Oh, yes! We know you’re excited!! Today, we’re going to share another installment of our popular column, World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals.
We’ve been savings these for a few weeks now so there are a LOT to entertain you! As always, I’ve saved the best for last!
Featured below are real quotes from query letters and book proposals submitted to us over the past few weeks. Yes, we can learn from others’ mistakes!
In case you’re a new reader, please know that we are a publication about writing and publishing FOR WRITERS. When someone contacts us using our online contact form, directly above that form is a link to our writer’s guidelines, in a very large, bold, red font. The link to our guidelines is also at the top of every page on our website.
Are you ready? ENJOY!
NO, YOU ARE NOT A PROFESSIONAL ARTICLE WRITER.
I am professional of article writing and I can give my best .
THE TWO-WORD QUERY (WITH NO ARTICLE ATTACHED)
Article submission
THERE ARE NUMEROUS BOOKS ON THE MARKET THAT TEACH WRITERS HOW TO WRITE, AND HOW TO QUERY PUBLICATIONS.
How do I start writing to get paid and can I write an article on my struggle as a male
READ MY COMMENT ABOVE.
What I have to do for earning via content writing?
OFFERING TO WRITE FOR FREE IS A SIGN OF AN AMATEUR. PAYING PUBLICATIONS DON’T WANT POORLY-WRITTEN FREE ARTICLES.
I would love to write for your website as I do it with sheer joy and passion when it comes to writing.
WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD A PUBLICATION FOR WRITERS BE INTERESTED IN AN ARTICLE LIKE THAT?
I would very much like to write on the role of housewives in todays world.
I DON’T OFFER CONSULTING SERVICES AND I DON’T HAVE TIME TO EXPLAIN THE ENTIRE PROCESS TO SOMEONE WHEN THERE ARE COUNTLESS BOOKS ON THE MARKET THAT DO.
I’m wondering how to look for the right publisher. I wrote a book that is currently in editing but I’ve never been through the process of publishing. I’m not very knowledgeable about the steps needed to publish a book and who I should trust.
GOOD FOR YOU! SO AM I!!
I am a blogger and a Content writer
ANYONE WHO TELLS ME I “MUST” DO SOMETHING DOES NOT RECEIVE A RESPONSE.
Yes I am willing to do your work if you will give me a chance without any issues must leave an Email thanks
ANYTIME SOMEONE WRITES “PRESTIGIOUS” BLOG OR WEBSITE, I KNOW THAT THEY’VE NEVER EVEN LOOKED AT OURS. FALSE FLATTERY IS SO OBVIOUS, AND IS AN INSTANT DEAL KILLER.
I request an update about what motivation topics should I write about for your prestigious blog. I am interested in submitting my write-ups as it will be an absolute pleasure of mine to contribute for people in some helpful mode.
WELL, YOU GOT THE NAME OF OUR WEBSITE CORRECT BUT YOU CLEARLY KNOW NOTHING ELSE ABOUT IT!
I would love to share good things to everyone in the world. I really appreciate working with Writer Weekly. This is an article about OFFICE YOGA’S SURPRISE BENEFITS.
UM, WHAT?!?!
This is to inform you that I ve come up with a Great Quoatation, in order to submit it I visited this website.
READ THIS OUT LOUD. SOUNDS LIKE A ROBOT WROTE IT. NO THANKS.
Am a beginner would like to have some experience, with you that would be great if you give chance. I can prove that am pretty enthusiastic, a hard worker so feel free to contact me.
NO, WE AREN’T ACCEPTING WRITERS WHO CAN’T SPELL AND WHO DON’T USE CORRECT CAPITALIZATION AND PUNCTUATION.
hello, a you still accepting new writers
A HILARIOUS EXCHANGE!
Author: I could e-mail the thing, but I’d prefer to mail you a DVD.
WritersWeekly: We do not accept DVDs or CDs. Laptops do not come with those types of drives any longer. I’m sorry.
Author: Sorry. I won’t work with any publisher that refuses to buy a $40 DVD drive. That is an absurd reply.
