Oh, yes! We know you’re excited!! Today, we’re going to share another installment of our popular column, World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals.
We’ve been savings these for a few weeks now so there are a LOT to entertain you! As always, I’ve saved the best for last!
Featured below are real quotes from query letters and book proposals submitted to us over the past few weeks. Yes, we can learn from others’ mistakes!
In case you’re a new reader, please know that we are a publication about writing and publishing FOR WRITERS. When someone contacts us using our online contact form, directly above that form is a link to our writer’s guidelines, in a very large, bold, red font. The link to our guidelines is also at the top of every page on our website.
Are you ready? ENJOY!
THE 8-WORD QUERY LETTER…
i want to publish my article for earnings
WE RECEIVED AN ARTICLE SUBMITTED ON SPEC TO A PUBLICATION FOR WRITERS. HERE’S THE TITLE:
Fitness watch: Want to live longer? Get your diet right
THE FIRST STEP IS TO LEARN CORRECT PUNCTUATION!
How can I start writing on the sites please guide me for the same
IF YOU CAN’T SPELL ARTICLE CORRECTLY, YOU’RE NOT AN ARTICLE WRITER.
I Want to Write Artical For You.
I erotic intrigue manuscript I m wild t submit 20 page for revel and comment
FIRST, LEARN CORRECT CAPITALIZATION AND SENTENCE STRUCTURE. SECOND, READ OUR WRITER’S GUIDELINES.
i want write articles for you. thanks
BASED ON THE ERRORS IN YOUR VERY SHORT EMAIL, I WON’T EVEN BOTHER LOOKING AT YOUR ARTICLE, WHICH I KNOW WILL BE FULL OF ERRORS AS WELL.
check the docx file. my article will there.
MAYBE BY USING A TIME MACHINE? NOT SURE HOW YOU CAN SEND AN ARTICLE IN THE PAST?
How can I sent you my article?
GOOD FOR YOU! WE ALL FEEL THAT WAY! HOWEVER, JUST SAYING YOU’RE PASSIONATE ABOUT WRITING ISN’T GOING TO GET YOU ANY ASSIGNMENTS. READ THE WRITER’S GUIDELINES!
I am passionate about writing, which allows me to express my view .
NO, YOU HAVEN’T. I DOUBT YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT WE COVER. THIS IS A BLANKET EMAIL THAT LAZY WRITERS SEND TO EDITORS EN MASSE. ALL EDITORS TRASH THESE WITH NO RESPONSE.
I have gone through all it entails to be an article publisher on your site. I’m a writer and I write on all topics and also use SEO very well, I’ll be glad if am given an opportunity to sell my articles here. And also get your approval on writing and getting paid right on this platform.
I’M CONFUSED. DO YOU WANT TO GUIDE US THROUGH THE PROCESS?
Please let me guide with the article writing and its submission process.
How to earn money by writers weekly .com.i want to work.please guid me and give me further details.
AN EMAIL THAT FOLLOWS THE INSTRUCTIONS WE GIVE IN OUR WRITER’S GUIDELINES WOULD BE A GOOD START. YOUR EMAIL WASTED YOUR AND MY TIME SO YOU HAVEN’T BROUGHT US ANYTHING “OF VALUE.” QUITE THE OPPOSITE, IN FACT.
Hope I can bring you something of value
IF YOU ARE NEW TO WRITING, I RECOMMEND READING QUERY LETTERS THAT WORKED. ALSO, YOUR SPACE BAR APPEARS TO BE BROKEN.
I am a student.I am the new comer.And I will try my best for noticing me very well.
ARRRRGHHH!!! READ OUR WRITER’S GUIDELINES!!!
Hi I’m interested. May I join with you
WE ARE NOT INTERESTED IN A LIST OF BOOKS WITH SUMMARIES OF EACH. SOUNDS LIKE A LAZY WRITER’S ARTICLE…WITH SOME COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT THROWN INTO THE MIX.
This article can change the thinking of the readers. In this article I have listed some books with their short summary that will improve the thinking of fellow readers.
IT’S HIGHLY DOUBTFUL THIS PERSON HAS DONE ANYTHING HE/SHE IS CLAIMING BELOW. NOBODY HIRES A WRITER WHOSE SPELLING AND PUNCTUATION ARE THIS BAD. AND, HE/SHE SPELLED MATHEMATICAL WRONG TWICE, AND MATHEMATICS WRONG AS WELL, YET CLAIMS TO HAVE A BLOG ABOUT USING THOSE FORMULAS. FINALLY, WHEN A WRITER CLAIMS THEY CAN WRITE ABOUT “ANYTHING,” THAT’S A CLASSIC SIGN OF AN AMATEUR. EDITORS KNOW THAT.
