.
    THE FINE PRINT: The winner’s guess must be closest to the actual weight of the harvest, which will be announced next week. In the event of a tie, the person who submitted the correct answer first will be the winner. The prize is the “At Your Service” publishing package at BookLocker valued at $975.00. Only black and white interior books qualify for that particular package. The winner’s book manuscript must be ready for review and formatting within three months of notification by WritersWeekly that he or she has won. IF YOU DO NOT HAVE A MANUSCRIPT READY, OR ALMOST READY, PLEASE DO NOT ENTER THIS CONTEST. GIVE OTHERS WHO DO HAVE MANUSCRIPTS THE OPPORTUNITY TO WIN THIS PRIZE. The manuscript must first be approved for publication by BookLocker. (BookLocker.com will not publish books with bad writing or poor editing, nor ones that violate laws, contain libel or invasion of privacy, or that teach people how to perform illegal acts.) If BookLocker can’t publish the winner’s book for any of these reasons, his or her prize will instead be a free print book of his or her choice from BookLocker.com. 

    Early in the Spring, Mason planted a bed of potatoes in our church’s community garden. The crops harvested there are donated to two food banks, and to a local senior center.

    This is Mason planting the seed potatoes early in the Spring.

    And, this is Mason next to his bed the morning of the harvest.

    As you can see, he has QUITE the green thumb!! His potato bed in our home garden is huge, too! 🙂

    We woke up at 5:30 on Tuesday morning, packed up our supplies and the dogs, and arrived at the church just before 7:00. We are VERY keen on harvesting the 4′ x 8′ bed as quickly as possible that morning – before the heat of the day set in.

    We first cut off the tops of the tater plants:

    We then all pulled up our lawn chairs, and started digging through the soil. It was a HOOT! Like a really dirty Easter egg hunt. 😉

    We would then pull up each plant, which would reveal even more taters.

    At the end, we gently used a shoved and a potato hoe to get any we’d missed.

    As a hint of the poundage, here are pictures of the harvest.

    We left them to cure in the church kitchen for 2 1/2 days and we went back there this afternoon to box them up. The food banks and senior center are picking those up tomorrow. There are 25 beds in the community garden and we have bags and boxes of goodies for pick-up every Friday. In the fridge right now are okra, beets, a HUGE bag of zucchini (one of them is over a foot long!), and 9 lbs. of carrots. And, sitting in a box next to the potatoes is a box with dozens and dozens of cherry tomatoes in it.

    And, next Thursday, we’ll go back, harvest what’s ready then, wash, weigh, store, etc. It has been such a fun project and we love being a part of it!!

    Today, we reseeded the collard and potato beds with more okra and with bush beans. The youth group will be taking care of those two beds and I know the kids will have a LOT of fun with that. 🙂

    RELATED

    • That’s One Titillating Carrot!
    • Why Can’t I Grow Onions from Seed?!
    • The Giant Pumpkin Seeds Have ARRIVED!!!
    • EXCITEMENT OR DREAD? Our First Beehive!
    • Our First Corn Field!
    • Teensy Tiny Baby Praying Mantises!

    Angela Hoy lives on a mountain in North Georgia. She is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, the President and CEO of BookLocker.com and AbuzzPress, and the author of 24 books.

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    Angela is the creator of the Original 24-Hour Short Story Contest!
    https://24hourshortstorycontest.com/



    How Many Copies Of Your Book Would You Have To Sell In Order To Break Even?










    The Best of Boyd's Blogs: 87 Solutions to a Life of Better Speaking and Listening






    Ever wish you could have your favorite blog in book form? There's nothing like flipping through the pages and reading helpful snippets here and there.

    In this book, Steve Boyd gives you that very opportunity. He has intrigued his readers and clients for years with his insightful newsletters and blog posts. This book includes some of his most interesting stories and communication tips, from listening to speaking. As he quotes this Chinese proverb, "From listening comes wisdom and from speaking repentance."

    You won't need to repent from your next speech if you use these articles to guide both your preparation and delivery. As an avid reader of his blog said, "These articles are priceless! People need what you have to say."





    Steve Boyd's articles on motivation and communication-related topics have appeared
    in various publications. His books on public speaking have sold over 30,000 copies.
    He is a popular after-dinner speaker and conducts workshops for businesses and associations
    whose members want to speak and listen effectively to improve personally and professionally.




    Read more here:


    https://booklocker.com/books/7171.html

     

     

    Categories: From The Home Office

    Tags: Contests!

How Many Copies Of Your Book Would You Have To Sell In Order To Break Even?




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