Oh, yes! We know you’re excited!! Today, we’re going to share another installment of our popular column, World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals.
Featured below are real quotes from query letters and book proposals submitted to us over the past few weeks. Yes, we can learn from others’ mistakes. And, of course, I save the best one for last!
In case you’re a new reader, please know that we are a publication about writing and publishing FOR WRITERS. When someone contacts us using our online contact form, directly above that form is a link to our writer’s guidelines, in a very large, bold, red font. The link to our guidelines is also at the top of every page on our website.
IF YOUR QUERY LETTER IS ONLY SIX WORDS, NOT MUCH!
What is probability of my acceptance??
IF YOU CAN’T SPELL THE PUBLICATION’S NAME RIGHT, NOR RESEARCH WHAT THEY PUBLISH, NOR USE CORRECT PUNCTUATION, YOU’RE WASTING THE EDITOR’S TIME…AND YOURS.
I am an undergraduate student,pursuingagricutural economics. I have been into article writing for 2 years now. I write social intelligence and business intelligence. I would like to know if Wrters Weekly can consider my articles for publication.
I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS!
Subject: QUERRY LETTER
Legitimate money making website that make you money in your niche – get around being fooled and fooling yourself in research writing.
SO, LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. YOU WANT ME TO WRITE THE ARTICLE THAT YOU WANT TO SELL TO ME?
Please send me a cope of article that you need i want to see how is looklike please
SPACES, PERIODS, AND CORRECT SPELLING ARE A WRITER’S FRIEND! (AND, SO IS RESEARCHING A MARKET BEFORE QUERYING.)
Am a free lance writer currently working on a story”(title removed)” the story is abov a young girl going against all odds to chieve what she feels is better for her.
I BEG TO DIFFER…
My name is (removed)
I am a article writer
IS JION A KARATE MOVE? OR A FOOD ADDITIVE? OR SOME KIND OF SPORT?
Hi good day sir or madam my name is (removed) I would too Jion you.guys
WE HIRE PROFESSIONAL WRITERS. WE DON’T TEACH WRITING CLASSES.
Hi! I was thinking of writing an article, but don’t know how to. I’ve already read the guidelines. Now how do I write my article?
I CAN’T QUITE PUT MY FINGER ON IT BUT…SOMETHING TELLS ME YOU DON’T.
hello my name is (removed) i write good articles
THAT’S A PRETTY IMPRESSIVE RUN-ON SENTENCE!
Kindly find attached copy for wrting an article on marketing ideas of an article please reply soon
IF YOU READ THE “INSTRUCTIONS” (THE WRITER’S GUIDELINES), YOU’D KNOW THE ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION.
how do i get the job after reading all these instructions
WORLD RECORD FOR SHORTEST QUERY LETTER?
i want to write articles
WHY WOULD ANY PROFESSIONAL WRITER GIVE AWAY ARTICLES IN THIS MANNER? THIS IS EXTREMELY UNPROFESSIONAL.
I’m a blogger and an avid reader of Writersweekly, I was following your website for long because I like to read your articles. So, I just want to write a non-promotional article on your website. You can publish under your name if you’d like.
I’M SPEECHLESS ABOUT THIS EMAIL EXCHANGE:
Writer: I am interested in writing articles for Writers Weekly
WritersWeekly’s Managing Editor: Please read our guidelines:
https://writersweekly.com/writersweekly-com-writers-guidelines
Writer: I want to talk to an expert
WHILE I MAY BE SNARKY IN THIS COLUMN, I NEVER “INSULT” WRITERS WHEN RESPONDING TO QUERY LETTERS.
I have experience in writing articles and it would be a special way and pleasure if I can be a part of your team. If you are interested in cooperation, I can send you some of my articles so that I can better understand what exactly works and what you can insult me.
RESEARCH THE PUBLICATION, AND NEVER SUBMIT AN ATTACHMENT WITHOUT REQUESTING PERMISSION FIRST.
Hello!
please look at the article in attachment
is it possible to publish and where it will be publish and cost?
NEVER SUBMIT SCREENSHOTS IN LIEU OF A REAL MANUSCRIPT AND…YUCK!!!
