Oh, yes! We know you’re excited!! Today, we’re going to share another installment of our popular column, World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals.
We’ve been savings these for a few weeks now so there are a LOT to entertain you! As always, I’ve saved the best for last!
Featured below are real quotes from query letters and book proposals submitted to us over the past few weeks. Yes, we can learn from others’ mistakes.
In case you’re a new reader, please know that we are a publication about writing and publishing FOR WRITERS. When someone contacts us using our online contact form, directly above that form is a link to our writer’s guidelines, in a very large, bold, red font. The link to our guidelines is also at the top of every page on our website.
WE REFUSE TO FILL OUR WEBSITE WITH A BUNCH OF SCAM ADVERTORIALS.
I want to post on this website. Please let me know this price of each post with dofollow link. I am waiting for your reply.
FIRST, LEARN CORRECT SPELLING AND CAPITALIZATION. SECOND, READ OUR WRITER’S GUIDELINES, WHICH APPEAR ON THE TOP OF EVERY PAGE ON OUR WEBSITE.
I want submit a article for your webset.. how can i submit it..? Please help me.
I WAS SO DIZZY AFTER READING THIS THAT I HAD TO CLICK THE DELETE BUTTON. (AND, WHAT IS A HARD COPY SUBSTANCE? IT SOUNDS POISONOUS!)
I’m master recorded as a hard copy substance and articles , likewise a General Photographer, help individuals how to bring in cash online adjacent to this at present I am a website guide . kindly show me how to submit my articles on your website thanks.
I’M TRYING TO MAKE THE CONNECTION BETWEEN FREELANCE WRITING AND LAUNCHING A FASHION BRAND. THINKING. THINKING.. STILL THINKING… NOPE. I CAN’T FIGURE IT OUT.
I’m an an entrepreneur, author and poet. I’m currently taking exams. I want to earn by writing so that I can officially launch my fashion brand soon.
IF YOU CAN’T TAKE THE TIME TO READ OUR WRITER’S GUIDELINES, I CAN’T TAKE THE TIME TO RESPOND TO YOUR QUERY.
I’m interested in sending you an article on pets, animals, topics that contain original, rigorous, and up-to-date content. I believe it’s worth publishing and should interest your readers.
IS IT JUST ME OR IS THIS ONE A BIT OUT OF ORDER?
Hello, Have a good day! I would like to share with you that I want to submit an article on your site.
UM, I ALREADY WRITE ARTICLES FOR MY OWN WEBSITE.
Would you consider being an article writer on your website?
READ OUR WRITER’S GUIDELINES, FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS THEREIN, AND USE CORRECT PUNCTUATION WHEN QUERYING US.
How to join your offer ma’am Angela?
WE CAN’T ACCEPT AN ARTICLE UNTIL/UNLESS YOU QUERY US, RECEIVE AN ASSIGNMENT, AND SUBMIT A QUALITY ARTICLE THAT OUR READERS WILL ENJOY.
i will write an article for you . kindly accept my article
IT’S PRETTY EASY TO TELL WHEN SOMEBODY SPAMS A BUNCH OF EDITORS, AND JUST PLUGS THAT WEBSITE’S NAME INTO THE EMAIL.
I wish to see and help people strive just like others have done me and there is no better place to do that than publishing on Writer’s Weekly, the most efficient writers website. I hope you can take my proposal into consideration and I hope to receive a response.
CAN YOU READ OUR WRITER’S GUIDELINES?
Are you looking for any particular topic? Can you only submit one story?
I THINK MY EMAIL PROGRAM’S TRASH CAN WOULD BE A GOOD FIT FOR YOUR QUERY.
I’m dropping you a line to see if you’re accepting new guest bloggers. I write about “Hair Transplant” and thought an article about this topic would be a good fit for your blog.
THE 4-WORD QUERY LETTER.
How did company pay.
IF THIS WAS TRUE (IT’S NOT!), YOU’D KNOW ALL ABOUT WRITER’S GUIDELINES AND QUERY LETTERS.
Hi, I am an experienced article writer and blogger. I have 7 years of experience writing on various freelance writing platforms, and now I want to write for you.
SENDING FORM EMAILS LIKE THIS IS A WASTE OR YOUR AND EVERY EDITOR’S TIME.
How to apply to write for writers weekly and what kind of article or on what topic specifically I can submit as sample.
WHY ARE YOU WASTING TIME QUERYING A WEBSITE ABOUT WRITING AND PUBLISHING WITH THIS?!
I would like to submit a short story I wrote regarding the death of an individual in mental health hospital.The death was caused by gangsters who he’d somehow crossed and who found him in said hospital.
ARRRGHHH!!! READ OUR WRITER’S GUIDELINES!!
Where I publish article in your site?
A CLASSIC SIGN OF A HOBBYIST WRITER. HE’S NOT A PROFESSIONAL.
Hello, I would like to write for your site. Writing is my passion and job. I like to share with others, and if sharing information can help someone, I feel good.
IT’S PRETTY NAUGHTY OF YOU TO PITCH THIS TO A WEBSITE THAT COVERS WRITING AND PUBLISHING. AND, YOUR SHIFT KEY APPEARS TO BE BROKEN.
i am writing erotic stories. please could you tell me the payment option or eligibility option.
YOU ARE NOT AN EXPERT WRITER.
I am an expert writer and I wish I could find my opprtunity I can provide featured articles, covering many interesting topics
REALLY? ARE WE GOING TO HAVE A WRITING PARTY OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT??
