World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For November, 2020!

World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For November, 2020!

Oh, yes! We know you’re excited!! Today, we’re going to share another installment of our popular column, World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals.

We’ve been savings these for a few weeks now so there are a LOT to entertain you! As always, I’ve saved the best for last!

Featured below are real quotes from query letters and book proposals submitted to us over the past few weeks. Yes, we can learn from others’ mistakes.

In case you’re a new reader, please know that we are a publication about writing and publishing FOR WRITERS. When someone contacts us using our online contact form, directly above that form is a link to our writer’s guidelines, in a very large, bold, red font. The link to our guidelines is also at the top of every page on our website.

Well, I’m pretty sure that means you’re not a good fit for us…
I want to write a review paper but I did not understand how to write… I dont have an idea about this

As soon as you read our writer’s guidelines, send us a proper query, and receive an assignment!
When can i get started writing my article

If you’re contacting a writing- and publishing-related website about an article on quantum physics, you are NOT a professional writer. 
I’m a professional writer and I’ll like to collaborate with your site writing articles on quantum physics news & related issues.

1. Fix your spell-check. 2. Buy a book on how to land writing assignments
I hope youre doing well I would love to start writing articles and get paid but I dont know what it takes to start, I was kindly requesting for your guidance  Thank you goodevening

In this industry, a question is NOT a query. 
My query is, how do I start writing for your organization?

The topic “online” is pretty broad, don’tcha think? 
I had already sent you an email based on the topic “online”. Please see it and give my topic for writing.

I never like pushy people who automatically assume I will hire them just because they send me an email. 
I would like to get paid for writing articles as I have brilliant ideas whilst the ample amount of quarantine time I have. I have my personal blog site, please contact me through my mail and let’s get ahead with the procedure.

That’s a very good question! Did you have an article idea in mind or are you just asking a random stranger (me) for personal advice?
How can I live my life, being happy, successful and guiding others?

After you read our guidelines, send in a proper query, receive an assignment from us, and learn how to spell the word send
When can I sent my article?

Why in the world would a writing- and publishing-related website be interested in these topics? 
I would like to pitch the topic of Sexism In Bollywood movies with different periods and Evolution of education system.

I’m interested to know why your email program doesn’t have a spell-check function. 
Im interesyed to write articles with you.

Why is he yelling at me???
SO I SEND YOU ARTICLE
I HAVE ARTICLES FOR YOU
I AM WAITING FOR YOUR POSITIVE RESPONSE

I actually get a very good idea about someone’s writing style when they send in a REAL query letter!
I will share my articles with you so that you get a hint of how I write

I don’t even know what this means but I feel sorry for her all the same.
I am a false-positive dreamer

If you were that creative, you’d have created an article idea, and sent in a query letter…per our guidelines. 
I am a creative writer and I am willing to work

Our payment amounts and details are in our writer’s guidelines. 
If my article you selected then where from i the next procedures and payment details…

Professional writers never approach publications in this manner. 
I am a professional writer having experience over two years. I want to write articles for you , I am waiting for your response.

Um, what???
i no questions or any problem I’m happy for this arrangement in trade trust that you’ll hold up your end of your baron with the pay and with my valuable bank account.

For the last time, I am NOT A SIR! And, artifacts are for archeology magazines!!
Hello sir,
i write some ARTICLE for one website i will send you link under it now i want write artifacts for your website if you allow me

Gosh, I’ve never done that. I know you need some ropes, some clip thingies, and an actual mountain, right? 
How to summit ?

See more entertaining installments of World’s Worst Book Proposals and Query Letters RIGHT HERE.

Please tell us what you think in the comments box below! 🙂

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Angela Hoy is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, the author of 19 books, and the co-owner of BookLocker.com (one of the original POD publishers that still gets books to market in less than a month), PubPreppers.com (print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish), and Abuzz Press (the publishing co-op that charges no setup fees).

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8 Responses to "World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For November, 2020!"

  1. Cheryl Tuskes  November 15, 2020 at 9:56 pm

    Thanks Angela. Very entertaining as always.

    Reply
  2. Pamela Allegretto  November 13, 2020 at 2:00 pm

    Funny, but kind of sad. I hope these poor souls have good day jobs.

    Reply
  3. Susan Grillo  November 13, 2020 at 12:47 pm

    It’s hard to believe that these comments were submitted. I’ve read that agents receive poorly written queries often but I never realized how bad they were.

    Reply
  4. Wendy Jones  November 12, 2020 at 11:31 pm

    Every time I see one of these installments, I get the impression that the majority of these queries are from non-native English speaking people. It is hard to imagine that a native speaker would write so poorly.

    Reply
    • joe sixpak  November 13, 2020 at 9:41 am

      Not hard at all. Most Americans who are native speakers have real problems writing as well as thinking logically.

      Reply
  5. Cindy Gallagher  November 12, 2020 at 4:06 pm

    “If my article you selected then where from i the next procedures and payment details…”

    I think that one was from Yoda…

    Reply
    • By Angela Hoy - Publisher of WritersWeekly.com  November 12, 2020 at 7:35 pm

      HA HA HA HA HA! I think you’re right!!!

      Reply
  6. Tatiana Claudy  November 12, 2020 at 1:08 pm

    Thank you so much! I especially love your answer to the “summit” question!

    Reply

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