World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For May, 2018!

World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For May, 2018!

Oh, yes! We know you’re excited!! Today, we’re going to share another installment of our popular column, World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals.

Featured below are real quotes from query letters and book proposals submitted to us over the past few weeks.

Yes, we can learn from others’ mistakes!

In case you’re a new reader, please know that we are a publication about writing and publishing FOR WRITERS. When someone contacts us using our online contact form, directly above that form is a link to our writer’s guidelines, in a very large, red font. See if you recognize the themes below.

I’M THINKING THAT WRITING DIPLOMA IS FAKE…
I have diploma in writing and I have talent in writing iam good article writer

I DON’T KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS…AND I DON’T THINK I WANT TO KNOW.
i wanna write article about “busting the wrong idea of feminism” how can i join ur writing group?

MIXING PRESENT AND PAST TENSE IS NEVER A GOOD IDEA WHEN QUERYING..
Want to sold my article

WHY WOULD A WRITING PUBLICATION BE INTERESTED IN THESE TOPICS?
I am interested in writing about medicine snd health.

EVERY SINGLE PART OF THIS QUERY IS WRONG.
I’m a well versed as a blogger & I manage a hand full of websites of my own. These are some topic ideas that I can think off, that would work perfectly for your Website but I’m open to working around your suggestions:
The best vacuum for pet hair
5 Considerations When Buying a Pet Vacuum Cleaner
What is the best vacuum cleaner for dog hair?

I’M SPEECHLESS…
i tolk spanish but i have a lot to say and some bills i need to pay, and i found that you are my perfect solution. to whom i have to send my inquirí?

“ON THE BASIS OF PAID THANKS?” WHAT IS THAT?!
Hi am article writer contact me.. I want to work on article on the basis of paid thanks

NEVER, EVER, EVER HAVE A RELATIVE APPLY FOR A JOB ON YOUR BEHALF…ESPECIALLY ONE WHO CAN’T SPELL OR USE CORRECT PUNCTUATION.
my is sister looking for job as writer

EXACTLY WHAT IS YOUR IDEA? AND, BY THE WAY, DO YOU THINK YOU CAN FIX YOUR SHIFT KEY BEFORE YOU WRITE ME BACK?
it is an utterly a new thing that your readers will find a fresh breather.

I CAN’T EVEN… I MEAN, WHAT?!
Mostly what I write is poetry in Hindi language and once in while, I also write proses and couplets that I could relate to or feel like. I like telling stories as well which I do end up writing when all dreamy. I work for fashion which could possibly make me write about it too. And, I write about real life experiences once in a while. A free bird as I could be the caged vagabond I have become. You see, what I did there?

I WOULD LOVE FOR YOU TO RESEARCH OUR GUIDELINES BEFORE EMAILING ME.
I would love to share my article for money

A FOUR-WORD QUERY ABOUT WRITING…WITH WRITING SPELLED WRONG.
Query letter about writin

YOU CAN START BY READING OUR GUIDELINES. THERE’S A LINK AT THE TOP OF EVERY PAGE ON OUR WEBSITE.
How to start this work?

PLEASE CHECK BACK AFTER YOU’VE MASTERED SPELLING AND PUNCTUATION.
I wanted to submit a querry …whats the procedure

PARANOID CONSPIRACY THEORISTS NEED NOT APPLY…
i have a passion of emancipating the masses from heir mental slavery and awaken them to the truth of the world. I want to use writing as my foremost weapon but unfortunately I don’t have the resources or an outlet to efficiently reach my target. I would have used social media but as you know, I might be banned for speaking about forbidden truths. It would also put my life at risk as tracking me would be much easier.

See more entertaining installments of World’s Worst Book Proposals and Query Letters RIGHT HERE.

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Got questions about Print On Demand and Self-publishing? Ask Angela Hoy.

About The Author

AngelaPortrait72dpismall_400x400

Angela Hoy is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, the author of 19 books, and the co-owner of BookLocker.com (one of the original POD publishers that still gets books to market in less than a month), PubPreppers.com (print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish), and Abuzz Press (the publishing co-op that charges no setup fees).

Angela lives on a 52' Irwin Center Cockpit Ketch (sailboat) with her family and pets. Keep up with her family's adventurous liveaboard lifestyle at GotNoTanLines.com

WritersWeekly.com - the free marketing ezine for writers, which features new paying markets and freelance job listings every Wednesday.

BookLocker.com - According to attorney Mark Levine, author of The Fine Print, BookLocker is: "As close to perfection as you're going to find in the world of ebook and POD publishing. The ebook royalties are the highest I've ever seen, and the print royalties are better than average. BookLocker understands what new authors experience, and have put together a package that is the best in the business. You can't go wrong here. Plus, they're selective and won't publish any manuscript just because it's accompanied by a check. Also, the web site is well trafficked. If you can find a POD or epublisher with as much integrity and dedication to selling authors' books, but with lower POD publishing fees, please let me know."

Abuzz Press offers FAST and FREE book publication, but only accepts a small percentage of submissions, and only works with U.S. authors.

PubPreppers.com - "We Prep, You Publish!" Print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish. Offers formatting and design services only, and then provides simple instructions for authors on where to sign up to have the print and ebook editions printed/listed/sold. Cut out the middle man. Keep 100% of what bookstores pay for your book!

Angela's POD Secrets Revealed Series can be found HERE.

Have a POD Book with another publisher? See if BookLocker can give you a better deal. (BookLocker offers "disgruntled author discounts" to those who want to move from other POD services.)


See BookLocker's publishing packages HERE.


ANGELA ON TWITTER https://twitter.com/AngelaHoy


BOOKLOCKER ON FACEBOOK - Provides links to free excerpts!
https://www.facebook.com/booklockerbooks


ANGELA ON FACEBOOK
https://www.facebook.com/angela.hoy.750


ANGELA ON LINKEDIN
https://www.linkedin.com/pub/angela-hoy/78/719/390


Angela is the creator of the Original 24-Hour Short Story Contest!
https://24hourshortstorycontest.com/



Read More Of Angela's Articles HERE

 



Ask Angela About Print On Demand and Self-Publishing

Angela is the Publisher of WritersWeekly.com and co-owner of the POD firm BookLocker.com

According to attorney Mark Levine, author of The Fine Print, BookLocker is:

"As close to perfection as you're going to find in the world of ebook and POD publishing. The ebook royalties are the highest I've ever seen, and the print royalties are better than average. BookLocker understands what new authors experience, and have put together a package that is the best in the business. You can't go wrong here. Plus, they're selective and won't publish any manuscript just because it's accompanied by a check. Also, the web site is well trafficked. If you can find a POD or epublisher with as much integrity and dedication to selling authors' books, but with lower POD publishing fees, please let me know."

Got questions? Ask Angela about Print On Demand and Self-publishing.

Have a POD Book with another publisher? See if BookLocker can give you a better deal. (BookLocker offers "disgruntled author discounts" to those who want to move from other POD services.)

See BookLocker's publishing packages.


Follow BookLocker on Facebook to keep track of self-publishing news and marketing resources.



 





Get 10% off "Query Letters That Worked" when you use the code below at checkout!


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One Response to "World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For May, 2018!"

  1. pamelaallegretto  May 11, 2018 at 1:59 pm

    Oh, how I always enjoy this column. Thank you!