“Buoy Bells?!” A Christmas-in-Florida Sing (and Laugh) Along written by the Naughty Elves at WritersWeekly and BookLocker!

“Buoy Bells?!” A Christmas-in-Florida Sing (and Laugh) Along written by the Naughty Elves at WritersWeekly and BookLocker!

Bet you guys and gals didn’t know that WritersWeekly has amazingly talented songwriters in-house, didja? Ha ha ha…

Buoy Bells

(Sing to the tune of Silver Bells)

Buoy bells (buoy bells), Red tide smells (Red tide smells)
It’s Christmas time in the tropics
Bang-a-lang (Bang-a-lang), Hear them clang (hear them clang)
Why is it 80 degrees?

Sunburned bubble butts, Sweaty beer guts
Dressed in shorts and flip flops
In the air there’s a sound of mosquitoes…

Beach bums laughing, tourists passing (out)
Meeting frowns from local folks
And on every beach blanket you hear

Jimmy Buffet (Jimmy Buffet), Jimmy Buffet (Jimmy Buffet)
I hate that song more than sweat stains
Oh my word (Oh my word), Big bag word! (Big bad word!)
Is that guy’s Speedo see-through?

Strings of cop lights, flashing blue lights
Blinking right in your eyes
As you try to rush home from the beach bar

Hear the boots crunch, on the pavement
Just outside your car door
And just after your Miranda Rights you hear

Watch your head (Watch your head), Lucky you’re not dead (Lucky you’re not dead)
Did you just vomit on my boots?
Snowbirds here (Snowbirds here), Every darned year (Every darned year)
Next year, go skiing instead!

If you, too, have written a funny Christmas parody song, please share it with us in the comments box below! We would LOVE to sing along!!!

All of the elves at WritersWeekly and BookLocker are wishing all of YOU, our smart, funny, talented, and at times whacky (which we LOVE!) readers, a beautiful, blessed, warm, and joyous Christmas!

Now, back to that HUGE tin of Moose Munch Crunch that arrived today!!

Big ho ho hugs!

Angela, Richard, Brian, Ali, Justin, and the rest of the gang


Angela Hoy lives on a mountain in North Georgia. She is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, the President and CEO of BookLocker.com and AbuzzPress, and the author of 24 books.

Follow Angela: twitter | facebook | linkedin

Angela is the creator of the Original 24-Hour Short Story Contest!
Learn more here: https://24hourshortstorycontest.com/

5 Responses to "“Buoy Bells?!” A Christmas-in-Florida Sing (and Laugh) Along written by the Naughty Elves at WritersWeekly and BookLocker!"

  1. Pamela Allegretto  December 22, 2018 at 1:11 pm

    Love it! I wish you and your family a very happy holiday and a happy and healthy New Year! Thanks for all your helpful and entertaining article. What would we writers do without you? I don’t ever want to find out. Cheers!

  2. El McMeen  December 21, 2018 at 9:36 am

    Loving Buoy Bells!!


  3. Andy Halmay  December 21, 2018 at 12:33 am

    Just curious if the decision to live on a sail ship was influenced by global warming and expected rising seas covering Florida or simply love of water? Merry Christmas & dry decks for 2019.

    • Brian Whiddon - Managing Editor  December 21, 2018 at 10:46 am

      Hi Andy. I can answer for Angela on this one. She decided to live on a boat after seeing how I lived on mine and we discussed the cost of living on a boat versus the cost of owning a house on land. Plus, she has always loved the water, and you cannot get much closer to the water than living on a boat.

      I don’t know about the rest of the globe, but I’ve lived in Florida for 49 years. The record high temp in my home town of Vero Beach was 104 in June of 1985, when I was 15. It’s not reached that temp again since – so that’s 33 years of no increase in temperatures. Additionally, I’ve sat in the exact spot on the beach in my home town where I once sat with my high-school sweetheart, and the ocean is no closer to the land than it was back then. Here in the Tampa Bay area, the same bridges that my parents drove me across when I was a young lad visiting my grandparents are still above water to this very day.

      So, perhaps everyone should flee to Florida, because while they are saying that the rest of the world is sinking into the sea…I’m personally seeing nothing of the sort with my own eyes here. 🙂

  4. Patricia Plake  December 20, 2018 at 11:41 pm

    The “Silver Bells” parody is clever. You must be having a good time down there.
    Merry Christmas to all of you.