World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For March, 2018!

World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For March, 2018!

Oh, yes! We know you’re excited!! Today, we’re going to share another installment of our popular column, World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals.

Featured below are real quotes from query letters and book proposals submitted to us over the past few weeks.

Yes, we can learn from others’ mistakes!

In case you’re a new reader, please know that we are a publication about writing and publishing FOR WRITERS. When someone contacts us using our online contact form, directly above that form is a link to our writer’s guidelines, in a very large, red font. See if you recognize the themes below.


DOES SHE WANT US TO SEND HER A FUNNY COMMENT?

I am interested in writing and sending you weekly articles of any topic you provide me wit.

 

WHY WOULD OUR READERS, WHO ARE WRITERS, BE INTERESTED IN THESE ARTICLES?

I’ve been brainstorming some bathroom organizing and storage space ideas and guest post titled something like that would be a good fit for your site.

 

A HARD WORKING WRITER USES PUNCTUATION!

Will my hard work be rewarded

 

ME, TOO! BUT, I KNOW THAT EARNING ADDITIONAL WRITING INCOME REQUIRES MORE THAN A GENERIC, 8-WORD QUERY.

I would like to have an additional income!

 

THIS PERSON INCLUDED ALL THEIR BANK ACCOUNT INFO. VIA EMAIL, INCLUDING ACCOUNT AND ROUTING NUMBERS.

respected mam

you choose articles and pay the ones which are original. this story is real and genune (article-attached herein). please accept it and send me the payment according to the given rules of your publication.would love to accept whatever payment you feel deserving for me.

thanking you

 

IT REALLY SUCKS WHEN THE SHIFT KEY ON YOUR COMPUTER DOESN’T WORK, RIGHT? APPARENTLY, HIS QUESTION MARK KEY IS ON THE FRITZ AS WELL.

respected sir/ma,

i want to submit an article via mail in your magazine. please check it out. will i get paid if its acceptable and publishable.

 

ANOTHER POOR VICTIM OF THE DEAD SHIFT KEY. AND, THIS QUERY (AS WELL AS OTHERS FEATURED HERE) IS VERY UNPROFESSIONAL.

hey, i am penning down to you,because i want to get my work published on writers weekly,the question is that will you publish it under my name ?

 

A WRITER BASICALLY? WOULDN’T A PROFESSIONAL WRITER KNOW HOW TO USE CORRECT PUNCTUATION AND CAPITALIZATION?

Wanna earn through writing an article, I am a writer basically, so i want to make cash of my skills
Please drive me a way to do so

 

PROFESSIONAL WRITERS KNOW HOW TO SPELL ARTICLE!

where can i write the articals

 

IF YOU CAN’T SPELL WRITING, YOU SHOULD REALLY LOOK FOR ANOTHER LINE OF WORK.

hello, my name is leslie an di was wondering about the writting job,
and how does it work. if i could get more information that would be great
thankyou.

 

A RUN-ON SENTENCE LIKE THIS DESERVES A PERIOD AT THE END, DON’TCHA THINK?

I have tremendous interest in writing, so I would like to articles for you, so please tell me the procedure how to send it

 

IF HE KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT WRITERSWEEKLY, HE’D KNOW THAT WE NEVER, EVER PUBLISH HORROR AND THRILLERS.

I wanna work with “writersweekly” with my best thriller & horror story plots.

 

GROWN UP “FREELACE” JOB? WHAT IS THAT?!

I want to tell my story, and my methods, how persons shoud use own sources and methods to grown up freelace job.

 

See more entertaining installments of World’s Worst Book Proposals and Query Letters RIGHT HERE.

 

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Got questions about Print On Demand and Self-publishing? Ask Angela Hoy.



About The Author

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Angela Hoy is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, the author of 19 books, and the co-owner of BookLocker.com (one of the original POD publishers that still gets books to market in less than a month), PubPreppers.com (print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish), and Abuzz Press (the publishing co-op that charges no setup fees).

Angela lives on a 52' Irwin Center Cockpit Ketch (sailboat) with her family and pets. Keep up with her family's adventurous liveaboard lifestyle at GotNoTanLines.com

WritersWeekly.com - the free marketing ezine for writers, which features new paying markets and freelance job listings every Wednesday.

BookLocker.com - According to attorney Mark Levine, author of The Fine Print, BookLocker is: "As close to perfection as you're going to find in the world of ebook and POD publishing. The ebook royalties are the highest I've ever seen, and the print royalties are better than average. BookLocker understands what new authors experience, and have put together a package that is the best in the business. You can't go wrong here. Plus, they're selective and won't publish any manuscript just because it's accompanied by a check. Also, the web site is well trafficked. If you can find a POD or epublisher with as much integrity and dedication to selling authors' books, but with lower POD publishing fees, please let me know."

Abuzz Press offers FAST and FREE book publication, but only accepts a small percentage of submissions, and only works with U.S. authors.

PubPreppers.com - "We Prep, You Publish!" Print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish. Offers formatting and design services only, and then provides simple instructions for authors on where to sign up to have the print and ebook editions printed/listed/sold. Cut out the middle man. Keep 100% of what bookstores pay for your book!

Angela's POD Secrets Revealed Series can be found HERE.

Have a POD Book with another publisher? See if BookLocker can give you a better deal. (BookLocker offers "disgruntled author discounts" to those who want to move from other POD services.)

See BookLocker's publishing packages HERE.

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3 Responses to "World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For March, 2018!"

  1. Margaret Garside  March 2, 2018 at 4:38 pm

    ‘Freelace’ sounds naughty.

    Reply
  2. pamelaallegretto  March 2, 2018 at 3:24 pm

    I always look forward to this theme. You never disappoint!

    Reply
  3. Chris  March 2, 2018 at 12:55 pm

    I feel your pain. I edited a country lifestyle magazine and this guy sent me a scifi article. I actually called to ask if he’d ever seen the magazine. To my shock he said yes. I asked why he thought this would be a good fit for a magazine that did articles on B&B’s and decorating. His response was,

    “The aliens land in the country.”

    He was not given a staff position.

    Reply

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