World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For November, 2016!

World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For November, 2016!
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Oh, yes! We know you’re excited!! Today, we’re going to share another installment of our popular column, World’s Worst Book Proposals and Query Letters. Featured below are real quotes from query letters and book proposals submitted to us over the past few weeks.

Yes, we can learn from others’ mistakes!

In case you’re a new reader, please know that we are a publication about writing and publishing FOR WRITERS. When someone contacts us using our online contact form, directly above that for is a link to our writer’s guidelines. See if you recognize the themes below.

 

VAGUE, CHOCK FULL OF ERRORS, AND OBVIOUSLY DIDN’T CLICK ON THE GUIDELINES LINK

Sir/Madam,
I would like to work with your organisation.Hence, I would like to know how shall I proceed & what shall i do inorder to work with the organisation.I am capable of doing the things & I am a keen learner . So, I would be highly oblized if you kindly acknowledge the matter & grant me your honour for the same.

ALL WRITERS SHOULD KNOW HOW TO SPELL “WRITING”

I enjoy writting, I’ve written a story and the following is what my story is all about. Let me know if you are keen so that I can send the full story.

ALL WRITERS SHOULD ALSO KNOW HOW TO SPELL “WRITE”

Hello there, I was wondering if there was any articles that i could right about?

I’M NOT SURE WHAT THIS MEANS, NOR WHY THIS PERSON THINKS SOMEONE WOULD HIRE HIM/HER BASED ON THESE SIX WORDS…WITH NO PUNCTUATION TO BOOT!

I want to write paid article

A GOOD WRITER, HUH???

Hire me I am a good writer . I can write 600 words articles with quality wrtiting and improved and good words. you will.absoulutely like my work .

“NECESSARY” FOR YOU???

Well, I actually want to write for writersweekly, I feel like is necessary for me and I’m fluent in both grammar and verbal speaking.

NEVER, EVER, EVER USE CELL PHONE ABBREVIATIONS WHEN CONTACTING EDITORS! AND, THERE’S A NIFTY PERIOD KEY ON YOUR CELLPHONE KEYBOARD. I RECOMMEND YOU FIND IT.

I want to write a article for u give me a chance to show u my skills

AN “EXPECT” WRITER WHO ALSO USES CELL PHONE ABBREVIATIONS

I am not a expect writer but still I am writing some stories if u give me the chance then I can publish my stories

YOUR WRITING STYLE IS NOT GOOD AND YOUR SPACE BAR IS HAVING SOME ISSUES

I am a College graduate. I can write in any topics ,my writing style is good .

ALL WRITERS SHOULD KNOW HOW TO SPELL “FOR”

Im Insterested in writing four your page.

UM, WHAT???

I like so much writing, I made a lot of experience at school, can you tell me an argoment for write and submit you an article?

DOES HE WANT TO GET RID OF THE “FEEL” OF IDEAS IN HIS MIND?

Lot of ideas come in to my mind and I have no plat form at the moment to elaborate them. I hope, this feel soon will come to an end.

ALWAYS CORRECTLY USE PAST- AND PRESENT-TENSE AND GRAMMAR WHEN APPROACHING EDITORS.

i have a great book to publish and the book is one of the best selling if it come out.

YOU COULD START BY CLICKING ON OUR WRITERS GUIDELINES LINK, WHICH IS DIRECTLY ABOVE THE BOX IN WHICH YOU TYPED YOUR MESSAGE.

hi dear how can i write articles for writers weekly??(how i sumbit the article? )and can i write more than article daily ? so i’ll get paid for each article right ?

WHEN AN AUTHOR CAN’T BE BOTHERED TO CHECK OUR GUIDELINES, I CAN’T BE BOTHERED TO RESPOND TO THEIR QUERY.

I got to know that you pay for writing and I myself has a deep keen in writing.

THIS IS NOT A GOOD INTRODUCTION. ANYBODY CAN GET A LETTER TO THE EDITOR PUBLISHED. MANY PAPERS ARE HUNGRY FOR THAT TYPE OF FREE CONTENT.

I’m not experienced but have written about 3 letters to the editors of our local community newspapers

WHY WOULD A WRITING- AND PUBLISHING-RELATED PUBLICATION PUBLISH AN ARTICLE ON COOKING?

Are you interesting articles have themes cooking?Thank you

PLEASE, PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!

i am (name removed) profession write, i want write an article for your website suggest any article title i’ll give you an article. let me know. waiting for your reply

See more entertaining installments of World’s Worst Book Proposals and Query Letters HERE 

RELATED:



Copies of real query letters that resulted in writing assignments worth $2K and much more!





 

 

If This Article Offends You, You’re Not a Professional Writer

When Freelance Writers are Toxic, Unstable, and Abusive to Editors

BOOK PROPOSALS THAT WORKED! Real Book Proposals That Landed $10K – $100K Publishing Contracts

Trying To “Trick” Editors Can (And Will) Backfire

Can’t Afford An Editor? Try These Four Fun Steps For A Much Cleaner Manuscript!



About The Author

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Angela Hoy is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, and the co-owner of BookLocker.com (one of the original POD publishers that still gets books to market in less than a month), PubPreppers.com (print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish), and Abuzz Press (the publishing co-op that charges no setup fees).

WritersWeekly.com - the free marketing ezine for writers, which features new paying markets and freelance job listings every Wednesday.

BookLocker.com - According to attorney Mark Levine, author of The Fine Print, BookLocker is: "As close to perfection as you're going to find in the world of ebook and POD publishing. The ebook royalties are the highest I've ever seen, and the print royalties are better than average. BookLocker understands what new authors experience, and have put together a package that is the best in the business. You can't go wrong here. Plus, they're selective and won't publish any manuscript just because it's accompanied by a check. Also, the web site is well trafficked. If you can find a POD or epublisher with as much integrity and dedication to selling authors' books, but with lower POD publishing fees, please let me know."

Abuzz Press offers FAST and FREE book publication, but only accepts a small percentage of submissions, and only works with U.S. authors.

PubPreppers.com - "We Prep, You Publish!" Print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish. Offers formatting and design services only, and then provides simple instructions for authors on where to sign up to have the print and ebook editions printed/listed/sold. Cut out the middle man. Keep 100% of what bookstores pay for your book!

Angela's POD Secrets Revealed Series can be found HERE.

Got questions about Print On Demand and Self-publishing? Ask Angela.

Have a POD Book with another publisher? See if BookLocker can give you a better deal. (BookLocker offers "disgruntled author discounts" to those who want to move from other POD services.)

See BookLocker's publishing packages HERE.

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4 Responses to "World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For November, 2016!"

  1. Margaret Garside  November 4, 2016 at 4:35 pm

    These people seem to think they’re sending tweets or casual emails. A query letter is like any other business letter. Anyone who knows even the basics of writing as a profession knows that, whether you’ve been professionally published or not. That said, these are a hoot.

  2. tigerlilly  November 2, 2016 at 9:06 pm

    These are almost too painful to read. Correction…they are definitely painful to read. Pay is mentioned quite readily but there isn’t much depth.

  3. pamelaallegretto  November 2, 2016 at 3:38 pm

    What???!!! It almost seems as though all these writers are the same person. If not, can there really be so many “writers” out these who can’t spell write right?

  4. Wendy Jones  November 2, 2016 at 11:09 am

    Query Letters….you’ve got to be kidding!

    I find it almost impossible to believe that these ‘notes’ — I certainly wouldn’t call them query letters — came from adults. With the exception of the – ‘Dear Sir/Madam’ – note, not a one of them really expresses a complete thought.