I’m still hacking and sneezing so this week I’m going to share another installment of our popular column, World’s Worst Book Proposals. Yes, we can learn from others’ mistakes! Featured below are real quotes from book proposals submitted to me over the past few months.

The (offensive) dreamer…

“I am a human being. I do not think I am a jerk. But unlike some humans, I am dismayed at the prospect of having to conduct a campaign of marketing any manuscript that I send you. While I like your approach to publishing on demand (so far), my purpose is to get my manuscript into book form, give my extended family copies of it and hope the reading public discovers it and loves it.”

Originality-challenged?

“My story is based on a movie.”

Uneducated or inebriated?

“I live in newbrunswick canada do you accept authors with a canadien address can i still submit a manuscript? this is my firt book could you give me some information”

After sending a kind rejection note that gently pointed out some misspellings in the book, the author responded with this –

“well, it is your loss. I am a gifted psychic medium and my book has potential. it is a channnelled book. You were very rude and i will do business elsewhere”

An editor is a writer’s best friend….

“I know (name removed) that’s one half and the other half is it is a beautiful short book aboutlife and it’s hard ships.”

This was for a book on education:

“Because there children who are unsuccessful in school”

Um, what?

“In the 12 chapters (character name) is is taken the the Battle of Bunker Hill to a train ride across the United StaTES”

All this author really needs is a home printer and a stapler.

“The book is being published for the authors’ pleasure. Sales are not the point.”

This is the very first sentence of Chapter One:

“Its late Friday afternoon…”

For more, see the previous installment of World’s Worst Book Proposals HERE.