Oh, yes! We know you’re excited!! Today, we’re going to share another installment of our popular column, World’s Worst Book Proposals and Query Letters. Featured below are real quotes from query letters and book proposals submitted to us over the past few weeks.
Yes, we can learn from others’ mistakes!
In case you’re a new reader, please know that we are a publication about writing and publishing FOR WRITERS. See if you can recognize a theme in the errors below.
WRITERS SHOULD REALLY KNOW HOW TO SPELL THE WORD “WRITE” RIGHT. AM I RIGHT?
i would be happy to right successful stories for publication
THESE SUBJECTS DO NOT EVEN REMOTELY MATCH THE TOPICS WE COVER
I am interested in writing an article about how churches and religions are our buffer for politics and our government.
WRITERS SHOULD REALLY KNOW HOW TO SPELL THE WORD ARTICLE! (AND WHY IS HE YELLING AT ME?)
I THINK I AM A GOOD WRITER.I HAVE KNOWLEDGE ABOUT INTERNET,FOREST,UNIVERSE,EARTH.I CAN WRITE BEST ARTICAL
WRITERS (AND LAWYERS) SHOULD KNOW CORRECT CAPITALIZATION AND PUNCTUATION.
This is (name removed) a law student and i enjoy writing and im willing to write for you and make money out of it. What interests me is life, postive behaviour, colors and more fun things.
WHAT’S UP WITH THE CAPITALIZATION? IS THIS THE TITLE OF HIS ARTICLE?
Please I Want To Make Money Writing Articles How Can I Forward My Article To You.Thank You
JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE A NEWBIE DOES NOT MEAN YOU SHOULD ALSO BE UNPROFESSIONAL
The subject line of the email:
I am a newbie blogger but k write good stuff
The entire body of the email:
Sent from my iPhone
CHECK OUT THIS RUN-ON SENTENCE! TRY TO READ IT OUT LOUD WITHOUT TAKING A BREATH.
I have visit your site and found reliable information so i am interested to place a permanent guest post at your site and the article will be provided by us which will be written by one of our specialist writer having 1-2 do follow link inside article or either in author bio as you feel easy to go ahead.
OFFERING TO WRITE FOR FREE SCREAMS UNPROFESSIONAL. WE PAY ALL WRITERS WHO WRITE FOR US. OFFERING TO WRITE FOR FREE IS A SURE SIGN OF AN AMATEUR. DON’T WRITE FOR FREE!
Hello! I would just be interesting in the experience I could gain from writing for you.
HIS SPACE BAR HAS A SHORT IN IT. AND, HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW IF WE’RE A MAGAZINE OR A WEBSITE? THIS SCREAMS “MASS EMAIL” AND IS VERY OFFENSIVE TO EDITORS. IF YOU CAN’T BE BOTHERED TO RESEARCH OUR PUBLICATION, WE CAN’T BE BOTHERED TO RESPOND TO YOUR IMPERSONAL MASS EMAIL
hello.how are you?my name is (removed).i want to write paid online articles,blogs,stories on different topics for your website,magazine or whatever it is.so tell me where i can submitt my written stuff and how?
Hey, i am a free lancer and i’m looking for topics to write articles. i can’t figure out the topics .
WOW! YOU STARTED WRITING WHEN YOU WERE 5 MONTHS OLD?!
I am a content writer from India I have been into writing since 5 months…I have created articles on hairstyles, exercise machines, popcorn, car speakers, bird feeders etc..
I NEED PROFESSIONAL WRITERS WHO USE CORRECT CAPITALIZATION AND PUNCTUATION.
i need to sign up and write in the blog and earn enough money
THIS ONE CRACKED US UP!
five fool proof ways to make money with just a pen and paper.
hie i have been a freelance for 3 years and well conversant with the field.can i submit my articles on various topics.give me a go ahead of how you go around here
See more entertaining installments of World’s Worst Book Proposals and Query Letters HERE.
