World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For March, 2020!

World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For March, 2020!

DON’T FORGET! The Spring, 2020 24-Hour Short Story Contest will be on Saturday, 04/04/20. That’s only 9 days away!!

1st Place $300 + a Book Publishing Package from BookLocker.com! (Value: $875)

2nd Place: $250

3rd Place: $200

+ 80 other prizes!


Oh, yes! We know you’re excited!! Today, we’re going to share another installment of our popular column, World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals.

We’ve been savings these for a few weeks now so there are a LOT to entertain you!

Featured below are real quotes from query letters and book proposals submitted to us over the past few weeks. Yes, we can learn from others’ mistakes.

In case you’re a new reader, please know that we are a publication about writing and publishing FOR WRITERS. When someone contacts us using our online contact form, directly above that form is a link to our writer’s guidelines, in a very large, bold, red font. The link to our guidelines is also at the top of every page on our website.

IF THE PUNCTUATION AND SPELLING ERRORS WEREN’T ENOUGH, THE LACK OF CONFIDENCE WAS THE NAIL IN THE COFFIN ON THIS ONE.

I am very sorry if its bad it is my first book sooo yeah.

THE BOOK MANUSCRIPT LITERALLY CONTAINED THOUSANDS OF ERRORS.

Are you freaking kidding me? Thanks for crushing my dreams.

AWE! I GUESS WE’RE SECOND BEST!

Nowadays, I’m unable to get the projects, so I think writing for your site is a good idea.

EVEN IF YOU DESPERATELY NEED WORK, TELLING SOMEONE THAT USUALLY HAS THE OPPOSITE EFFECT IN THE HIRING PROCESS. BE CONFIDENT, NOT NEEDY!

Please give me job…i need many

USING TEXTING SHORTHAND IS VERY UNPROFESSIONAL. 

Ma’am can you plz tell me how to send u ideas what I want to write about.

I’M SURE HE MEANT “HOW TO APPLY FOR WRITING ASSIGNMENTS” BUT THIS ONE HAD US IN STITCHES ALL THE SAME. 

I don’t know how to apply myself. Can u plz tell me?

WE’RE NOT A HORSE OR RODEO PUBLICATION. 😉

I’m interested in riding for your magazine

SPELLING IS SO VERY IMPORTANT WHEN APPROACHING A PUBLICATION!

How to start with all the stuff. I really wanted to start with your company. Please can you grant me any job related to article and paragraph writinhs. I can write as many as 1000-1500 words article or paragraph. Please grant me thus job.

OOOH! HE WANTS TO “HAVE HIS WAY” WITH ME!!!

Hello, I’m a freelance writer in sports category. Can I have my way doing what I love to do most here? Best regard.

WOW! LOTS OF HOT WORDS COMING FROM PROSPECTIVE WRITERS LATELY! I’M SWEATING!!

I am very passionated for you on writing articles to make use of and to acquire skills for the beginner’s. I hope you would understand.

EXAMPLE OF A STANDARD, NON-SPECIFIC “SPAM” EMAIL. WE RECEIVE SEVERAL OF THESE EACH DAY AND WE DELETE THEM. 

I am looking to contribute to kick-ass sites in the marketing niche, and I was wondering if yours accepts contributions? I write engaging and actionable keyword focused content The kind that should be a staple in this niche, if you want to engage your audience and improve your Google rankings.

WELL, IT’S MY WEBSITE AND I GET TO CHOOSE WHAT GETS POSTED, BUDDY. 

how are you doing? i must post here on this site.

WE DON’T PUBLISH POLITICAL PIECES, NOR CURRENT AFFAIRS. SO, WHY ARE YOU CONTACTING ME?

my question is sir/ madam can I write articles and send them to you via email. article regarding global politics and current affairs. I also want to know if in case my articles increase 600 words and go up to 3000 or plus words what happens in this case 

ONCE AGAIN, WE’RE SECOND BEST! YEA US!!!

I have articles to submit. The other site i use has not responded, so I am back here.

YOU CAN DO IT!! (RIGHT AFTER YOU READ OUR WRITER’S GUIDELINES AND QUERY CORRECTLY.)

I am glad to apply. Will appreciate your acceptance. I can do this

I DON’T EVEN… I MEAN… WHAT?!?!

I have to send name of new magazines. Please say me that I will receive the amount or not for saying the names of magazines.

