Oh, yes! We know you’re excited!! Today, we’re going to share another installment of our popular column, World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals.
We’ve been savings these for a few weeks now so there are a LOT to entertain you! As always, I’ve saved the best for last!
Featured below are real quotes from query letters and book proposals submitted to us over the past few weeks. Yes, we can learn from others’ mistakes.
In case you’re a new reader, please know that we are a publication about writing and publishing FOR WRITERS. When someone contacts us using our online contact form, directly above that form is a link to our writer’s guidelines, in a very large, bold, red font. The link to our guidelines is also at the top of every page on our website.
That’s a heckuva run-on sentence!
Hai mam, hope you fine, iam writing real life stories, incidents, are you accepting those kinds of articles?
This guy must have gone to the same school as the one above.
Hi, I would like to display my words to the world through writers weekly, may I know the subjects, that you prefer the most.
I don’t… I mean… What???
ethnicity, religious faith, this like article’s acceptable
Clearly, this person knows nothing about our website.
Will u accept articles relating to legal subjects?
An eight-word query with no capital letters or punctuation.
yes dear i want to write for you
I don’t know. How did you??
how did i submit my article
I’m a publisher, not a therapist.
I would like to sit down and talk about my life and experiences
It’s Harper Collins and they don’t charge authors a fee to publish a book. So, no, your manuscript was NOT really “approved” by them. I’m surprised you thought someone in the publishing business wouldn’t know that.
This project was approved by Hipper Collins publishing firm since last year but due to finance I have been unable to publish
When they say they want to post with a link, that means they want to put advertorials on our site. I ignore these emails and so do other publishers.
I am a journalist, I write articles about relationships. I would like to cooperate with you. Your website is full of useful information. I have some articles that I would like to post with a link. I think it would be really interesting for your target audience.
If you knew you’d get a rejection, why did you contact us?
Applying for this could deny me a chance to work with you and that’s why I decided to contact you.
We have never published poetry on WritersWeekly. If you were familiar with our publication, you’d know that.
I want to write poems …..
You clearly know nothing about our website so you have wasted your time and mine.
I am interested in publishing articles in your websites related to travel. I would like to give information about the places to visit.
This writer’s confidence might be a bit inflated based on his punctuation skills…or lack thereof.
I want to write for you to earn money am a confident writer
If you bothered to read the top of every page of our website, you’d see a big, bold link to our writer’s guidelines.
How did I submit my article and the article should be on which subject
It’s always a good idea to write something unique. However, reading a publication’s writer’s guidelines (and using correct punctuation!) is always a good idea, too.
I want to write something different from others
When asked why BookLocker should publish his book, this author responded:
“Because I need more money!”
Ha ha ha ha ha!
I have a good experience in copy typing and data managing and eidting
Actually, no, you can’t. And, writers who make that claim are not taken seriously, and always receive rejections.
I can write on any of the topic given.
These spam submissions never work. We are certain hundreds of publications received the exact same email. We ignore them and so does everybody else.
i like to broaden my knowledge through content writing.i think this is the best place.also i can earn. Can i submit the topics that i research on and earn from it?
Another “writer” who knows nothing about our publication.
I wish to published a great article on health. I hope am availed with the opportunity? Thanks in anticipation
Yeah, it’s always a good idea to teach people how to do something for a living that “elevates stress.”
During this very crucial times, I want to help people become more enlightened about how writing can bring in money for them and to even elevate stress.
This query tells me this person is NOT an experienced writer.
i am an experienced writer and read about your website in a article ..i just wish to write for your website
Using texting shorthand is extremely unprofessional.
I would really love to write for u guys.
A five-word query!
Where to submit the article
She needs to brush up on those “skills.”
I need a writing job. I can spend hours for writing . I have skills to write.
Between the errors and the legal risk, we wouldn’t TOUCH this manuscript!!!
i may have problem doing my book. i may not be able to do my book yet till we can figure how. its the information in my book thats not safe . we cant aford to get retaliation with the information i cant publish as of yet. what can i do. i have to ask about our situation
Fishing topics? Really?!
I’m writing to you because I’d love to contribute a guest post on your awesome website. I’ve been brainstorming some Fishing topics that I think your readers would get a ton of value from them.
That’s wonderful! Thank you for letting me know!
I am a writer
For the thousandth time, I am NOT a SIR! And, really? Virginity???
