World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For May, 2020!

World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For May, 2020!

Oh, yes! We know you’re excited!! Today, we’re going to share another installment of our popular column, World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals.

We’ve been savings these for a few weeks now so there are a LOT to entertain you! As always, I’ve saved the best for last!

Featured below are real quotes from query letters and book proposals submitted to us over the past few weeks. Yes, we can learn from others’ mistakes.

In case you’re a new reader, please know that we are a publication about writing and publishing FOR WRITERS. When someone contacts us using our online contact form, directly above that form is a link to our writer’s guidelines, in a very large, bold, red font. The link to our guidelines is also at the top of every page on our website.

UM, PRETTY SURE I CAN’T TRUST “ON” YOU…

I am a writer. So you can trust on me.

GREAT, BUT CAN YOU USE CORRECT PUNCTUATION…OR ANY PUNCTUATION AT ALL?

I can type whatever you want

I’M PRETTY SURE THAT THREE-HOUR THING IS AN EXAGGERATION, ESPECIALLY SINCE THIS PERSON SENT THE EXACT SAME EMAIL SEVERAL DAYS IN A ROW. 

I want to use this medium to tell you that I want to submit my article to your site and I did not get or know where to find the submit button. I have tried to find out for complete 3 hours now.

HMMM… WHERE SHOULD I BEGIN?

1. DON’T USE TEXTING SHORTHAND WHEN CONTACTING EDITORS.

2. USE CORRECT SPELLING.

3. WHY WOULD A WRITING-RELATED PUBLICATION BE INTERESTED IN AN ARTICLE ON DEPRESSION?

4. ARE ALL THE PUNCTUATION KEYS ON YOUR KEYBOARD BROKEN?

I want to write short articles 500 words or 600 words if u give me topics Soo I write on more topics (recently I write on this topic depression) if u allow me then I share this topic with u

OKAY…BUT WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU WANT TO WRITE ABOUT, AND HOW WILL IT BENEFIT OUR READERS? 

I want to write for you guys

KINDLY INFORM US WHEN YOU HAVE FINISHED READING OUR WRITER’S GUIDELINES. AND, IS IT JUST ME OR IS THERE AN EPIDEMIC OF BROKEN PUNCTUATION KEYS???

kindly inform me when am I supposed to be given an assignment

I DO NOT RESPOND TO FORM-DRIVEN PITCHES LIKE THIS WHETHER THERE ARE GRAMMAR PROBLEMS OR NOT.

WritersWeekly.com is best WebSite I want Article writing and guide me.

WELL, FIRST YOU READ SOME BOOKS ON HOW TO WRITE CORRECTLY. THEN, YOU INVESTIGATE WHY YOUR (AND APPARENTLY MOST OTHER PEOPLE’S) PUNCTUATION KEYS ARE NOT WORKING!
How can I write good articles that can be approved by any website

IGNORING HER OBVIOUS USE OF A NON-EXISTENT WORD, THIS IS AN EXTREMELY UNPROFESSIONAL PITCH. SHE IS BASICALLY ADMITTING THAT HER WRITING IS BAD. 

Hello, I would like to know if the pay is guaranteed wheater you like the writing or not.

PRETTY SURE YOU ARE NOT REALLY A TEACHER. IF YOU ARE, I’M GLAD MY CHILD ISN’T IN YOUR CLASS. 

I am a teacher and expert writing article

WELL, AREN’T WE FULL OF OURSELVES TODAY?!

i will give you service and you will pay for it

I KNOW THAT MOST WRITERS ENJOY READING THEIR OWN WORK BUT “EUPHORIA” IS A BIT OF A STRETCH. 

I want to write on your website . And you can see my blog I have given my site . And also I want to write because of my euphoria . 

THE SITE IS WRITERSWEEKLY. YOU GOT IT BACKWARDS. AND, I CAN’T HIRE WRITERS WHO DON’T KNOW HOW TO USE CORRECT PUNCTUATION. 

How can I make money on weekly writers with my stories and article, I want to know

I’M SO EXHAUSTED AFTER READING THIS RUN-ON SENTENCE THAT I CAN’T FIND THE ENERGY TO RESPOND TO THE WRITER. 

How do I get started with your website with respect to your topics deadlines for submission criteria for writing who am I to direct the article to after writing and how soon do I get paid after finish writing.

WELL, IF YOU READ OUR WRITER’S GUIDELINES, AND FOLLOWED THE INSTRUCTIONS THEREIN, THAT WOULD HAVE “PROVEN” YOU CAN AT LEAST FOLLOW DIRECTIONS. 

I want to write article.Please give me the option, so i can prove myself.

YOUR SPACE BAR IS ON THE BLINK….BUT ONLY WHEN YOU TRY TO USE IT BETWEEN SENTENCES. AND, THEN THERE ARE THE PUNCTUATION AND SPELLING ERRORS SO…NO THANK YOU.
I am a freelancing writer,l.I am interested to submit an article.This article contains 531 words and have details about 2 platforms which helps writers to earn money through there writing skills

IT’S RIGHT THERE ON OUR WEBSITE IN BLACK AND WHITE (WITH SOME BLUE THROWN IN AS WELL). PLEASE READ OUR WRITER’S GUIDELINES. 

Just want to know how it works

ANOTHER VICTIM OF SPACE BAR FAILURE. AND, PLEASE DO NOT TELL EDITORS YOU ARE “GOOD IN ENGLISH” WHEN IT’S OBVIOUS YOU ARE NOT. 

I can write article about any topic you provide.Iam good in english currently iam doing my diploma studies.

SHWEW! I’M GLAD IT’S OKAY! I WAS STARTING TO GET WORRIED AND I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WHY!! 

Hello, it’s okay, I’m Brazilian, I’m getting in touch, because I’m interested in working with you writing articles.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! (We’re not THAT type of publication.)

I penned down an article and I would like it to be punished if you like it.

See more entertaining installments of World’s Worst Book Proposals and Query Letters RIGHT HERE.

Please tell us what you think in the comments box below! 🙂

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5 Responses to "World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For May, 2020!"

  1. Kounj  June 2, 2020 at 7:20 am

    I’m doubling over in laughter at the last one. Thank you for sharing this.

  2. Cheryl Tuskes  May 9, 2020 at 9:03 pm

    This really made my day. Thanks!

  3. Pamela Allegretto  May 8, 2020 at 2:51 pm

    Thank you. We need all the humor we can get. Cheers!

  4. Wendy Jones  May 8, 2020 at 1:12 am

    Egad!
    Alright, it is obvious that most of the queries are from non-native English speakers. If, on the other hand, they aren’t — then these folks are beyond hopeless!
    It amazes me that something written so badly doesn’t simply ‘jump up and bite them’.
    These letters are always funny and I look forward to reading them.

  5. Kurt Nemes  May 7, 2020 at 5:59 pm

    Thank you for publishing these bad query letters. They gave me a chuckle and made my day.