Oh, yes! We know you’re excited!! Today, I’m going to share another installment of our popular column, World’s Worst Book Proposals and Query Letters. Featured below are real quotes from query letters and book proposals submitted to us over the past few weeks.

Yes, we can learn from others’ mistakes!

In case you’re a new reader, please know that we are a publication about writing and publishing FOR WRITERS. See if you can recognize the theme of errors below.

HER SHIFT KEY DOESN’T WORK ONLY WHEN SHE REFERS TO HERSELF? AND A COMMA IS HER ONLY FORM OF PUNCTUATION?

i am College Graduate and writer want to write stories Trends and article i visit your website but i want some more details, how much time do you take for article review if i submit today how many days do you take for publishing,

WELL, AT LEAST HE’S HONEST.

 I have no experience to write this type of articles. I want to work with you and I need guidance of you.

HE IS NOT REALLY A FAN BECAUSE HE’S OBVIOUSLY NEVER READ OUR GUIDELINES. WRITERS, NEVER OFFER TO WRITE FOR FREE. IT’S A HALLMARK SIGN OF AN AMATEUR AND DOING SO DEGRADES THE VALUE OF ALL WRITERS’ WORK.  

My name is (REMOVED), a 29 year old psychologist. As a genuine fan, I am very interested in writing for you on a voluntary/trial/part time basis, and I am totally open to covering any topic of interest. At present, I write for a few magazines covering areas of music, culture & psychology, please find links to a few of my pieces below.

NO! DON’T LIKE! BECAUSE THE ARTICLE WAS ABOUT THE STOCK MARKET!

Here an article for you! like?

FIREST? LOUSE YOUR EMOTION? WHAT?!?!

Today is my firest day & trying to send my queries.
Actually Im reading many of these freelance writers success stories & blogs from last two days,
Most carefully I have read (name removed) freelance success story I have learn most of the thought from his freelance writing.
Actually no one is perfect in there firest time work place,
But if we connect with any  business we must want to try do it more better than last time, Firest time we will have so many problems but we never louse our emotion,T

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE READ OUR GUIDELINES BEFORE CONTACTING US. IF YOU CAN’T BE BOTHERED TO READ A PUBLICATION’S GUIDELINES, THE EDITOR WON’T BOTHER TO RESPOND TO YOUR QUERY.

I want Publish sponsor article on your site Please send me your price and other detail

SPEECHLESS…

I want to ask youI need someone that maybe you can help me get started on writing about a story about my life um I want to like to write a book and I want to know if you can help me

SADLY, BEFORE YOU MAKE A CAREER, YOU NEED TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL.

i am new at this and want ti make a creer, help me shine

ANOTHER ONE WHO DIDN’T BOTHER TO RESEARCH THE MARKET.

I am writing this email regarding content writing. I love writing about new various topics including, web, internet, health, NSFW and so on. All the content are written original in nature and copyrighted material.

THIS LADY CAN’T BE SERIOUS!!!

My name is (removed). I would love to contribute to Writers Weekly. Problem is I only like to write short stories rather than articles. Short stories can range to romance, mystery, horror etc genre. Do you have any space and requirement for this kind of writing?

AND, ANOTHER ONE WHO DIDN’T RESEARCH THE MARKET.

wanna write articles that may be well for  society

WHY WOULD A PUBLICATION FOR WRITERS BUY AN ARTICLE ON CHILD CARE AWARENESS?!?!

I want to sell article of 800+ words 100% unique about
“Child care awareness” and i want to sell it do you interested thanks reply if you can pay more than 60$+ thanks

IF YOU’RE A COMPUTER SCIENCE GRADUATE, I’M A NUCLEAR SCIENTIST.

Well inshaallah i wil also be tying the know in few months.
well what kind of books/articles you write ? i am a computer science graduate working as an Assisstant Professor.

IF YOU READ OUR GUIDELINES, YOU’D KNOW THAT HAVING A WEBSITE ISN’T A REQUIREMENT TO WRITE FOR US. BUT, USING CORRECT CAPITALIZATION AND SPELLING IS.