I create ideas for public relations and media co.panys and marketing companies all the time i have alot skill in writing books or blogs u know about anything. my writing blog is about making more mathmatical styles to marketing like they do with foretelling something or using it to help people win over with a marketing style or statistics with mathmatical styles new forms of math designed specially for marketing things with prices and money ideas with mathmatics…
See more entertaining installments of World’s Worst Book Proposals and Query Letters RIGHT HERE.
Please tell us what you think in the comments box below! 🙂
- Because We Refuse to Buy Bad Articles, Now We’re RACISTS?! by Brian Whiddon, Managing Editor
- Wanna Get Paying Work? An Editor’s Open Letter to New Writers Who Don’t Yet Know What the (Bleep) They’re Doing
- Copies of real query letters that resulted in writing assignments worth $2K and much more!
- If This Article Offends You, You’re Not a Professional Writer
- Can’t Afford An Editor? Try These Four Fun Steps For A Much Cleaner Manuscript!
- More opinionated articles from Angela’s Desk
Have questions about Writing, Print On Demand, or Self-publishing? Ask Angela.
Got questions about Print On Demand and Self-publishing? Ask Angela Hoy.
About The Author
Angela Hoy is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, the author of 19 books, and the co-owner of BookLocker.com (one of the original POD publishers that still gets books to market in less than a month), PubPreppers.com (print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish), and Abuzz Press (the publishing co-op that charges no setup fees).
Angela has lived and traveled across the U.S. with her kids in an RV, settled in a river-side home in Bradenton, FL, and lived on a 52 ft Irwin sailboat. Angela now resides on a mountaintop in Northwest Georgia, where she plans to spend the rest of her days bird watching, gardening, hiking, and taking in all of the amazing sunrises.
WritersWeekly.com - the free marketing ezine for writers, which features new paying markets and freelance job listings every Wednesday.
BookLocker.com - According to attorney Mark Levine, author of The Fine Print, BookLocker is: "As close to perfection as you're going to find in the world of ebook and POD publishing. The ebook royalties are the highest I've ever seen, and the print royalties are better than average. BookLocker understands what new authors experience, and have put together a package that is the best in the business. You can't go wrong here. Plus, they're selective and won't publish any manuscript just because it's accompanied by a check. Also, the web site is well trafficked. If you can find a POD or epublisher with as much integrity and dedication to selling authors' books, but with lower POD publishing fees, please let me know."
Abuzz Press offers FAST and FREE book publication, but only accepts a small percentage of submissions, and only works with U.S. authors.
PubPreppers.com - "We Prep, You Publish!" Print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish. Offers formatting and design services only, and then provides simple instructions for authors on where to sign up to have the print and ebook editions printed/listed/sold. Cut out the middle man. Keep 100% of what bookstores pay for your book!
Angela's POD Secrets Revealed Series can be found HERE.
Have a POD Book with another publisher? See if BookLocker can give you a better deal. (BookLocker offers "disgruntled author discounts" to those who want to move from other POD services.)
See BookLocker's publishing packages HERE.
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Angela is the creator of the Original 24-Hour Short Story Contest!
Read More Of Angela's Articles HERE
90+ DAYS OF PROMOTING YOUR BOOK ONLINE: Your Book's Daily Marketing Plan by Angela Hoy and Richard Hoy
Promoting your book online should be considered at least a part-time job. Highly successful authors spend more time promoting a book than they do writing it - a lot more.
We know what you're thinking. You're an author, not a marketer. Not to worry! We have more than a decade of successful online book selling experience under our belts and we're going to teach you how to promote your book effectively online...and almost all of our techniques are FREE!
Online book promotion is not only simple but, if you have a step-by-step, day-to-day marketing plan (this book!), it can also be a very artistic endeavor, which makes it fun for creative folks like you!
Yes, online book promoting can be EASY and FUN! Let us show you how, from Day 1 through Day 90...and beyond!
The Do-It-Yourselfer's Guide to Self-Syndication
Practical resource outlining the self-syndication process, step-by-step. Packed with detailed information and useful tips for writers looking to gain readership, name recognition, publication and self-syndication for their column or articles.
These recent query letters are hysterical, and a little sad. Are you bald from pulling out your hair as you read them?
Thanks for sharing.
These are hilarious! Thanks for sharing!