EDITOR’S NOTE: Gary Sturgis has more than half a million followers on his social media platforms now! Click to follow his extremely popular Surviving Grief Facebook Group!

When most authors publish a book, they immediately begin asking the same question:

“How do I sell it?”

I understand why. Writing a book takes months, sometimes years, and once it’s finished, you want people to read it.

But looking back, I believe I made a fortunate mistake.

I didn’t start by trying to sell books. I started by trying to help people.

After losing my spouse, I began writing about grief. Not because I wanted to become an author, but because I was trying to make sense of my own loss. I shared my thoughts online and discovered something unexpected: people were responding. They weren’t looking for perfect writing or marketing messages. They were looking for someone who understood what they were going through.

One post became ten. Ten became one hundred. Before long, a community began to form.

When I eventually published my first book, SURVIVING – Finding Your Way from Grief to Healing, I realized something important. The book wasn’t really the product. The relationships were.

People bought the book because they already trusted the voice behind it. They spent months, and in some cases years, reading my posts and feeling understood. The book just became a deeper way to continue a conversation we were already having.

Many authors focus on building an audience for their book. I believe the better approach is to build a community around a shared interest, challenge, or passion. If you do that successfully, the book becomes a natural extension of the relationship rather than a sales transaction.

Readers are incredibly good at sensing authenticity. They know when every post is leading to a pitch. They also know when someone genuinely wants to serve, teach, encourage, or entertain.

Ironically, the less I focused on selling books, the more books I sold.

I then took all my blogs from social media and compiled them into my book, SURVIVING GRIEF – 365 Days A Year, which became an international bestseller.

The lesson for self-published authors is simple: Don’t ask yourself how to sell your book. Ask yourself how to help the people your book was written for.

Show up consistently. Share what you know. Be useful. Be human. Create a place where people feel seen.

If you succeed at that, your community will do something no marketing campaign can accomplish. They’ll tell others about your work because they believe in it.

Books matter. And books rarely grow on their own.

Communities do.

And when you build a community first, the book stops being the destination.

It becomes part of the journey.

RELATED

• The Importance of Finding YOUR Author Community Online – by Gary Sturgis – Bestselling Author of: SURVIVING GRIEF – 365 Days A Year
• Dear Authors: Please Stop Posting Your Book on My Social Media Pages Without Asking First – by Gary Sturgis – Bestselling Author of: SURVIVING GRIEF – 365 Days A Year
• Why Authors Should Cheer Each Other On (And Mean It) By Gary Sturgis – Bestselling author of: SURVIVING GRIEF – 365 Days A Year
• When Trolls Show Up, You’re Doing Something Right! – by Gary Sturgis, Bestselling author of: SURVIVING GRIEF – 365 Days A Year –

Gary’s books:

• SURVIVING GRIEF: 365 Days a Year by Gary Sturgis
  Surviving Grief – 365 Days a Year is a follow-up to Gary’s bestselling book Surviving – Finding Your Way from Grief to Healing. Gary offers you reassuring guidance and comforting advice as you travel through your personal grief journey.
• The SURVIVING GRIEF Workbook: Exercises For Working Through Grief by Gary Sturgis
  The SURVIVING GRIEF Workbook provides a roadmap for your grief while reminding you that there’s no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to grieve. It’s filled with the heartfelt guidance you’ll need to help guide you on your path to healing.
• What Feeds Your Soul?: Finding Light in the Shadow of Grief by Gary Sturgis
  WHAT FEEDS YOUR SOUL? offers gentle reflections and compassionate guidance for those journeying through grief—helping you tend to your spirit, honor memories, and find comfort, strength, and light amid loss.
• Surviving: Finding Your Way from Grief to Healing by Gary Sturgis
  There is a way out of grief. It will take time, but the pain will lessen, and your heart will heal. You will survive, and this book shows you how.
• GRIEF: Hope in the Aftermath by Gary Sturgis
  I wrote this book to help others like me who are on a journey of grief. I consider it a handy “companion” to use along the way. If you have experienced a tragic loss, or know someone else that has, the road of grief doesn’t have to be walked alone.
• SURVIVING GRIEF During the Holidays by Gary Sturgis
  Loss doesn’t take a holiday. When the world sparkles with lights and laughter, grief can feel even heavier. SURVIVING GRIEF During the Holidays is a compassionate companion for those navigating the season after loss.
• A Life Ring for Katie: Finding Hope After Goodbye – by Gary Sturgis. When Katie loses her beloved brother, the ocean feels big and lonely. But a bright red life ring helps her remember something important: love never sinks. A gentle story to help children understand grief, memory, and hope.

Gary Sturgis survived the greatest loss of his life and now works as a Grief Specialist, Bereavement Facilitator and Speaker, guiding and supporting others in their struggle with grief. He finds it an honor to help those that are grieving a loss navigate their way through the maze of grief in a very personal and meaningful way. He lives by the ocean in Plymouth, Massachusetts. Contact Gary directly RIGHT HERE. Gary’s Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/SurvivingGriefGarySturgis