I was camping last weekend as part of my search and rescue training. In the trailer, there’s a small, portable toilet – the kind you use on smaller boats and, of course, in small campers or trailers. After you finish your business, you stand up, lean over, pull the little handle in the front to open the hole thingymabob, and then push down on the bubble-looking gizmo to rinse out the potty.
I’d previously used that toilet several times without incident. However, last weekend, due to warm weather, high humidity, Mercury in retrograde, movement of the Earth’s magnetic pole, or just plain karma for something I naughty did or said, I found myself on the receiving end of an instant yellow shower.
I finished my business, yanked up my camouflage pants, turned around, bent over, pulled the handle thing out, and was rewarded by a HUGE splash of pee all over my face, my mouth, my hair, my shoulders, my chest, my arms, and even in my eyes. (I must have drank a LOT of coffee that morning!)
With an almost silent yelp (because I was afraid to open my mouth!), I jumped back. I do not believe I have ever been so surprised in my entire life! With my eyes still closed, I reached up onto the shelf and blindly fumbled for the baby wipes. After thoroughly washing my mouth first, then my eyelids, and then my face, I bent over again, pumped the bubble gizmo, rinsed out the potty, and then immediately grabbed my toiletry bag and headed to the camp shower.
It’s been six days now and I still feel gross.
Lesson learned? Pull on the handle just a tiny bit, and very slowly, to break the suction before
going for the full flush.
I won’t make THAT mistake again!
DON’T FORGET! The WritersWeekly Spring, 2019 24-Hour Short Story is only 9 days away! There’s a limit of 500 participants so don’t delay if you want to play!
1st Place: $300
2nd Place: $250
3rd Place: $200
+ 80 other prizes!
Read more RIGHT HERE.
- For Me, Volunteer Search and Rescue Training is Like a Really Serious Easter Egg Hunt. Here’s How YOU Can Do It, Too!
- Amputees Are Usually Left for Dead … and Other Secrets I Learned in Search and Rescue Training!
- Sitting on a Bucking Bronco Toilet!
- ALERT – Dirty Fingernails on the Keyboard!
- Camping For Boys = Quiet Writing Time For Me!
Angela Hoy lives on a mountain in North Georgia. She is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, the President and CEO of BookLocker.com and AbuzzPress, and the author of 24 books.
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Angela is the creator of the Original 24-Hour Short Story Contest!
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Yikes! You life is never boring!
Oh Yuck Angela ,,,, still I have to laugh 😉
In our factory in Long Beach CA years ago the city workers would, fro time to time, pressure blast the sewer system. Nasty but not too much of a problem when they did it at night and you got the surprise in the morning. But one afternoon around 3pm they did it without warning. (They never gave any warning)
Our packing girl was on the pot after a bad bout with diarrhea when she got the geyser treatment. Yep, covered from head to toe and we had no shower on site.