An “author” submitted 3 paragraphs of a book from a Facebook screenshot. Classy. And, it was erotica about “pee and poopoo.” NO THANKS!!!
WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD WRITERSWEEKLY BE INTERESTED IN THIS ARTICLE?
Here is an article in detail about “What is the test tube baby and how it can be a major breakthrough in medical science?”
IN RESPONSE TO A REJECTION LETTER WHERE I HAD TO TELL THE AUTHOR HIS BOOK MANUSCRIPT CONTAINED LITERALLY THOUSANDS OF ERRORS:
Truly u may be reading it wrong a bit. Its a narrative book. And my claim to fame and fortune. Help me help you
I know it has errors but the message is sound. I want to sell the manuscript down the middle. I want rights etc to be split down the middle. This book is worth way more than just errors can fix. Look at it and dictate film or legacy. I talk better in explaining this book. And I can very well talk it through to u. More like a giant web of understanding. Contact me (phone number removed) or just email me. But talk are better. Look it over. Look beyond errors and see the mysteries unfold. Im here anyday to respond
See more entertaining installments of World’s Worst Book Proposals and Query Letters RIGHT HERE.
Please tell us what you think in the comments box below! 🙂
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Angela Hoy is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, the author of 19 books, and the co-owner of BookLocker.com (one of the original POD publishers that still gets books to market in less than a month), PubPreppers.com (print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish), and Abuzz Press (the publishing co-op that charges no setup fees).
Angela has lived and traveled across the U.S. with her kids in an RV, settled in a river-side home in Bradenton, FL, and lived on a 52 ft Irwin sailboat. Angela now resides on a mountaintop in Northwest Georgia, where she plans to spend the rest of her days bird watching, gardening, hiking, and taking in all of the amazing sunrises.
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90+ DAYS OF PROMOTING YOUR BOOK ONLINE: Your Book's Daily Marketing Plan by Angela Hoy and Richard Hoy
Promoting your book online should be considered at least a part-time job. Highly successful authors spend more time promoting a book than they do writing it - a lot more.
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The Do-It-Yourselfer's Guide to Self-Syndication
Practical resource outlining the self-syndication process, step-by-step. Packed with detailed information and useful tips for writers looking to gain readership, name recognition, publication and self-syndication for their column or articles.
https://writersweekly.com/books/4693.html
https://writersweekly.com/books/4693.html
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My take on these queries, first of all, is that they seem to be written by persons whose first language is not English. They remind me of the impossible-to-decipher assembly directions that come with products manufactured in China. OK, so I can give them a pass on English usage but the mystery for me is why would anyone want to write for a market that is 100% in a language for which they have little or no proficiency? That is like my thinking I have valuable info to share with readers who speak only Farsi. I don’t speak a word of Farsi but with a crash course I’m sure I can learn enough to enable me to write absolutely scintillating articles to inform the masses. Not! There seem to be a lot of big egos involved, too…but perhaps that’s another story. Having said all that, I get a weird, head-shaking kind of pleasure from reading these awful queries. Thank you!
At 4AM with a tall glass of brandy, World’s Worst Query Letters is often the best part of that day.
As always, an entertaining read.
Hi Angela,
Wow, those statements by the various “authors” are astounding. It’s a journey for all of us and if we assume we have the next best seller or that we don’t have to do our part in helping the editor, it will be a tough row to hoe for that author or writer. As an illustrator, I’ve had a lot of frustration with authors who want to hire me and pay me after the book is published, when their little amazing gem is making it’s millions. As a writer, I’ve had to keep learning and embrace the hard work. It’s kind of like being a gardener, one has to keep weeding out what doesn’t belong. Thank you for sharing this and other posts. They give me hope for my writing.
This feature never fails to inspire me in my own writing, when I feel doubts crowding my confidence.
Thank you.
Doug
Do you really respond to everybody ? I hope you at least just use a form letter. Perhaps suggesting they try another publication that you do not like:)
Yes, we respond to all of them. 🙂
Angela
P.S. Very funny about referring them to our competitors! 😉