QUERY LETTERS THAT WORKED! Real Queries That Landed $2K+ Writing Assignments
If This Article Offends You, You’re Not a Professional Writer
When Freelance Writers are Toxic, Unstable, and Abusive to Editors
BOOK PROPOSALS THAT WORKED! Real Book Proposals That Landed $10K – $100K Publishing Contracts
Trying To “Trick” Editors Can (And Will) Backfire
Can’t Afford An Editor? Try These Four Fun Steps For A Much Cleaner Manuscript!
Got questions about Print On Demand and Self-publishing? Ask Angela Hoy.
About The Author
Angela Hoy is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, the author of 19 books, and the co-owner of BookLocker.com (one of the original POD publishers that still gets books to market in less than a month), PubPreppers.com (print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish), and Abuzz Press (the publishing co-op that charges no setup fees).
Angela has lived and traveled across the U.S. with her kids in an RV, settled in a river-side home in Bradenton, FL, and lived on a 52 ft Irwin sailboat. Angela now resides on a mountaintop in Northwest Georgia, where she plans to spend the rest of her days bird watching, gardening, hiking, and taking in all of the amazing sunrises.
WritersWeekly.com - the free marketing ezine for writers, which features new paying markets and freelance job listings every Wednesday.
BookLocker.com - According to attorney Mark Levine, author of The Fine Print, BookLocker is: "As close to perfection as you're going to find in the world of ebook and POD publishing. The ebook royalties are the highest I've ever seen, and the print royalties are better than average. BookLocker understands what new authors experience, and have put together a package that is the best in the business. You can't go wrong here. Plus, they're selective and won't publish any manuscript just because it's accompanied by a check. Also, the web site is well trafficked. If you can find a POD or epublisher with as much integrity and dedication to selling authors' books, but with lower POD publishing fees, please let me know."
Abuzz Press offers FAST and FREE book publication, but only accepts a small percentage of submissions, and only works with U.S. authors.
PubPreppers.com - "We Prep, You Publish!" Print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish. Offers formatting and design services only, and then provides simple instructions for authors on where to sign up to have the print and ebook editions printed/listed/sold. Cut out the middle man. Keep 100% of what bookstores pay for your book!
Angela's POD Secrets Revealed Series can be found HERE.
Have a POD Book with another publisher? See if BookLocker can give you a better deal. (BookLocker offers "disgruntled author discounts" to those who want to move from other POD services.)
See BookLocker's publishing packages HERE.
ANGELA ON TWITTER https://twitter.com/AngelaHoy
BOOKLOCKER ON FACEBOOK - Provides links to free excerpts!
ANGELA ON FACEBOOK
ANGELA ON LINKEDIN
Angela is the creator of the Original 24-Hour Short Story Contest!
Read More Of Angela's Articles HERE
90+ DAYS OF PROMOTING YOUR BOOK ONLINE: Your Book's Daily Marketing Plan by Angela Hoy and Richard Hoy
Promoting your book online should be considered at least a part-time job. Highly successful authors spend more time promoting a book than they do writing it - a lot more.
We know what you're thinking. You're an author, not a marketer. Not to worry! We have more than a decade of successful online book selling experience under our belts and we're going to teach you how to promote your book effectively online...and almost all of our techniques are FREE!
Online book promotion is not only simple but, if you have a step-by-step, day-to-day marketing plan (this book!), it can also be a very artistic endeavor, which makes it fun for creative folks like you!
Yes, online book promoting can be EASY and FUN! Let us show you how, from Day 1 through Day 90...and beyond!
And my award, this time, goes to the massive run-on sentence!
If you can read that entire sentence, in one breath, you are ready for the underwater freestyle competition at the Olympics.
Seriously – you truly have to make one breath last in this competition. Practicing with these marathon sentences is excellent training. ;))
Wow. I thought I’d come across some ridiculously horrific disasters while editing….some of these are laughable – or perhaps cry-able.