Please, i do not owe no website. I only operate on email. Thank you.

See more entertaining installments of World’s Worst Book Proposals and Query Letters HERE.

RELATED:

When Freelance Writers are Toxic, Unstable, and Abusive to Editors
Trying To “Trick” Editors Can (And Will) Backfire
QUERY LETTERS THAT WORKED! Real Queries That Landed $2K+ Writing Assignments
BOOK PROPOSALS THAT WORKED! Real Book Proposals That Landed $10K – $100K Publishing Contracts
Can’t Afford An Editor? Try These Four Fun Steps For A Much Cleaner Manuscript!

Got questions about Print On Demand and Self-publishing? Ask Angela Hoy.

About The Author

Angela Hoy is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, the author of 19 books, and the co-owner of BookLocker.com (one of the original POD publishers that still gets books to market in less than a month), PubPreppers.com (print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish), and Abuzz Press (the publishing co-op that charges no setup fees).

Angela has lived and traveled across the U.S. with her kids in an RV, settled in a river-side home in Bradenton, FL, and lived on a 52 ft Irwin sailboat. Angela now resides on a mountaintop in Northwest Georgia, where she plans to spend the rest of her days bird watching, gardening, hiking, and taking in all of the amazing sunrises.

WritersWeekly.com - the free marketing ezine for writers, which features new paying markets and freelance job listings every Wednesday.

BookLocker.com - According to attorney Mark Levine, author of The Fine Print, BookLocker is: "As close to perfection as you're going to find in the world of ebook and POD publishing. The ebook royalties are the highest I've ever seen, and the print royalties are better than average. BookLocker understands what new authors experience, and have put together a package that is the best in the business. You can't go wrong here. Plus, they're selective and won't publish any manuscript just because it's accompanied by a check. Also, the web site is well trafficked. If you can find a POD or epublisher with as much integrity and dedication to selling authors' books, but with lower POD publishing fees, please let me know."

Abuzz Press offers FAST and FREE book publication, but only accepts a small percentage of submissions, and only works with U.S. authors.

PubPreppers.com - "We Prep, You Publish!" Print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish. Offers formatting and design services only, and then provides simple instructions for authors on where to sign up to have the print and ebook editions printed/listed/sold. Cut out the middle man. Keep 100% of what bookstores pay for your book!

Angela's POD Secrets Revealed Series can be found HERE.

Have a POD Book with another publisher? See if BookLocker can give you a better deal. (BookLocker offers "disgruntled author discounts" to those who want to move from other POD services.)

See BookLocker's publishing packages HERE.

ANGELA ON TWITTER https://twitter.com/AngelaHoy

BOOKLOCKER ON FACEBOOK - Provides links to free excerpts!
https://www.facebook.com/booklockerbooks

ANGELA ON FACEBOOK
https://www.facebook.com/angela.hoy.750

ANGELA ON LINKEDIN
https://www.linkedin.com/in/angelahoy/

Angela is the creator of the Original 24-Hour Short Story Contest!
https://24hourshortstorycontest.com/

Read More Of Angela's Articles HERE

90+ DAYS OF PROMOTING YOUR BOOK ONLINE: Your Book's Daily Marketing Plan by Angela Hoy and Richard Hoy

Promoting your book online should be considered at least a part-time job. Highly successful authors spend more time promoting a book than they do writing it - a lot more.

We know what you're thinking. You're an author, not a marketer. Not to worry! We have more than a decade of successful online book selling experience under our belts and we're going to teach you how to promote your book effectively online...and almost all of our techniques are FREE!

Online book promotion is not only simple but, if you have a step-by-step, day-to-day marketing plan (this book!), it can also be a very artistic endeavor, which makes it fun for creative folks like you!

Yes, online book promoting can be EASY and FUN! Let us show you how, from Day 1 through Day 90...and beyond!