Oh, yes! We know you’re excited!! Today, we’re going to share another installment of our popular column, World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals.
We’ve been savings these for a few weeks now so there are a LOT to entertain you! As always, I’ve saved the best for last!
Featured below are real quotes from query letters and book proposals submitted to us over the past few weeks. Yes, we can learn from others’ mistakes!
In case you’re a new reader, please know that we are a publication about writing and publishing FOR WRITERS. When someone contacts us using our online contact form, directly above that form is a link to our writer’s guidelines, in a very large, bold, red font. The link to our guidelines is also at the top of every page on our website.
Are you ready? ENJOY!
HOW CAN YOU WORK FOR ME WHEN YOU CLEARLY DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT WE DO?!
I am here to work with you.
COLLABORATE ON WHAT EXACTLY?
It will be my pleasure if we collaborate
IT’S EASY! CLICK ON THAT LINK ON THE TOP OF EVERY PAGE ON OUR WEBSITE THAT SAYS, “WRITE FOR US!”
how to submit articles to the writersweekly website??
I’M BREATHLESS AFTER READING THIS HORRIBLE RUN-ON SENTENCE!
Yes I have tons of awesome hype and smart equiped articles and blogs ideas for you guys as well as website blogging ideas that could make your website make tons of profit that could create more attention and or ways you can get new visitors every week by my ideas for your website
WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD A PUBLICATION COVERING WRITING AND PUBLISHING BE INTERESTED IN THAT?!
article title: Tips on Red Palm Oil Business
THE SIX-WORD QUERY!
article writing used in the world
IF YOU DON’T KNOW CORRECT GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION, I CAN’T WORK WITH YOU.
Writing and blogging is what I’m passionate about .so ,here my article for yours platform.
KIND OF PRESUMPTUOUS, DON’T YOU THINK? HOW ABOUT YOU READ OUR WRITER’S GUIDELINES BEFORE SENDING ME A NON-SENSICAL EMAIL?
I will send my article in your mail id .please reply my article accepted or not ?
ME, TOO!! WE ALL DO!!!
I want work and Earn
NOT ONLY WOULD I NOT PUBLISH THIS ARTICLE BUT I CAN’T IMAGINE ANY MAGAZINE WANTING TO PUBLISH JUST A DESCRIPTION OF A TYPE OF CANCER!
Cervical cancer general description
YOU SURE CAN! HOW ABOUT READING OUR WRITER’S GUIDELINES BEFORE YOU DO THAT?
Can I pitch original articles??
PRETTY SURE THAT’S A LIE…
i experience every type of writing work
ARRRGHH!! READ OUR WRITER’S GUIDELINES!!!
How do I proceed in my application to become a writer with your establishment?
THIS IS YOUR FIRST EMAIL TO ME? SERIOUSLY??
After how many hours i receive my payment?
YOU CLEARLY DIDN’T RESEARCH THE MARKET AND YOU ARE SPAMMING EDITORS, WASTING YOUR TIME AND OURS. SHAME ON YOU.
How to eat 1,000 calories a day to jump start your diet!
I GUARANTEE THAT YOU CAN’T.
I can give best article to our website
YOUR CAPITALIZATION AND PUNCTUATION ERRORS HAVE ALREADY LET ME DOWN.
I have writing potential with overwhelmed varieties of topics to write on.if you give me a chance to test me i’m sure i will not let yoy down!
REPEATING ONESELF REPEATEDLY IS A REPEATING ERROR WE SEE OFTEN IN REPITITIOUS QUERY LETTERS.
I am a writer. I was trying to apply for a job at Writer’s Weekly and I was asking how I do apply for a job at Writer’s Weekly.
STOP APPROACHING EDITORS UNTIL YOU’VE READ SOME BOOKS ON HOW TO APPROACH EDITORS.
Hello, I was searching for a website where I could write for others, and by writing, I could earn. I saw your website name in an article, so now I am writing to you. I would like to know that if I start writing here, on this website, what will be the process of it? How will I gain subscribers and how can I start getting paid for it? I would also like to know can I write stories on my own and get paid for it? I am still new in the field, so I would like it if you could help me. These will be the questions I would like to know for now.
