World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For August, 2017!

World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For August, 2017!

Oh, yes! We know you’re excited!! Today, we’re going to share another installment of our popular column, World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals.

Featured below are real quotes from query letters and book proposals submitted to us over the past few weeks.

Yes, we can learn from others’ mistakes!

In case you’re a new reader, please know that we are a publication about writing and publishing FOR WRITERS. When someone contacts us using our online contact form, directly above that form is a link to our writer’s guidelines. See if you recognize the themes below.

THE FIRST TWO SENTENCES OF AN ARTICLE SUBMITTED ON SPEC

It’s genuine that you are looking for an exhibited way to deal with benefit online. What do you know about Articles marketing ?

I THINK “NEEDS EDITING” IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT…

I have several manuscripts different stories and series Some still needs grammer and sentence structure editing I dont want it to go to waste can use the couple thousands it can bring for myself.

FIRST, I’M NOT A “SIR.” SECOND, WHAT IS A CHEAK?

hello sir
im dwarka shukla from indore. im single in the world and working a little press CS press im student of B.com
i want do job in your press
plz give me a chance im sending a articule in your mail ID plz cheak it.

UM, WHAT???

Looking into writing for profit two fold for others to be encouraged as well I profit too any sites that are good paying ones

IF YOU CAN’T EVEN SPELL WRITER, YOU SHOULD NOT APPLY FOR A WRITING ASSIGNMENT

I’d like to work with your firm as a writter, how do I start?

THE FIVE-WORD QUERY…WITH NO PUNCTUATION

I want to write something

WHAT IS “MALE MONEY” AND HOW CAN I GET SOME?

Good morning I am to write for writersweekly.com my article os ready topic is makeimg ways to male money from writting. Please replay soon.

FIRST OF ALL, YOUR SPACE BAR IS ON THE BLINK. SECOND, WHY WOULD A WRITING PUBLICATION BE INTERESTED IN ARTICLES ON CIVICS, POLITICS, AND THE ENVIRONMENT?

I am an amateur writer floating around some topics mainly what goes ‘today’…civic issues,wholesome political scenario,environmental concerns, problems regarding why the development is not sustainable etc.
Please give me an opportunity to be published

THE SUBJECT LINE OF HIS EMAIL

I am expert in writing article now i am sending you my article…

IF YOU’D CLICKED ON THE BOLD WORDS IN THE RED FONT DIRECTLY ABOVE OUR CONTACT FORM THAT YOU USED ON OUR WEBSITE, YOU’D KNOW. THAT IS THE LINK TO OUR WRITER’S GUIDELINES.

I am a blog writer, and i would like to share my articles. How do i go about it. How much do you pay per articles

I THINK I ALREADY KNOW WHAT THE QUALITY IS GOING TO BE…

Please let me know if I can proceed with sending you one blog to check the qulaity.

DON’T USE CELL PHONE TEXT ABBREVIATIONS WHEN QUERYING AND WHY WOULD A WRITING PUBLICATION BE INTERESTED IN THIS TOPIC??

I want to write in ur website for students related to their study topics which help students in study.. please help me how can i start it with you

YOU NEED TO CONSIDER AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT PROFESSION…

i consider my writing as average and i have been writing fr my college magazine and som journals… so i wanted to start a career in article writing and have some god earnings for my family … i will need your suport in ths regard .

See more entertaining installments of World’s Worst Book Proposals and Query Letters HERE.

RELATED:

Wanna Get Paying Work? An Editor’s Open Letter to New Writers Who Don’t Yet Know What the (Bleep) They’re Doing
Copies of real query letters that resulted in writing assignments worth $2K and much more!
If This Article Offends You, You’re Not a Professional Writer
BOOK PROPOSALS THAT WORKED! Real Book Proposals That Landed $10K – $100K Publishing Contracts
Can’t Afford An Editor? Try These Four Fun Steps For A Much Cleaner Manuscript!
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Angela Hoy is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, and the co-owner of BookLocker.com (one of the original POD publishers that still gets books to market in less than a month), PubPreppers.com (print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish), and Abuzz Press (the publishing co-op that charges no setup fees).

WritersWeekly.com - the free marketing ezine for writers, which features new paying markets and freelance job listings every Wednesday.

BookLocker.com - According to attorney Mark Levine, author of The Fine Print, BookLocker is: "As close to perfection as you're going to find in the world of ebook and POD publishing. The ebook royalties are the highest I've ever seen, and the print royalties are better than average. BookLocker understands what new authors experience, and have put together a package that is the best in the business. You can't go wrong here. Plus, they're selective and won't publish any manuscript just because it's accompanied by a check. Also, the web site is well trafficked. If you can find a POD or epublisher with as much integrity and dedication to selling authors' books, but with lower POD publishing fees, please let me know."

Abuzz Press offers FAST and FREE book publication, but only accepts a small percentage of submissions, and only works with U.S. authors.

PubPreppers.com - "We Prep, You Publish!" Print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish. Offers formatting and design services only, and then provides simple instructions for authors on where to sign up to have the print and ebook editions printed/listed/sold. Cut out the middle man. Keep 100% of what bookstores pay for your book!

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Have a POD Book with another publisher? See if BookLocker can give you a better deal. (BookLocker offers "disgruntled author discounts" to those who want to move from other POD services.)

See BookLocker's publishing packages HERE.

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6 Responses to "World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For August, 2017!"

  1. patriziamartinelli  August 20, 2017 at 10:43 am

    As an Italian writer who is searching for a foreign publisher, reading this column always makes me worry. Who knows how many mistakes I made in my “pidgin English” letters to editors and publishing houses…
    Wouldn’t you please reconsider the good, old Latin as an universal language?

  2. pamelaallegretto  August 4, 2017 at 4:14 pm

    What is a “wholesome political scenario?” Wholesome and politics, isn’t that like oil and water?

  3. Wendy Jones  August 4, 2017 at 3:29 pm

    Angela,
    Having read several of these ‘Worse Query’ installments, I have come to the conclusion that you have a flood of foreigners responding to WritersWeekly.com
    No one could possible write an inquiry that is as bad as the ones I have been reading and be a native-speaking American. You must actually get some well-written queries once in a blue moon–don’t you?

    • brian  August 10, 2017 at 3:47 pm

      Sure, we get lots of normal queries. But even some of the well-written ones ask to write on topics we don’t cover in WritersWeekly. These are just the absolute worst ones that jump up at us and yell “BOO!”

      Brian

  4. Damien Black  August 4, 2017 at 7:31 am

    Insightful as always and funny, I too get frustrated with text abbreviations from my colleagues.