You’re an author at an in-person event, a bookstore, a craft fair, or a book festival, hoping to entice shoppers into buying your book. But, they’re often not interested. Hand-selling books is tough, particularly if you’re an obscure writer without a large following. You can’t make people buy your book, but you can give them a reason to give it a serious look.

That reason is you, not your book.

If a prospective buyer likes you—finds you friendly, humorous, or engaging, they’re more likely to be interested in seeing what your book is about than if you just tried to push your book on them. It’s a lesson I learned long ago. My first novel had been recently published by a traditional small press. I was excited, having a table at the largest book festival in my area, one attended by hundreds of book-buying readers.

Surrounded by so much competition, my approach was simple: I smiled at people as they walked by and tried to engage them in conversation about everyday things. At one point, one of the festival coordinators stopped by to see how I was doing. I greeted her with a big smile, asking how her day was going. We had a short, pleasant chat. She moved on, pausing a few tables away where another author sat, an author I’ll call Dan. Dan looked like he belonged in a Hell’s Angels gang: rough-looking, stern-faced with a dark beard, and clad in a black leather jacket. The coordinator suggested Dan should smile. “You’re kind of intimidating,” she said. Then she pointed to me. “Look at him. He’s friendly. I’d buy a book from him!”

That moment opened my eyes.

Be approachable.

Another lesson was driven home the following year. I write detective novels and was attending one of the big mystery fiction conventions out East. The second I walked into the book room, I was waylaid by a man who blocked my way and shoved a trade paperback in my face. “You need to buy my book!” he demanded.

Uh, no, I don’t. Out loud, I said, “No, thank you,” and got away from this guy as fast as I could. Unfazed, he went after the person behind me. I later learned this author was infamous for doing this. Well, I’m from the Midwest. That kind of blatant in-your-face intrusion turned me off big time. I didn’t care how good his book was; there was no way in hell I would buy it!

From those two experiences, and observing other authors, I realized the best method for me was to first engage with prospective readers on a personal level. Like many authors, I’m an introvert. Talking to strangers isn’t easy, and asking an indifferent looking stranger to buy my book is even more challenging! Instead, I first talk about them. Ask how their day is going, what kind of books they like to read, and even talk about the weather. Make pleasant small talk about anything that seems appropriate. Eventually, I’ll hand my visitor a bookmark and briefly talk about my book, like under twenty seconds. After a pleasant chat, people usually pick up the book, page through it, and often buy it. The reason, I believe, is because I’d first made a personal connection with the prospective buyer.

I hadn’t sold my book to them; I’d sold myself, which prompted them to take a serious look at my book.

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Michael Allan Mallory is the co-author of two books featuring mystery’s first zoologist sleuth. His crime and mystery short fiction has been published in numerous anthologies and periodicals. He has been an editor on several mystery anthologies. His most recent novel, Tiger Claw, is a follow-up to The Lost Dragon Murder, which won a Best Independent Book Award, was a finalist for the Midwest Book Awards, and a finalist for the Silver Falchion Award presented by the Killer Nashville International Writers Conference. He’s been to more than his fair share of in-person author events and has shared war stories with many authors.