WE ARE OFTEN APPROACHED BY PEOPLE CLAIMING TO HAVE IMPRESSIVE DEGREES. AND, WHILE THOSE DEGREES MAY OR MAY NOT EXIST, THE FACT THAT THE DEGREED INDIVIDUAL DIDN’T READ OUR WRITER’S GUIDELINES RENDERS THAT DEGREE WORTHLESS TO US.
I have a Masters degree from Harvard and I would like to be a writer. I enjoy writing!
IF YOU CAN’T SPELL POETRY, YOU DEFINITELY SHOULDN’T BE WRITING IT!
Can I submit poetries
See more entertaining installments of World’s Worst Book Proposals and Query Letters RIGHT HERE.
Please tell us what you think in the comments box below! 🙂
- Because We Refuse to Buy Bad Articles, Now We’re RACISTS?! by Brian Whiddon, Managing Editor
- Wanna Get Paying Work? An Editor’s Open Letter to New Writers Who Don’t Yet Know What the (Bleep) They’re Doing
- Copies of real query letters that resulted in writing assignments worth $2K and much more!
- If This Article Offends You, You’re Not a Professional Writer
- Can’t Afford An Editor? Try These Four Fun Steps For A Much Cleaner Manuscript!
- More opinionated articles from Angela’s Desk
Have questions about Writing, Print On Demand, or Self-publishing? Ask Angela.
Got questions about Print On Demand and Self-publishing? Ask Angela Hoy.
About The Author
Angela Hoy is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, the author of 19 books, and the co-owner of BookLocker.com (one of the original POD publishers that still gets books to market in less than a month), PubPreppers.com (print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish), and Abuzz Press (the publishing co-op that charges no setup fees).
Angela has lived and traveled across the U.S. with her kids in an RV, settled in a river-side home in Bradenton, FL, and lived on a 52 ft Irwin sailboat. Angela now resides on a mountaintop in Northwest Georgia, where she plans to spend the rest of her days bird watching, gardening, hiking, and taking in all of the amazing sunrises.
WritersWeekly.com - the free marketing ezine for writers, which features new paying markets and freelance job listings every Wednesday.
BookLocker.com - According to attorney Mark Levine, author of The Fine Print, BookLocker is: "As close to perfection as you're going to find in the world of ebook and POD publishing. The ebook royalties are the highest I've ever seen, and the print royalties are better than average. BookLocker understands what new authors experience, and have put together a package that is the best in the business. You can't go wrong here. Plus, they're selective and won't publish any manuscript just because it's accompanied by a check. Also, the web site is well trafficked. If you can find a POD or epublisher with as much integrity and dedication to selling authors' books, but with lower POD publishing fees, please let me know."
Abuzz Press offers FAST and FREE book publication, but only accepts a small percentage of submissions, and only works with U.S. authors.
PubPreppers.com - "We Prep, You Publish!" Print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish. Offers formatting and design services only, and then provides simple instructions for authors on where to sign up to have the print and ebook editions printed/listed/sold. Cut out the middle man. Keep 100% of what bookstores pay for your book!
Angela's POD Secrets Revealed Series can be found HERE.
Have a POD Book with another publisher? See if BookLocker can give you a better deal. (BookLocker offers "disgruntled author discounts" to those who want to move from other POD services.)
See BookLocker's publishing packages HERE.
ANGELA ON TWITTER https://twitter.com/AngelaHoy
BOOKLOCKER ON FACEBOOK - Provides links to free excerpts!
ANGELA ON FACEBOOK
ANGELA ON LINKEDIN
Angela is the creator of the Original 24-Hour Short Story Contest!
Read More Of Angela's Articles HERE
90+ DAYS OF PROMOTING YOUR BOOK ONLINE: Your Book's Daily Marketing Plan by Angela Hoy and Richard Hoy
Promoting your book online should be considered at least a part-time job. Highly successful authors spend more time promoting a book than they do writing it - a lot more.
We know what you're thinking. You're an author, not a marketer. Not to worry! We have more than a decade of successful online book selling experience under our belts and we're going to teach you how to promote your book effectively online...and almost all of our techniques are FREE!
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How Many Copies Of Your Book Would You Have To Sell In Order To Break Even?