Oh, yes! We know you’re excited!! Today, we’re going to share another installment of our popular column, World’s Worst Book Proposals and Query Letters.
Featured below are real quotes from query letters and book proposals submitted to us over the past few weeks.
Yes, we can learn from others’ mistakes!
In case you’re a new reader, please know that we are a publication about writing and publishing FOR WRITERS. When someone contacts us using our online contact form, directly above that form is a link to our writer’s guidelines. See if you recognize the themes below.
THE ONE-SENTENCE QUERY LETTER
I can I get paid for writing.
You see an ad. The same ad with you text may see many.
IF YOU WANT TO BE A WRITER, STUDY QUERY LETTERS BEFORE CONTACTING EDITORS
I want to do work from home. Please tell me that how am i join this.
WHY WOULD A WRITING PUBLICATION OFFER EROTICA TO ITS READERS?
iam interested about an erotic story , what is the procedure ?
HE USED ONE WORD IN THE EMAIL SUBJECT LINE…AND SPELLED IT WRONG.
THE FIVE-WORD QUERY LETTER (WITH NO PUNCTUATION).
I want write for you
IF YOU CAN’T SPELL WRITER CORRECTLY, YOU SHOULD REALLY CONSIDER ANOTHER LINE OF WORK…
Hello.I will like to be a writter on your website.So What will do.
Do you have need for my asigment? I am writter that is very skilled in many areas
AND YET ANOTHER!
I would like to be a writter on writters weekly.com i have tried severally to apply but i dont seem to be getting through.
i want to make me a story ! i will give you only a few quiding about the topic !
is this possible ?
i have not a story in hadwritten that i want to print !
Please make me confusionless I am truely desperate to make money and bright my name.
IF YOU DON’T SPEAK AND WRITE ENGLISH FLUENTLY, READ THIS BEFORE APPROACHING ENGLISH-LANGUAGE PUBLICATIONS.
I have only one question, is it mandatory to write in english? What is article is in another language?
Written is a good as own. it’s like good habit or like a good profession as you think.in my mind it’s a emotional happyness.
SUBJECT LINE OF THIS WRITER’S EMAIL
Want Write article for sell
PLEASE DO NOT DRINK AND QUERY…
At wat matter I have to write?
Will you select it or I have to white. ..?
THIS WRITER OBVIOUSLY DID NOT STUDY HIS MARKET BEFORE QUERYING.
I want to publish my first article about one of the seven wonders of the world, Taj Mahal in your renowned website.
NOT USING SPELL-CHECK CAN DOOM YOUR CHANCES OF LANDING A FREELANCE JOB.
I want to work as freelncer
RESEARCH THE PUBLICATION FIRST SO YOU DON’T NEED TO ASK ABOUT PAYMENT UP FRONT. OUR GUIDELINES CLEARLY STATE OUR PAY RATES, AS WELL AS HOW TO SEND IN QUERIES.
do i send my article via e mail?how can i get my paymet in my account
FALSE FLATTERY IS INSULTING TO EDITORS. GET TO THE POINT. WHAT ARTICLE ARE YOU PROPOSING?
I have always had the penchant for writing and latelyI came across your site “writersweekly.com” and I was quite smitten by it.
WHAT SHOULD YOU DO? LEARN CORRECT PUNCTUATION AND SPELLING.
hi a want to right what should a do
REPEAT AFTER ME. DO NOT USE CELL PHONE ABBREVIATIONS WHEN QUERYING!
I have mailed u an article. If u find it is worthy I continue writing for u.
HEY, READ THE PUBLICATION’S GUIDELINES BEFORE INITIATING CONTACT!
hey I write articles, let me know if you are interested.
WE SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST. DOES ANYONE ELSE SEE THE HUMOROUS IRONY IN THIS BOOK PROPOSAL?
With all the blessings god can give!
I pray your prosperous and loving and kind. I think we can
Write some really exciting romance and erotic novels. Im blesses and highly favored. And my prayerfor you is to contact me with gods favor
See more entertaining installments of World’s Worst Book Proposals and Query Letters HERE.
Copies of real query letters that resulted in writing assignments worth $2K and much more!
