Check out the WritersWeekly Podcast Episode 4, which is on this same hilarious topic! And, find out how to get free copies of two of Angela’s books, Query Letters That Worked and Book Proposals That Worked!

It’s that time again!! The non-sensical emails with off topic pitches, badly worded questions, and meaningless statements keep rolling in. Today, we’re going to share another installment of our popular column, World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals.

We’ve been saving these for a few weeks now so there are a LOT to entertain you! As always, we’ve saved the best for last!

Featured below are real quotes from query letters and book proposals submitted to us over the past few weeks. Yes, we can learn from others’ mistakes!

In case you’re a new reader, please know that we are a publication about writing and publishing FOR WRITERS. When someone contacts us using our online contact form, directly above that form is a link to our writer’s guidelines, in a very large, bold, red font. The link to our guidelines is also at the top of every page on our website.

Are you ready? ENJOY!

---

What are the biggest content challenges the company currently faces, and how do you see this role contributing to solving them?

We have no content challenges and, if we did, I wouldn’t discuss them with a perfect stranger. How about pitching me an actual article idea after READING OUR WRITER’S GUIDELINES? Click on the “Write for Us” link that appears at the very top of EVERY PAGE on our website! CAN’T MISS IT!

I already edited my novel? Do I need to edit it again?

Well, you sent me a two-sentence email but no manuscript to review so how can I possibly answer your question?

I need my book translated to English, professionally edited, published and promoted but I can’t afford to pay anything.

Click on this link: BOOK PROPOSALS THAT WORKED! Real Book Proposals That Landed $10K – $100K Publishing Contracts – SECOND EDITION

Or, see:

“WHY WON’T YOU PUBLISH MY BOOK FOR FREE?” – A Behind the Scenes Look at a Publisher’s Expenses

Hii

When I write an article do I get paid for it.

Hii yourself. If you’d bothered to read our writer’s guidelines, you’d already know the answer to that question. Also, please learn what a question mark is before querying us or any publication.

I am a freelance writers I write deeply serching cotent

Oh, yes, I can see that…

I am a professional writer and write for you with honestly see my simple site that i have make

If you don’t have complete command of the language in which a website or magazine is published, do not waste your nor their time by pitching. You will get zero responses.

Hi Angela, I have been touched you. But you didn’t respond. I wash to write here.

I typically ignore strangers who touch me. I am happy to hear that you washed, though!

I wish to writing here . I can. I have been try. But nobody response to me.

So, could please help me. Without fear.

When someone repeatedly doesn’t bother to read our writer’s guidelines, and follow those instructions, their future emails are filtered directly into my trash folder. Don’t worry. I have zero fear when I delete someone’s email after they’ve wasted my time.

Please guest post me in low budget Allow me.

If you’d bothered to read our guidelines, you’d know that we never publish guest posts. (For those who don’t know, a guest post is when someone pays YOU to publish something on your website. They’re primarily advertorials.) And, no, I won’t publish anything by someone with poor writing and punctuation skills…even if they offer to pay me.

I’m interested writing here. Can I write here. I have been logging but didn’t reply I get..?

Yoda strikes again!

Hope this message reaches,i came across your platform and with my skills of content writings can able to help your company.i have more than 5years with experience that will torture your industry.

Your query letter (if you can call it that) was torturous enough.

Subject: Guest Post Proposal for Writers Weekly

Dear [ Writers Weekly Team],

I hope you’re doing well.

I’m [Your Name], and I’d like to propose a guest post collaboration for your Writers Weekly .

The article I’ve prepared aligns with your audience’s interests, covering topics like wholesale sourcing strategies, and actionable tips. It complements your content while adding value for your readers.

No, it doesn’t complement our content at all. And, this is clearly a bulk email from someone who doesn’t have the skills to replace the information in brackets correctly. Again, we never buy guest posts!

Do you use freelance writers

Not ones who don’t read our guidelines and who don’t know how to use a question mark.

hi, im article writer and typist. you can got my services in low price and quality work

Pretty sure the quality is going to SUCK.

Can be writing a about art works and master piece.

Never, ever send emails to editors when you are drunk! Save those emails for your ex.

---

See more entertaining installments of World’s Worst Book Proposals and Query Letters RIGHT HERE.

Please tell us what you think in the comments box below! 🙂

RELATED

• Because We Refuse to Buy Bad Articles, Now We’re RACISTS?! by Brian Whiddon, Managing Editor
• Wanna Get Paying Work? An Editor’s Open Letter to New Writers Who Don’t Yet Know What the (Bleep) They’re Doing
• Copies of real query letters that resulted in writing assignments worth $2K and much more!
• If This Article Offends You, You’re Not a Professional Writer
• Can’t Afford An Editor? Try These Four Fun Steps For A Much Cleaner Manuscript!
• More opinionated articles from Angela’s Desk

Have questions about Writing, Print On Demand, or Self-publishing? Ask Angela.