It’s that time again!! The non-sensical emails with off topic pitches, badly worded questions, and meaningless statements keep rolling in. Today, we’re going to share another installment of our popular column, World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals.

We’ve been saving these for a few weeks now so there are a LOT to entertain you! As always, we’ve saved the best for last!

Featured below are real quotes from query letters and book proposals submitted to us over the past few weeks. Yes, we can learn from others’ mistakes!

In case you’re a new reader, please know that we are a publication about writing and publishing FOR WRITERS. When someone contacts us using our online contact form, directly above that form is a link to our writer’s guidelines, in a very large, bold, red font. The link to our guidelines is also at the top of every page on our website.

Are you ready? ENJOY!

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Helo,
i am an indivisual writter and want to publish my article in wrttersweekly.
thankyou

If you can’t spell writer correctly (nor the name of our publication), you can’t write for us.

Good night I have new to publish please

Writers should not query while drinking…

Will this article make money? Yes

What article?

Hello there i’m Jenny i’ll love to be posting articles for your website. The content i post is from health related information to science and more

If you can’t use correct capitalization, we can’t work with you. Also, you clearly didn’t research what we cover.

No I don’t have any questions.

Oh, good! That means I don’t have to provide any answers!

Submit a pitching article

Are we talking about baseball???

I would like to write football news articles for you

Maybe you should get together with the alleged sports writer above? You both should check out this article, which we published today: 8 Paying Sports Markets for Writers.

Plzzz response of my article

Please don’t use texting shorthand in query letters!

Please have u any writing job….. I really need ki dky respond me as soon as possible..

Please read this article: If You Are “Sympathy Pitching” Editors and Publishers, PLEASE STOP!

My story is angels helping others with hunger and I will propose to because I am so thankful that we wish we wish that lord is doing so well and you will be America’s most beautiful and beautiful way to go on is a bit more more more today and I will be able to the heart and I will be able to your lifestyle and how we will be able to your lifestyle and how we will be able to get a job in a way that you can get to wish you a good day and I will propose to because I am so excited about the best for you and me to know faith is changing your life if you need it always for you and me to know faith is changing your life if you need it always for you have someone who is is fantastic new day

That is the longest run-on sentence I have ever seen!!!

I’m a writer.

Good for you! So am I!

in which topic i make article

Yoda is at it again!

hurry please!

Why? Is the house on fire???

Am here to submit my article: Top 10 Stunning Dishes on Which Creatures Eaten Alive by People

Um, what?!?!

Thank you very nice job

You’re welcome! Errr…what did I do?

i will provide you articles.can you contact with me

Missing capitalization, incorrect punctuation, and spacing errors. No thank you!

Professionally I am a Ph.D. in agriculture, Genetics and Plant Breeding specifically. I was curious know to know is any of agriculture topic will attract more readers to read the article?

You have clearly never read WritersWeekly.

My work is my passion

Mine is, too! Did you have a question?

Can I submit my articles at anytime I want to or maybe there’s a time limit?

I don’t understand your question. Would it be too much trouble for you to read our writer’s guidelines?

Dear [Editor’s Name],
I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to propose an article for [Publication Name] titled “The Synergy Between Freelance Writing and the Publishing Industry: A Win-Win for Both Sides.”

This is a rookie mistake. If you mass-email editors in this way, your email will get deleted.

Subject: Query: Application for Writer Position at WritersWeekly.com
Date: Mon, 2 Sep 2024 23:42:58 +0500
From: Sadam Hussain

Wait! I thought you were dead!!!

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See more entertaining installments of World’s Worst Book Proposals and Query Letters RIGHT HERE.

Please tell us what you think in the comments box below! 🙂

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Have questions about Writing, Print On Demand, or Self-publishing? Ask Angela.