World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For August, 2019!

World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For August, 2019!

Oh, yes! We know you’re excited!! Today, we’re going to share another installment of our popular column, World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals.

Featured below are real quotes from query letters and book proposals submitted to us over the past few weeks. Yes, we can learn from others’ mistakes. And, of course, I save the best one for last!

In case you’re a new reader, please know that we are a publication about writing and publishing FOR WRITERS. When someone contacts us using our online contact form, directly above that form is a link to our writer’s guidelines, in a very large, bold, red font. The link to our guidelines is also at the top of every page on our website.

A FIVE WORD QUERY COMPLETELY DEVOID OF PUNCTUATION:

To write articles for publishers

ONE SHOULD NEVER QUERY AFTER DRINKING TOO MUCH COFFEE.

I would like to participate in the writing and get paid for it,o don’t know much about how this works but would love to get paid for why I write …

THIS IS THE SECOND “FREE WRITER” WE HAVE HEARD FROM. WHAT IS THAT? AND, WHY WOULD I WANT TO WORK WITH SOMEONE WHOSE WRITING WILL OBVIOUSLY NEED TONS OF EDITING?

Granted as a free writer my knowledge of correct technique in grammar and punctuation is limited.

FIRST, READ OUR WRITER’S GUIDELINES. SECOND, READ YOUR QUERY BEFORE SUBMITTING…AND THEN READ IT AGAIN. 

Hello. I really interested in sharing my vivid imagination. I know that I can put out some interesting page turners.

YOU WANT TO GET WHAT EXACTLY? AND, WE DON’T PUBLISH POETRY. 

I love to write i am a poet and i want to get for doing the writing

IF SOMEONE TRULY WANTS TO BE SUCCESSFUL AT GETTING WORK, THEY WILL RESEARCH A COMPANY BEFORE APPROACHING THEM. 

I want to work. How you can give me work.

THE SHORTEST QUERY WE’VE EVER RECEIVED! OF COURSE, WE DID NOT RESPOND. 

No questions.

IF YOU CAN LEARN CORRECT SPACING AND PUNCTUATION, AND READ OUR GUIDELINES, WE’LL BE HAPPY TO TALK TO YOU. 

How can I be part of the team ? I mean the writers team

ALWAYS READ A PUBLICATION’S WRITER’S GUIDELINES BEFORE CONTACTING THEM. THERE IS A LINK TO OURS ON THE TOP OF EVERY PAGE ON OUR WEBSITE. 

How can I get an article assigned for me to write?

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN FASTER TO CLICK ON OUR WRITER’S GUIDELINES LINK THAN IT WAS TO SEND US THIS EMAIL. 

I have heard from other sources that you give some amount if someone submits an article. If this is the case, then I must wait for your submission policy in detail.

I DON’T CO-AUTHOR ARTICLES. OH, DID YOU MEAN WEBSITE??? PLEASE USE CORRECT PUNCTUATION WHEN CONTACTING EDITORS, AND USE THE CORRECT TERMINOLOGY AS WELL. 

i”ll like to write for your article

WHAT WORDS? WHAT WORDS?! I HAVE TO RESPOND ASAP BUT YOU HAVEN’T TOLD ME WHAT YOU WANT!!!

So Please know me your words ASAP…

PLEASE DON’T WASTE YOUR AND ANYONE ELSE’S TIME BY SENDING POINTLESS QUERIES LIKE THIS ONE.

I want to ask that we can write on any topic we want or there is a specific topic. Please answer me so that I can start it quickly.

WHILE IT’S INTERESTING SHE PUT THE NAME OF OUR PUBLICATION IN HER QUERY, IT’S OBVIOUS SHE KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT US. I DO NOT RESPOND TO THESE TYPES OF QUERIES. 

I wanna write at writers weekly please tell me something about it , I mean how to write on it

UM, WHAT???

I’ve 3 article for you, I’m wondering to know for submitting my article or there is another way?

THIS QUERY LETTER INSPIRES ZERO CONFIDENCE IN THIS PERSON’S ABILITY TO WRITE.

Hi there I’m an author writer into writing any piece that worthwhile reading. Check my book 1 here

YES, THOUSANDS OF WRITERS WANT TO SELL THEIR ARTICLES. BUT, EXACTLY WHAT DO YOU WANT TO WRITE ABOUT AND CAN YOU PLEASE USE CORRECT CAPITALIZATION AND SPELLING?

hello, please i want to sell my articles

THIS WAS THE THIRD EMAIL WE RECEIVED FROM A WRITER PITCHING ARTICLES ON STEM CELLS, CANCER, AND PERIODONTAL DISEASES. IF HE CAN’T BE BOTHERED TO RESEARCH OUR PUBLICATION, WE CAN’T BE BOTHERED TO RESPOND TO HIS STRING OF EMAILS. 

Are you interested or not?? Please know me ASAP…

AFTER TELLING AN AUTHOR HIS BOOK CONTAINED TOO MANY ERRORS, AND THAT PUBLISHING SUCH A BOOK WILL HARM HIS AND OUR REPUTATIONS:

Please, just go ahead and publish it. I need it back on the market.

(WE DECLINED, OF COURSE!)

See more entertaining installments of World’s Worst Book Proposals and Query Letters RIGHT HERE.

Please tell us what you think in the comments box below! 🙂

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Angela Hoy is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, the author of 19 books, and the co-owner of BookLocker.com (one of the original POD publishers that still gets books to market in less than a month), PubPreppers.com (print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish), and Abuzz Press (the publishing co-op that charges no setup fees).

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5 Responses to "World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For August, 2019!"

  1. Cora  August 23, 2019 at 7:36 am

    I truly hope none of these are from those whose first language is English!

  2. Jennifer Lincoln  August 9, 2019 at 1:56 pm

    Angela,
    Please tell me you made these query letters up, please, please, please!

    • By Angela Hoy - Publisher of WritersWeekly.com  August 10, 2019 at 11:05 am

      No, I did not. 🙂

      Angela Hoy, Publisher
      WritersWeekly.com

  3. Cheryl Tuskes  August 9, 2019 at 9:13 am

    This always makes my day. Thanks Angela!

  4. Sharon  August 9, 2019 at 8:55 am

    I have shared some of these querys with the members of Abilene Writers Guild to remind them why I preach so often about carefully reading rules and guidelines for contests and other submissions!