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DON’T MISS THIS ONE!!! Marsh Rose is a HOOT!!!

Episode 53: The Psychology of Scam Victims with Psychotherapist Marsh Rose

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I’m exhausted. I’ve been waging a battle with a scammer all week. She wanted a free copy of my book. I wanted to be a nicer person. We both failed.

My friends and family complain about my frequent use of sarcasm. It’s “passive aggressive,” the therapists say. Passive aggression: expressing anger or frustration indirectly. Gaslighting, procrastination, backhanded compliments…and especially sarcasm, they’re all “passive aggressive.”

And what is sarcasm? It’s mocking, ridiculing, with the use of satire or scorn. It’s a bad habit, it’s not nice, and after the last complaint from my sister about my evil ways, I vowed to change. From now on, I would be more direct and honest. I would be a nicer person. But then I was immediately tested by a book marketing scammer.

Should I have resisted mocking, ridiculing, and scorning when “Heather” tried to get a free copy of my book? Then, when I suggested she buy her own copy, she asked me to send her my manuscript. And when I refused to send her my manuscript, she asked me to buy a copy – of my own book! – and have it sent to her! What would you have done?

It started when she emailed more than the usual effusive pitch. So, so much more. It was 8 pages long and 2,759 words. She summarized, she delineated, she outlined. The adjectives all but glowed in the dark (“extraordinary,” “profound,” “revelatory,” ad nauseam). And she made a curious claim. “I did not simply read your synopsis. I sat with it.”

Synopsis? “Sat with it?” In other words, not only did she NOT read my book, but she also did not read the synopsis. I’m not sure what “I sat with it” means, but I suspect my English teacher in high school wouldn’t have given me a passing grade for “I didn’t read Moby Dick, but I sat with it.” Did I say this to “Heather?” No. That would have been sarcastic. Still, I wanted to know what she meant.

From: [Me]
Sent: Tuesday, September 1, 2026 12:12 PM
To: “Heather”
Subject: Re: The Unknowable Mystery of Love: A Strategic Vision for A Version of the Truth

Greetings, “Heather”

Thanks for a thorough overview of my memoir and its impact. You note often throughout your lengthy email that you “sat with” my memoir, A Version of the Truth. Does this mean you read it?
Sincerely,
[Me]

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[“Heather’s” response was swift and, again, exhausting.]

From: “Heather”
Sent: Tuesday, September 1, 2026 2:32 PM
To: [Me]
Subject: Re: The Unknowable Mystery of Love: A Strategic Vision for A Version of the Truth

Dear [My name],

Thank you for your honest and direct question. You deserve nothing less than a straight answer.

Did I read your book? No, I have not read the full manuscript.

[I didn’t ask if she read the manuscript. I asked if she read the book. It was my gentle, and not at all sarcastic, way of asking if she paid for it, as people do when they want to read a book. This will be important.]

But I want to be equally clear about what I have done, because it is precisely why I reached out to you. When your book was placed before me through the platform’s curation, I did not simply glance at the title and send a templated email. I invested real time in understanding what you have written.

[Without having read it?]

I studied your synopsis in depth. I sat with your premise, your themes, and the emotional weight of your story. I searched for every piece of information available about your book and your work as an author…

[Let us count the ways she didn’t read the book.]

I did this because I do not contact authors lightly. I reached out to you because what I discovered about your book moved me. Even without having read every page,

[Or any page…]

I recognized that A Version of the Truth is not just another memoir. It is a work of depth, courage, and significance, the kind of book that deserves to find its readers and that I would be genuinely proud to help bring into the world.

[And on, and on, and finally….]

If you would like me to read your full manuscript before we move forward, I would be honored to do so. I believe that to serve your book well, I should know it as intimately as possible, page by page, word by word. So I invite you: please send me your manuscript. I will read it in full detail. I will sit with every chapter, every moment, and every revelation. And when I have finished, I will have an even deeper understanding of the work you have poured your heart into.

[The temptation to be sarcastic was grueling. Sweat coated my brow. I could have reminded “Heather” that one of the reasons people write books is to get other people to buy them. I could have said that the book is a mere $12.50 on Amazon, and asked what it had cost her to get AI to write this volume of insincere prose. But I stood my ground.]

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From: [Me]
Sent: Wednesday, September 2, 2026 10:30 AM
To: “Heather”
Subject: Re: The Unknowable Mystery of Love: A Strategic Vision for A Version of the Truth

Dear “Heather,”

Thanks for your interest in my book. It is available on Amazon and directly from my publisher. I don’t offer free copies or release the manuscript.

Sincerely
[My name]

[See? Direct, informative, honest. It’s the new me!]

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From: “Heather”
Sent: Wednesday, September 2, 2026 1:45 PM
To: [Me]
Subject: Re: The Unknowable Mystery of Love: A Strategic Vision for A Version of the Truth

Dear [Me],

Thank you for your directness. I respect it completely. You asked a fair question, and I gave you an honest answer. Now you have given me one in return, and I appreciate that.

Let me address the heart of what you are saying. You asked me if I had read your book. I said no. And then you pointed out that your book is available on Amazon and from your publisher. You are absolutely right. I could have purchased it. I should have purchased it.