I have studied and researched about various facts regarding virginity . I am a medical student. I want to publish an article about virginity and the social stigmas associated and the experience of people about losing / retaining their virginity .. And does it really matter among people in developing countries.
Wow! I’m out of breath just reading this ginormous run-on sentence!
— I am glad to communicate with you, I would like to publish my articles with you in the fields of stories of hope and success and self-development and highlight the impossible and support young people and motivate them towards production, work and construction..etc;
Um, pretty sure that is NOT the case.
In past all my clients love it my content
No, thank you.
I’m a student but I’m a writer too i am writing a lot of articles ….n i really wanted to work with writers weekly….please give me a chance…
I would never hire a writer who can’t spell “please” correctly.
Hi, my question is how could i post my writings and blogs plz tell with details.my writing will be so helpful plzz answer me i am waiting.
Ha ha ha ha ha! At least he’s honest!!
I’m sorry my manuscript contains so many errors. I’ve been drinking a lot lately.
See more entertaining installments of World’s Worst Book Proposals and Query Letters RIGHT HERE.
Please tell us what you think in the comments box below! 🙂
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- Copies of real query letters that resulted in writing assignments worth $2K and much more!
- If This Article Offends You, You’re Not a Professional Writer
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- More opinionated articles from Angela’s Desk
Have questions about Writing, Print On Demand, or Self-publishing? Ask Angela.
Got questions about Print On Demand and Self-publishing? Ask Angela Hoy.
About The Author
Angela Hoy is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, the author of 19 books, and the co-owner of BookLocker.com (one of the original POD publishers that still gets books to market in less than a month), PubPreppers.com (print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish), and Abuzz Press (the publishing co-op that charges no setup fees).
Angela lives on a 52' Irwin Center Cockpit Ketch (sailboat) with her family and pets. Keep up with her family's adventurous liveaboard lifestyle at GotNoTanLines.com
WritersWeekly.com - the free marketing ezine for writers, which features new paying markets and freelance job listings every Wednesday.
BookLocker.com - According to attorney Mark Levine, author of The Fine Print, BookLocker is: "As close to perfection as you're going to find in the world of ebook and POD publishing. The ebook royalties are the highest I've ever seen, and the print royalties are better than average. BookLocker understands what new authors experience, and have put together a package that is the best in the business. You can't go wrong here. Plus, they're selective and won't publish any manuscript just because it's accompanied by a check. Also, the web site is well trafficked. If you can find a POD or epublisher with as much integrity and dedication to selling authors' books, but with lower POD publishing fees, please let me know."
Abuzz Press offers FAST and FREE book publication, but only accepts a small percentage of submissions, and only works with U.S. authors.
PubPreppers.com - "We Prep, You Publish!" Print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish. Offers formatting and design services only, and then provides simple instructions for authors on where to sign up to have the print and ebook editions printed/listed/sold. Cut out the middle man. Keep 100% of what bookstores pay for your book!
Angela's POD Secrets Revealed Series can be found HERE.
Have a POD Book with another publisher? See if BookLocker can give you a better deal. (BookLocker offers "disgruntled author discounts" to those who want to move from other POD services.)
See BookLocker's publishing packages HERE.
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Angela is the creator of the Original 24-Hour Short Story Contest!
Read More Of Angela's Articles HERE
90+ DAYS OF PROMOTING YOUR BOOK ONLINE: Your Book's Daily Marketing Plan by Angela Hoy and Richard Hoy
Promoting your book online should be considered at least a part-time job. Highly successful authors spend more time promoting a book than they do writing it - a lot more.
We know what you're thinking. You're an author, not a marketer. Not to worry! We have more than a decade of successful online book selling experience under our belts
and we're going to teach you how to promote your book effectively online...and almost all of our techniques are FREE!
Online book promotion is not only simple but, if you have a step-by-step, day-to-day marketing plan (this book!), it can also be a very artistic endeavor,
which makes it fun for creative folks like you!
Yes, online book promoting can be EASY and FUN! Let us show you how, from Day 1 through Day 90...and beyond!
How Many Copies Of Your Book Would You Have To Sell In Order To Break Even?
The Do-It-Yourselfer's Guide to Self-Syndication
Practical resource outlining the self-syndication process, step-by-step. Packed with detailed information and useful tips for writers looking to gain readership, name recognition, publication and self-syndication for their column or articles.