IF YOUR WRITING IS SO BAD THAT WE NEED TO DECIPHER WHAT YOU MEAN, WE CAN’T WORK WITH YOU.
I want to write and get paid but am unable to son up for that
CLICK ON THE LINK AT THE TOP OF EVERY PAGE ON OUR WEBSITE TO LEARN HOW.
how do i work with you writing articles ?
HARD PASS…
Hi, I read your website. your website is a good site for writing. I also write on your site. kindly allow me to write here. I will be thankful to you.
NO, DO NOT SEND ME THE ARTICLE BECAUSE IT WILL GO RIGHT INTO MY EMAIL TRASH.
Hi,
I want to write an article on , skills that can
you make a millionaire. Should I go ahead and send the article?
I’M INTERESTED IN WRITERS WHO KNOW CORRECT SPELLING, CAPITALIZATION, AND PUNCTUATION.
interested in submitting articals that i write and find interesting
WE NEED WRITERS WHO HAVE EXPERIENCE, NOT WRITERS WHO ARE LOOKING FOR IT.
hello writerwweekly
I want to write for writersweekly and publish more of my idea. give a chance to show my experience.
AND, ANOTHER ONE WHO KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT WRITERSWEEKLY AND WHO HAS NOT READ OUR GUIDELINES.
Can I sell my article for publishing here?
I write articles on following catagory:
Recipes,Nutrition,lifestyle,Technology related.
SPEECHLESS…
Books Writer:
Hi How are you Dear?
I am a composer. I want work with you. I compose/write Books in soft form like in Ms office or other your website.
I work full satisfully.
Response me.
Thanks…..
See more entertaining installments of World’s Worst Book Proposals and Query Letters RIGHT HERE.
Please tell us what you think in the comments box below! 🙂
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About The Author
Angela Hoy is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, the author of 19 books, and the co-owner of BookLocker.com (one of the original POD publishers that still gets books to market in less than a month), PubPreppers.com (print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish), and Abuzz Press (the publishing co-op that charges no setup fees).
Angela has lived and traveled across the U.S. with her kids in an RV, settled in a river-side home in Bradenton, FL, and lived on a 52 ft Irwin sailboat. Angela now resides on a mountaintop in Northwest Georgia, where she plans to spend the rest of her days bird watching, gardening, hiking, and taking in all of the amazing sunrises.
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Abuzz Press offers FAST and FREE book publication, but only accepts a small percentage of submissions, and only works with U.S. authors.
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Angela's POD Secrets Revealed Series can be found HERE.
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90+ DAYS OF PROMOTING YOUR BOOK ONLINE: Your Book's Daily Marketing Plan by Angela Hoy and Richard Hoy
Promoting your book online should be considered at least a part-time job. Highly successful authors spend more time promoting a book than they do writing it - a lot more.
We know what you're thinking. You're an author, not a marketer. Not to worry! We have more than a decade of successful online book selling experience under our belts and we're going to teach you how to promote your book effectively online...and almost all of our techniques are FREE!
Online book promotion is not only simple but, if you have a step-by-step, day-to-day marketing plan (this book!), it can also be a very artistic endeavor, which makes it fun for creative folks like you!
Yes, online book promoting can be EASY and FUN! Let us show you how, from Day 1 through Day 90...and beyond!
The Do-It-Yourselfer's Guide to Self-Syndication
Practical resource outlining the self-syndication process, step-by-step. Packed with detailed information and useful tips for writers looking to gain readership, name recognition, publication and self-syndication for their column or articles.
https://writersweekly.com/books/4693.html
https://writersweekly.com/books/4693.html
I love your column, “World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals.” This one was hysterical, as usual. But then again, as science fiction author Theodore Sturgeon said, “Ninety percent of everything is c*ap.”
I take his quote to mean that the other ten percent keeps everything together. You happen to be in a position where you receive more than your ninety percent share.
Judging by my Excel submissions spreadsheet, my early writing was in the ninety percent category, more than the ten percent category. On the positive side, I’ve helped the environment and saved a ton of money by using them as litterbox liners. So rationally speaking, even my rejected stories made me money and contributed to society.