[Yes! Being a nice person, a direct and honest person, works. She realizes that she should have bought my book. Now we’re getting somewhere! I may stop being sarcastic for the rest of my life.]

But here is the truth, [my name], and I hope you will hear it with the same directness you have shown me.

[Uh-oh]

The moment you asked me if I had read your book, I understood something profound about you as an author. You were not testing me. You were protecting your work. You wanted to know if I was someone who truly cared about what you had written, or if I was just another marketer sending templated emails. That question told me everything I needed to know about you. It told me that you are discerning. It told me that you do not suffer empty flattery. It told me that you value substance over performance. And it told me that if I wanted to earn your trust, I would have to show you that I see your book for what it truly is.

[Are we following this? She knows everything about my book without having read it. And from a brief email exchange, she understands everything about me. I’ve been in long-term relationships with guys who never understood anything about me. Maybe we should have just emailed each other. I was desperately tempted to reveal this to “Heather,” but… no sarcasm.]

That is why I asked for your manuscript. Not because I was too lazy to buy it. But because I wanted you to know that I was willing to go deeper. I wanted to read your work on your terms, page by page, as a sign of respect. I wanted to earn the right to speak to you about your book, not by reciting a synopsis, but by immersing myself in your words.

[She did not buy my book as a sign of respect. I’m not sure what this says about the people who did buy my book. Yet, I remained silent…albeit seething with unexpressed mockery.]

I see now that I approached that the wrong way. I should have simply bought the book, read it, and then reached out to you with genuine insights. That is on me. And I want you to know that I hear you.

[She heard me! She’s going to buy the book! What shall I do with my royalty of about 35 cents when my publisher sends me the next quarterly haul? But wait. In the next four pages and 1,315 words, I came to see that my elation was premature.]

I understand what you have built. And I understand it because of the very question you asked me…. You asked me if I had truly read your book. You wanted to know if I really understood you. You tested me the same way life tested you. And I failed that test. I told you the truth, but I failed to show you that I had earned the right to speak to you.

[I just asked her to buy my book, not take holy vows. But she’ll never know my effort to be witty.]

I made a mistake in how I approached you. I should have read your book before I ever contacted you. I should have shown you that I had done the work. I take full responsibility for that. But I hope you will see that my mistake came from a place of genuine admiration. I was so moved by what I discovered about your book that I reached out before I had fully earned the right to do so. That is not an excuse. It is an honest admission. And I hope it shows you that I am someone who cares deeply about the work I do and the authors I serve.

[My name], I am not asking you to send me your manuscript. I am not asking you to trust me blindly. You have every right to be cautious. You have every right to be protective. Your book is your heart, and you should not hand it to just anyone. But I hope you will give me the chance to earn your trust. I believe in your work. I believe it matters. And I would be genuinely honored to help it reach the readers who are waiting for it.

Purchase a copy of your book from Amazon or your publisher. Send it to me. I will read it in full. I will sit with every word, every moment, every revelation. And then I will come back to you with a genuine, thoughtful, and honest conversation about what I see in your work and how we can bring it to the world.

[When I hoped someone in this exhausting exchange would finally buy my book, I didn’t intend for it to be me!]

Thank you for your honesty. Thank you for your directness. And thank you for holding me to a higher standard. You made me better just by asking the question.

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[And, now I fail my vow to longer use sarcasm!]

From: [Me]
Sent: Wednesday, September 2, 2026 3:30 PM
To: “Heather”
Subject: Re: The Unknowable Mystery of Love: A Strategic Vision for A Version of the Truth

“Heather”, sweetie, let’s see if I understand your goal. You are asking me to buy a copy of my own book for you, which was after I refused to send you my manuscript, and that was after I challenged you to buy it yourself? I keep thinking of my high school boyfriend, Jimmy Lee Cridler. He tore up my parents’ front landscaping with his souped-up Camaro, then tried to get my father to pay for his carwash. And you’re thanking me for holding you to a higher standard? What are your low standards? Whatever they are, in my mind I’m watching you disappear into the sunset, possibly in a Camaro.

[Would you have been any nicer?]

• Episode 53: The Psychology of Scam Victims with Psychotherapist Marsh Rose – DON’T MISS THIS ONE!!!
• How to Have Fun With Con Artists! By Marsh Rose
• DON’T MISS THIS HILARIOUS ONE! Scammed By A “Fellow Author?” Don’t Get Mad, Get Even… – by Marsh Rose
• THIS THERAPIST IS HILARIOUS!!! Scammers Need Love, Too! (Or Maybe Just a Support Group…) – by Marsh Rose
• I Got Scammed by a Fake Book Club ON PURPOSE! – by Marsh Rose

Marsh Rose is a psychotherapist and author of creative nonfiction. Her short stories have appeared in a variety of publications including Cosmopolitan Magazine, Salon.Com, Hippocampus and others. Her memoir, A Version Of the Truth, was published by Sunbury Press in September 2025 and her story, “False Memory,” won first prize for creative nonfiction from New Millennium Writings in 2018. Her website is https://www.marshroseauthor.com. Marsh lives in Northern California.

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