Howdy Y’all.

It’s Brian here, filling in for Angela. She’s in Texas right now visiting an ailing relative. So, since she’s busy, I’m handling this week’s Home Office.

Tank has decided it’s “Take your dog to work” day. Here’s what it’s like for me trying to work at the Home Office:

Yes, the laptop is on my lap, and so is Tank. (Sigh)

As most of you may well know, Angela and I aren’t Spring chickens anymore. I wouldn’t necessarily call us old. Let’s just say we don’t jump out of bed and go from zero to sixty at the start of the day in anything less than a good hour or two. And we both have those little “what the heck did I get up and walk into this room for??” episodes. If you’re over 45, you probably know exactly what I’m talking about.

This week offered us two examples of what I’d have to call, “Oh my God, I think I’m losing my mind” examples. Now, both of these are on Angela. But I’m not innocent of such behavior. Maybe some day Angela will share some of my “senior” moments.

Anyway, back on Monday, we had to drive into Chattanooga for an appointment.

When we were done, we decided to go to a restaurant that Angela really likes. Our Jeep has the CarPlay app that allows you to plug your phone into the radio, and view your phone apps on a digital screen on the dashboard. So, I pulled up the restaurant on Google Maps, and plugged my phone in so that we could both view the GPS guidance on that dashboard screen.

Perhaps that was my first mistake. The second turn that the GPS told us to make was a left at a traffic light. I was watching the screen, and telling Angela to make the left turn. Unfortunately, Angela was looking at the screen as well. As the driver, had Angela been watching the surrounding environment instead of the GPS screen, she may have seen the ONE WAY sign.

As she’s making the turn, she says, “I think this might be a one-way street.” I looked up quickly to see not just the sign, but also a line of cars in both lanes all facing … us.

I quickly directed Angela to swerve right, into a curbside parking space, just outside of the intersection.

So, there we were. Too much traffic behind us to pull back onto the street we’d just turned off of. Two lanes full of cars waiting for the light on the street we were now on, facing the wrong direction. We had to sit and wait for the light to change, with the drivers of the first three cars in each lane staring at us with that look. Three minutes of utter shame. One woman was actually pointing at Angela and laughing.

After a short eternity, the light changed, and Angela was eventually able to make a 3-point turn to get us facing the right way.

Episode number two came yesterday morning. We had to get Angela, Max, and Mason to the airport for their flight to Texas. Like everyone else in the world, we’ve allowed our cell phones to replace alarm clocks. Angela’s phone went off at 7am, just before sunrise.

Now, Angela usually likes to sleep past sunrise. Since our bedroom faces east, once the sun rises above Lookout Mountain, we get flooded with bright beams of light that somehow find their way through the tiny gaps between our blackout curtains. To avoid being awakened too early, Angela sleeps with one of those nice, cushy padded blindfolds.

So, I’m startled awake by Angela’s phone alarm going off. In the dark, I see the screen moving around as Angela is saying, “Oh great. Now my phone is broken. The screen isn’t coming on. Well, I don’t have time to figure it our today. I’ll just be without a phone until I get back from Texas. I don’t know what happened. I’m so glad I PRINTED OUR BOARDING PASSES!”

The whole time she’s saying all this, I’m watching the lit-up screen bouncing around in the dark.

Then, Angela stops, and says, “Oops, now I know what’s wrong.”

You guessed it. She still had her blindfold on…

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