I would like to join you guys writing
MY FIRST THREAT-BY-QUERY!
A writer submitted a form query to us (which I would have ignored anyway) but, at the top, was a meme of a mob boss saying, “Think carefully before you answer.”
See more entertaining installments of World’s Worst Book Proposals and Query Letters RIGHT HERE.
Please tell us what you think in the comments box below! 🙂
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Have questions about Writing, Print On Demand, or Self-publishing? Ask Angela.
Got questions about Print On Demand and Self-publishing? Ask Angela Hoy.
About The Author
Angela Hoy is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, the author of 19 books, and the co-owner of BookLocker.com (one of the original POD publishers that still gets books to market in less than a month), PubPreppers.com (print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish), and Abuzz Press (the publishing co-op that charges no setup fees).
Angela has lived and traveled across the U.S. with her kids in an RV, settled in a river-side home in Bradenton, FL, and lived on a 52 ft Irwin sailboat. Angela now resides on a mountaintop in Northwest Georgia, where she plans to spend the rest of her days bird watching, gardening, hiking, and taking in all of the amazing sunrises.
WritersWeekly.com - the free marketing ezine for writers, which features new paying markets and freelance job listings every Wednesday.
BookLocker.com - According to attorney Mark Levine, author of The Fine Print, BookLocker is: "As close to perfection as you're going to find in the world of ebook and POD publishing. The ebook royalties are the highest I've ever seen, and the print royalties are better than average. BookLocker understands what new authors experience, and have put together a package that is the best in the business. You can't go wrong here. Plus, they're selective and won't publish any manuscript just because it's accompanied by a check. Also, the web site is well trafficked. If you can find a POD or epublisher with as much integrity and dedication to selling authors' books, but with lower POD publishing fees, please let me know."
Abuzz Press offers FAST and FREE book publication, but only accepts a small percentage of submissions, and only works with U.S. authors.
PubPreppers.com - "We Prep, You Publish!" Print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish. Offers formatting and design services only, and then provides simple instructions for authors on where to sign up to have the print and ebook editions printed/listed/sold. Cut out the middle man. Keep 100% of what bookstores pay for your book!
Angela's POD Secrets Revealed Series can be found HERE.
Have a POD Book with another publisher? See if BookLocker can give you a better deal. (BookLocker offers "disgruntled author discounts" to those who want to move from other POD services.)
See BookLocker's publishing packages HERE.
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Angela is the creator of the Original 24-Hour Short Story Contest!
https://24hourshortstorycontest.com/
Read More Of Angela's Articles HERE
90+ DAYS OF PROMOTING YOUR BOOK ONLINE: Your Book's Daily Marketing Plan by Angela Hoy and Richard Hoy
Promoting your book online should be considered at least a part-time job. Highly successful authors spend more time promoting a book than they do writing it - a lot more.
We know what you're thinking. You're an author, not a marketer. Not to worry! We have more than a decade of successful online book selling experience under our belts and we're going to teach you how to promote your book effectively online...and almost all of our techniques are FREE!
Online book promotion is not only simple but, if you have a step-by-step, day-to-day marketing plan (this book!), it can also be a very artistic endeavor, which makes it fun for creative folks like you!
Yes, online book promoting can be EASY and FUN! Let us show you how, from Day 1 through Day 90...and beyond!
The Do-It-Yourselfer's Guide to Self-Syndication
Practical resource outlining the self-syndication process, step-by-step. Packed with detailed information and useful tips for writers looking to gain readership, name recognition, publication and self-syndication for their column or articles.
https://writersweekly.com/books/4693.html
https://writersweekly.com/books/4693.html
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Everyone thinks they are a writer – the proof is in the queries! LOL – NOT!
I find these comments very sad to read. I’ve made my living as a writer for 37 years and shaming beginners in the field, doesn’t help them learn how to really present themselves, it is just cruel.
Thank you for your comments.
37 years ago, nobody had a world of information at their fingertips. A writer had to learn the ropes by finding other, more experienced writers and familiarizing themselves with the “tricks” of the trade. Knowing what one editor was looking for versus another editor – Query vs. full manuscript on spec, into letter and ask for assignment vs. presenting an idea to write about, etc. Today, with the click of a button, I can find out EXACTLY what the GUIDELINES are for almost any publication, what the publication is about, what LANGUAGE I would need to speak and write fluently to even be considered for publication, WHAT the publication is offering to pay, and HOW to get paid by that publication.
What we post here is barely a percentage of the barrage of query emails I wade through weekly. I can tell the difference between someone who is new to the game, eager, and just not fully seasoned in the self-marketing arena – and who is just blasting out emails Willy-Nilly without even so much as an attempt to find the link that is clearly visible at the top of our website, that will tell them everything they need to know for pitching article ideas to us. My time as an editor and Angela’s time as a publisher and business owner are at least of equal value as the time and feelings of these people sending us these emails
If we were posting these queries to “shame” anyone, we would include their names and email addresses. We don’t do that. We post these “worst of the worst” emails to show other novices (and even some experienced writers) what NOT to do when pitching their work. If JUST ONE up-and-coming freelance writer takes but a few extra minutes to review a publication’s guidelines and proof-read their own correspondence after reading our “World’s Worst” column, then we have done a valuable service to the writing community.
Re:queries: Clearly not from native English speakers or readers! Some are amusing, others are just sad and painful. Please to tell me ma’am Angela I am waiting for publishing on your website. Thank you.
Thanks for the laughs.