World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For November, 2019!

World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For November, 2019!

Oh, yes! We know you’re excited!! Today, we’re going to share another installment of our popular column, World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals.

We’ve been savings these for a few weeks now so there are a LOT to entertain you!

Featured below are real quotes from query letters and book proposals submitted to us over the past few weeks. Yes, we can learn from others’ mistakes. And, of course, I always save the best one for last!

In case you’re a new reader, please know that we are a publication about writing and publishing FOR WRITERS. When someone contacts us using our online contact form, directly above that form is a link to our writer’s guidelines, in a very large, bold, red font. The link to our guidelines is also at the top of every page on our website.

FLUENT, HUH???

I write for you.i had fluent luangage on my hand that’s for you .

YOU SHOULD PROBABLY LOOK FOR A WORKING SPACE BAR FIRST…

I am looking for para-phrasing,proof-reading,fact-checking and content-writing job.

THE 10-WORD QUERY WITH NO PUNCTUATION.

I need to know more about it and sign up

WE DON’T HAVE ANY GEOGRAPHICAL LIMITS ON OUR FREELANCERS…BUT WE DO REQUIRE THAT THEY READ OUR WRITER’S GUIDELINES!

I’m from Bangladesh, so am i eligible;e to write your site.

WE DON’T HAVE MUCH CONFIDENCE IN THIS STATEMENT!

This article is very accurate grammatical and no spelling mistake. This article is rewriting.

WELL, READ OUR WRITER’S GUIDELINES, OF COURSE!

I want to write for you. How do I do that?

WE PAY FOR ARTICLES. WRITERS DO NOT PAY US!

I need to post here https://writersweekly.com/ Let me know the price for each post.

YOUR QUESTIONS ARE ANSWERED IN OUR WRITER’S GUIDELINES.

how I’ll be paid and how’ll my article be selected for promotion?

CLEARLY SHE HAS NOT BEEN LOOKING AT OUR SITE FOR “SOME TIME NOW!”

I write about health, yoga, and fitness. I’ve been looking at your site for some time now and I like the perspective of your website. We should collaborate. I can create guest-written content to give your readers some insights on a (lifestyle, good or service, culture, brand) they’re into, thereby providing your site with valuable back-links from an established brand.

UM, WHAT???

My story begins with truth…wat is truth…do u think truth is the only thing ever lasts if we say truth and act in a dignified truthful manner dont we get any trouble in life…bcoz we r in right path

THE PROCEDURE? WHAT PROCEDURE? MEDICAL? IS SOMEONE SICK???

hello how do i start writing for the procedure

I’M JUST FINE, THANK YOU. WOULDN’T YOUR TIME BE BETTER SPENT READING OUR WRITER’S GUIDELINES INSTEAD OF SENDING RANDOM, GENERIC EMAILS TO EDITORS?

How are you doing? I need post here on site. https://writersweekly.com

YEAH, YOU MIGHT WANT TO IMPROVE YOUR WRITING BEFORE EMAILING EDITORS. WE DON’T TRAIN WRITERS BEFORE HIRING THEM. THERE ARE COUNTLESS OTHER WEBSITES THAT OFFER ADVICE ON HOW TO WRITE…WHICH IS WHY WE DON’T. 

I would love to improve my writing. I want to try myself for yours. What do you think about that?

OUR MANAGING EDITOR, BRIAN WHIDDON, WROTE ABOUT “SYMPATHY PITCHES” RIGHT HERE

I am in too much need of making money for the livelihood of my family. I like to write articles.

YOU SHOULD BEGIN WITH THE TOPICS MENTIONED IN OUR WRITER’S GUIDELINES. 

Please what type of story should I embark on?

HUGE, FRUSTRATED SIGH…..

I am writting to seek representation for my 600 words article, which embroidered around the legal profession and artificial intelligence.

ARRRGHHH!! READ OUR WRITER’S GUIDELINES!!!

