It’s that time again!! The non-sensical emails with off topic pitches, badly worded questions, and meaningless statements keep rolling in. Today, we’re going to share another installment of our popular column, World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals.

We’ve been saving these for a few weeks now so there are a LOT to entertain you! As always, we’ve saved the best for last!

Featured below are real quotes from query letters and book proposals submitted to us over the past few weeks. Yes, we can learn from others’ mistakes!

In case you’re a new reader, please know that we are a publication about writing and publishing FOR WRITERS. When someone contacts us using our online contact form, directly above that form is a link to our writer’s guidelines, in a very large, bold, red font. The link to our guidelines is also at the top of every page on our website.

Are you ready? ENJOY!

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I know you wrote not to write this, but I want to write for you.

So, you read our writer’s guidelines…and you chose to not follow them? DELETE.

hello, so I was wondering where to publish my article? through the email that is in the website?

Either the Shift key on your keyboard is broken or you don’t know how to use correct capitalization. I’m betting it’s the latter.

May I please publish an article for people to enjoy and read.

May you please READ OUR WRITER’S GUIDELINES to avoid wasting your time and mine?

I am Writters best Out line and better quality best design I will creative

Yoda is at it again!!!

What can I do ?

That’s a good question. Since I don’t know you, nor nothing about you, I can’t answer your question. DELETE

I’m a article writer i want to post article on your website please guide me next step so I can post article

If you can’t use correct punctuation and capitalization, we can’t work with you.

I took this writers about business and when will I get money

You won’t be getting any money from anybody with “queries” like this!

I want to earn by writing a article

Lots of writers do! Fortunately, many know correct grammar and punctuation. Those are the ones we respond to.

I’m a very hardworking person and will love to make you happy

If your syntax and punctuation were correct, I’d be very happy. But, you did not. And, since you clearly didn’t read our guidelines, I’m NOT happy.

I am contacting about writing article

Contacting…who???

I want to know how to get hired, and get paid to write

Buy and read this book: QUERY LETTERS THAT WORKED! Real Queries That Landed $2K+ Writing Assignments – SECOND EDITION

I wondered if you could look at my article and give me feedback

That’s what online writing groups are for. Never, EVER ask an editor or publisher to “give you feedback” on an article you clearly did not write specifically for them.

I want to be author and write articles and story

You’re not going to be successful in the English-language market. I recommend contacting publications that publish in your native language. And, learn correct punctuation.

I wanna write it here.

Write what? What do you wanna write???

Can I join this month.

WritersWeekly is a free publication. You don’t need to “join” anything (you don’t even need to subscribe) to read THE ENTIRE WEBSITE.

Doresc sa scriu articole

My answer: Ma angajezi sa scriu un articol???

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See more entertaining installments of World’s Worst Book Proposals and Query Letters RIGHT HERE.

Please tell us what you think in the comments box below! 🙂

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• Copies of real query letters that resulted in writing assignments worth $2K and much more!
• If This Article Offends You, You’re Not a Professional Writer
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Have questions about Writing, Print On Demand, or Self-publishing? Ask Angela.