World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For March, 2021!

World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For March, 2021!

Oh, yes! We know you’re excited!! Today, we’re going to share another installment of our popular column, World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals.

We’ve been savings these for a few weeks now so there are a LOT to entertain you! As always, I’ve saved the best for last!

Featured below are real quotes from query letters and book proposals submitted to us over the past few weeks. Yes, we can learn from others’ mistakes.

In case you’re a new reader, please know that we are a publication about writing and publishing FOR WRITERS. When someone contacts us using our online contact form, directly above that form is a link to our writer’s guidelines, in a very large, bold, red font. The link to our guidelines is also at the top of every page on our website.

FOR THE THOUSANDTH TIME, I AM NOT A SIR!

Sir, i want to write your site in top 10. Sir if you tell me,i write it very quickly.

WELL, AT LEAST YOU GOT MY GENDER RIGHT BUT…

Dear Madam..! I have an researches idea about education systsm…

WOW! HOW DO YOU DO THAT? IS IT LIKE A SHAPESHIFTER TYPE OF EXERIENCE OR WHAT?

I want to become a feature article.

DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO WE ARE???

I am a sex writer in Srilanka I can write to your magazine I can write to the heart of the people Please say are you paid to me and how can I get paid

MUST BE SOMETHING IN THE WATER TODAY…

I was wanting to know if I could see what it would take to get a job? i’d love to be a short story writer. I have a great imagination and love to talk dirty and writing stories. I am great at sex and romance, and love stories.

FIRST, EARNING MONEY IS NOT A “RIGHT.” YOU HAVE TO WORK FOR IT. SECOND, EVERY EDITOR KNOWS THAT A “WRITER” WHO DOESN’T HAVE IDEAS IS NOT A REAL WRITER. REAL WRITERS HAVE MORE IDEAS THAN THEY’LL EVER HAVE TIME TO COVER. 

I am a writer not knowing what to write. I write as a freelancer and yet, do not know what to write. You tell me and let me write. Let me write to earn and earn as my right.

IF YOU’D READ OUR WRITER’S GUIDELINES, YOU’D KNOW THE ANSWER.

When am I supposed to send in my article for publication.

SERIOUSLY?!?! CLICK AND READ!!!

Am a writer, please what is the website all about

WERE YOU PLANNING TO SEND THAT ACTUAL QUERY…OR IS THIS IT?

I have a query about writing articles on marketing secrets…

OUR READERS ARE WRITERS, NOT DEVELOPERS. IF YOU’D BOTHERED TO ACTUALLY LOOK AT OUR HOMEPAGE, YOU’D KNOW THAT.

I want to write for you about the blog which is necessary for all the developers facing issues in the niche technologies.

UM, WHAT???

email me i will sell my books

DOES THIS MEAN YOU DON’T WRITE HUMOR?

My blog is not a joke

WHAT YOU’RE REALLY SAYING IS YOU READ NEWS, AND THEN REWRITE IT. I KNOW THIS BECAUSE A REAL REPORTER WOULD NOT SIT AROUND AND SPAM EDITORS LIKE THIS.

I want to write about the news everyday, and keeping the people of the world informed.

IF YOU’RE A WRITER, SHOULDN’T YOU KNOW HOW TO SPELL THE WORD CORRECTLY?

I like to right in historical way, I often starts with a best quote according to niche.

RESOLVE WITH RESPECT… RESOLVE WITH RESPECT… ARRRGHHH! I CAN’T FIGURE OUT WHAT I’M SUPPOSED TO DO!!

I want to write unique articles and get money for these articles I will be glad if you resolve with respect

HOW ABOUT YOU READ OUR WRITER’S GUIDELINES AND WE CAN MOVE ON FROM THERE?

Good morning, how are you? How to I join and write and get paid?

BRIAN SAYS YOU NEED TO LAND AN ASSIGNMENT BEFORE YOU START DISCUSSING LINKS.

Hi Brian,

I have gone through your guidelines and I would like to confirm with you that my article s will have a lot of reference links, out of which I would just require 1 do-follow link. the other links can be nullified/removed. Also, I am happy to share the links with you that will be used in my article. In the meantime, please find my recent published articles. 

IF YOU CAN’T BE BOTHERED TO RESEARCH OUR PUBLICATION BEFORE CONTACTING US, WE CAN’T BE BOTHERED TO RESPOND TO YOUR EMAIL.

I wants to Write assignments,presentation, Articles Regarding to the field of agriculture and plant protection specially

THERE ARE COUNTLESS BOOKS ON THE MARKET THAT CAN TEACH YOU HOW TO BE A WRITER. I AM FAR TOO BUSY TO TRAIN YOU.

I want to earn my livelihood using this profession. Could you please guide me?

(FINGER HOVERING OVER DELETE KEY. FINGER POUNDING DELETE KEY.)

I would like to share some useful tips of herbs and its amazing properties which can be found locally and the society could get benefit from it.

SOBER UP BEFORE YOU CONTACT EDITORS.

I hav and article to publish

NEVER, EVER, EVER USE TEXTING SHORTHAND WHEN APPROACHING EDITORS! AND, NEVER, EVER, EVER PROMISE NO MISTAKES WHEN YOUR QUERY LETTER IS FULL OF THEM!!

Enthusiastic n energetic freelance content writer n blogger,i am always in ur reach to get quality piece of writing.i am certified creative writer and masters degree holder in english and diploma holder Tefl.so feel free to hire me for quality material without grammatical mistakes.

See more entertaining installments of World’s Worst Book Proposals and Query Letters RIGHT HERE.

Please tell us what you think in the comments box below! 🙂

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Angela Hoy is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, the author of 19 books, and the co-owner of BookLocker.com (one of the original POD publishers that still gets books to market in less than a month), PubPreppers.com (print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish), and Abuzz Press (the publishing co-op that charges no setup fees).

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Abuzz Press offers FAST and FREE book publication, but only accepts a small percentage of submissions, and only works with U.S. authors.

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4 Responses to "World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For March, 2021!"

  1. Linda Jinkens  March 28, 2021 at 10:29 am

    Hi, Angela,

    I enjoy your newsletter a lot. I always learn something. I think these query letters are either from non-English-speaking countries or from people who went through our great public schools. . . .

  2. Donna  March 27, 2021 at 2:32 am

    World’s Worst Query letters are difficult to write. But, some of these are funny. We do learn from others’ mistakes or our own mistakes. I was reading about trout fishing in Oregon. It had the worst grammar on the subject of fishing. I started to laugh thinking why would an editor print a story that had so many errors.

  3. Pamela Allegretto  March 26, 2021 at 1:37 pm

    Have you ever tallied up how much of your valuable time has been spent filtering out these ridiculous queries?

  4. Ann-Louise Truschel  March 26, 2021 at 12:33 pm

    The query letters are always HILARIOUS! Scary, disappointing, but hilarious!