Hi,i want to work with you.Can you tell me what should i do?

WHY WOULD A PUBLICATION FOR WRITERS BE INTERESTED IN THIS?

i want to write a article on greatest discovery of 21st century that is graphene.graphene so a lot of potential.it can alter the future .

WOW! BEYOND WELL QUALIFIED FOR ANY POSITION! THAT’S INCREDIBLE!!!

Hope to actually work for you all I m beyond well qualified for any position that is

SELECTED FOR WHAT EXACTLY?

I hope I will be selected

EDITORS ARE NOT TRANSLATORS! PLEASE READ: 5 Tips For Non-Native English Writers By Aris Apostolopoulos

I would like to become an author of articles of entertainment genre, for Your magazine. But unfortunately I don’t know English. Is it possible to cooperate? I send You one of my stories, for review.

IS THERE AN ECHO IN HERE?

I want to write articles on writers weekly. Com, I have written so many articles so now I wish to publish them through writers weekly. Com

WE’RE LOOKING FOR QUERY LETTERS, NOT RESUMES!

want a firm who could utilize, challenge and develop my writing skills.

WELL, I LOVE CHOCOLATE, PARTICULARLY IF IT HAS SEA SALT AND CARAMEL IN IT. I ALSO LOVE SUPREME, THICK CRUST PIZZA. UNFORTUNATELY, WE’RE NOT HIRING A CHEF. WE NEED WRITERS. 

What are your tastes? Will like to work extremely hard to fit your taste.

TAKE A CLASS. DON’T EXPECT EDITORS TO TEACH YOU HOW TO WRITE. 

ineed training on freelance writing

WOW, THAT’S A LOT OF DEMANDS FROM SOMEONE LOOKING FOR WORK! I WAS TOO BUSY TO RESPOND AND I’M SURE EVERY OTHER EDITOR HE EMAILED WAS AS WELL. 

I would like to submit my article(s) to Writers Weekly. I hope you like them. The article(s) are attached. I have attached 3 articles. I hope you like them. These articles are requesting cash, please say which articles you would accept on your blog. Please say (if your rejecting the articles) why you would reject the articles and what specific reason to your specifications.

HE’S BASICALLY SAYING, “PUBLISH MY BOOK SO YOU CAN GET SUED, TOO!” NO THANKS!

If someone doesn’t sue the shit out of me for the content within this book, I’ll consider it a success. I couldn’t even get anyone to write a Foreword.

See more entertaining installments of World’s Worst Book Proposals and Query Letters RIGHT HERE.

Please tell us what you think in the comments box below! 🙂

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6 Responses to "World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For November, 2019!"

  1. Suzan St Maur  November 10, 2019 at 8:36 am

    Hilarious.
    I get those too – people insisting that my readers will fall in love with their article on growing cucumbers. (There’s a hint in the website’s name…)
    You wonder if some of them can even do up their own shoelaces.
    Sz xx

    Reply
  2. Elizabeth Molanare  November 9, 2019 at 6:09 pm

    It seems many people don’t read your Writer’s Guidelines before they submit their query letters or book proposals to you. Before I send any query letter or book proposal to you, I’ll make sure to read your guidelines and follow them.

    Reply
  3. Pamela Allegretto  November 9, 2019 at 12:21 pm

    Thank you for livening up my day. I really needed a boost, and you delivered. I agree with Linda, the last query is “frame worthy.” Cheers!

    Reply
  4. Ann-Louise Truschel  November 9, 2019 at 11:58 am

    Do these people actually have serious long-term goals? Correction: Do these people have serious SHORT-TERM goals?. Correction: Do these people have ANY goals?

    Reply
  5. Elizabeth Westra  November 9, 2019 at 12:06 am

    I can’t believe these people actually thought they would get published with these queries.

    Reply
  6. Linda Rosencrance  November 8, 2019 at 12:10 pm

    LOL. The last one is my very favorite.

    Reply

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