YEEHAW! THIS LADY WRITES LIKE THOSE COWGIRLS I GREW UP WITH IN TEXAS!

I would like to write here an article

BUT, WE COVER WRITING AND PUBLISHING. YOU CLEARLY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT OUR WEBSITE. 

I want to write articles about social issues

THE MOST POLITE, NONSENSICAL QUERY WE’VE RECEIVED IN AWHILE!

If accepted I would gain this site much appraisal through my posts

WELL, HE’S QUITE THE GENERALIST, ISN’T HE?

I interested to write articles about secret marketing or anything issues. Thanks

I’M EXHAUSTED JUST READING THIS.

Have a good day sir with all anticipation i fully organized with creative skills cum writing articles interested too looking for a chance to throw myself in favor of your website for enhancing readers of your website. sir, let me know whenever you need article writer for your website you should pay what i write for you. thanks waiting for kind reply.

IF YOU’RE QUERYING AN ENGLISH-LANGUAGE PUBLICATION, YOU SHOULD HAVE AN ENGLISH-SPEAKING FRIEND CHECK YOUR WORK FIRST. 

For this reasons, I will love to write in order to enlighten writers on how to make gain out of writing

WELL, MY FIRST ASSIGNMENT WOULD BE FOR YOU TO READ OUR WRITER’S GUIDELINES. 

What assignment (s) did you have for me?

THIS IS ANOTHER GENERAL EMAIL THAT WE SEE TIME AND TIME AGAIN. WE ALWAYS DELETE THESE. THIS PERSON OBVIOUSLY HAS NO IDEA WHAT WE COVER IN WRITERSWEEKLY. 

Hello,
I was finding some blogs that are interested in reading. And I came across your blog. I was thrilled to read such a fantastic blog after a long time. This is one of those articles I enjoyed reading. Can I write for you?

IS SHE OFFERING TO HIRE ME? OR IS IT THE OTHER WAY AROUND? I’M SO CONFUSED!

How do I submit an article. If i want to hire by you as a writer

I’M SORRY BUT, IF YOU CAN’T SPELL IT, YOU’RE NOT IT. 

I AM AUTHOUR

NO THANKS, PERV!!! 

I want to sell my article which is on “10 Clever ways to use Hidden Cameras”

See more entertaining installments of World’s Worst Book Proposals and Query Letters RIGHT HERE.

Please tell us what you think in the comments box below! 🙂

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Got questions about Print On Demand and Self-publishing? Ask Angela Hoy.

About The Author

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Angela Hoy is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, the author of 19 books, and the co-owner of BookLocker.com (one of the original POD publishers that still gets books to market in less than a month), PubPreppers.com (print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish), and Abuzz Press (the publishing co-op that charges no setup fees).

Angela lives on a 52' Irwin Center Cockpit Ketch (sailboat) with her family and pets. Keep up with her family's adventurous liveaboard lifestyle at GotNoTanLines.com

WritersWeekly.com - the free marketing ezine for writers, which features new paying markets and freelance job listings every Wednesday.

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Abuzz Press offers FAST and FREE book publication, but only accepts a small percentage of submissions, and only works with U.S. authors.

PubPreppers.com - "We Prep, You Publish!" Print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish. Offers formatting and design services only, and then provides simple instructions for authors on where to sign up to have the print and ebook editions printed/listed/sold. Cut out the middle man. Keep 100% of what bookstores pay for your book!

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Have a POD Book with another publisher? See if BookLocker can give you a better deal. (BookLocker offers "disgruntled author discounts" to those who want to move from other POD services.)


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https://24hourshortstorycontest.com/



Read More Of Angela's Articles HERE

 



90+ DAYS OF PROMOTING YOUR BOOK ONLINE: Your Book's Daily Marketing Plan by Angela Hoy and Richard Hoy



Promoting your book online should be considered at least a part-time job. Highly successful authors spend more time promoting a book than they do writing it - a lot more.

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Practical resource outlining the self-syndication process, step-by-step. Packed with detailed information and useful tips for writers looking to gain readership, name recognition, publication and self-syndication for their column or articles.







http://writersweekly.com/books/4693.html



One Response to "World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For March, 2020!"

  1. Shanna Lowe  March 28, 2020 at 2:01 am

    I needed a good laugh!