If This Article Offends You, You’re Not a Professional Writer
When Freelance Writers are Toxic, Unstable, and Abusive to Editors
BOOK PROPOSALS THAT WORKED! Real Book Proposals That Landed $10K – $100K Publishing Contracts
Trying To “Trick” Editors Can (And Will) Backfire
Can’t Afford An Editor? Try These Four Fun Steps For A Much Cleaner Manuscript!
Got questions about Print On Demand and Self-publishing? Ask Angela Hoy.
About The Author
Angela Hoy is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, the author of 19 books, and the co-owner of BookLocker.com (one of the original POD publishers that still gets books to market in less than a month), PubPreppers.com (print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish), and Abuzz Press (the publishing co-op that charges no setup fees).
Angela has lived and traveled across the U.S. with her kids in an RV, settled in a river-side home in Bradenton, FL, and lived on a 52 ft Irwin sailboat. Angela now resides on a mountaintop in Northwest Georgia, where she plans to spend the rest of her days bird watching, gardening, hiking, and taking in all of the amazing sunrises.
WritersWeekly.com - the free marketing ezine for writers, which features new paying markets and freelance job listings every Wednesday.
BookLocker.com - According to attorney Mark Levine, author of The Fine Print, BookLocker is: "As close to perfection as you're going to find in the world of ebook and POD publishing. The ebook royalties are the highest I've ever seen, and the print royalties are better than average. BookLocker understands what new authors experience, and have put together a package that is the best in the business. You can't go wrong here. Plus, they're selective and won't publish any manuscript just because it's accompanied by a check. Also, the web site is well trafficked. If you can find a POD or epublisher with as much integrity and dedication to selling authors' books, but with lower POD publishing fees, please let me know."
Abuzz Press offers FAST and FREE book publication, but only accepts a small percentage of submissions, and only works with U.S. authors.
PubPreppers.com - "We Prep, You Publish!" Print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish. Offers formatting and design services only, and then provides simple instructions for authors on where to sign up to have the print and ebook editions printed/listed/sold. Cut out the middle man. Keep 100% of what bookstores pay for your book!
Angela's POD Secrets Revealed Series can be found HERE.
Have a POD Book with another publisher? See if BookLocker can give you a better deal. (BookLocker offers "disgruntled author discounts" to those who want to move from other POD services.)
See BookLocker's publishing packages HERE.
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90+ DAYS OF PROMOTING YOUR BOOK ONLINE: Your Book's Daily Marketing Plan by Angela Hoy and Richard Hoy
Promoting your book online should be considered at least a part-time job. Highly successful authors spend more time promoting a book than they do writing it - a lot more.
We know what you're thinking. You're an author, not a marketer. Not to worry! We have more than a decade of successful online book selling experience under our belts and we're going to teach you how to promote your book effectively online...and almost all of our techniques are FREE!
Online book promotion is not only simple but, if you have a step-by-step, day-to-day marketing plan (this book!), it can also be a very artistic endeavor, which makes it fun for creative folks like you!
Yes, online book promoting can be EASY and FUN! Let us show you how, from Day 1 through Day 90...and beyond!
What if you got a query that substituted “they” for “he” and “she” as Brown University now does? An applicant, obviously an advocate of good grammar and good sense, rejected Brown.(See http://www.intellectualtakeout.org/blog/female-applicant-rejects-ivy-league-school-after-receiving-gender-neutral-acceptance-letter?roi=echo3-44087112223-42349141-55734809481e7f0f02d1f7c68864687d&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=8191745&utm_content=newsletter(8191745)&utm_term=newsletter.)
So would you reject the neutered query?
We would not reject a query because of that. But, we did reject the following queries, which came in just yesterday:
Good morning I am to write for writersweekly.com my article os ready topic is makeimg ways to male money from writting. Please replay soon.
subject line of email:
I am expert in writing article now i am sending you my article…
i consider my writing as average and i have been writing fr my college magazine and som journals…
Pingback: Puhleeeeease! Send Us a Good Query! We’ll Pay You, for Cryin’ Out Loud! | WritersWeekly.com
It’s hard to believe that people actually sent you those (supposed to be) query letters. Is it possible that they don’t know their ability to write is so limited?
I look forward to your weekly publication with so many useful, interesting articles and an occasional good laugh. Thanks!
I always enjoy and laugh at your worst query letters and book proposals, but this installment is over the top funny. Better than sex – almost. Shucks, I’m not even “confusionless” about the matter.