Check out the WritersWeekly Podcast – Episode 4, which is on this same hilarious topic! And, find out how to get free copies of two of Angela’s books, Query Letters That Worked and Book Proposals That Worked!

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It’s that time again!! The non-sensical emails with off topic pitches, badly worded questions, and meaningless statements keep rolling in. Today, we’re going to share another installment of our popular column, World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals.

We’ve been saving these for a few weeks now so there are a LOT to entertain you! As always, we’ve saved the best for last!

Featured below are real quotes from query letters and book proposals submitted to us over the past few weeks. Yes, we can learn from others’ mistakes!

In case you’re a new reader, please know that we are a publication about writing and publishing FOR WRITERS. When someone contacts us using our online contact form, directly above that form is a link to our writer’s guidelines, in a very large, bold, red font. The link to our guidelines is also at the top of every page on our website.

Are you ready? ENJOY!

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Am really looking forward to work with you

THIS is your query letter?! When approaching an editor for writing work, be sure to use professionalism, along with correct grammar and punctuation. Oh, and don’t forget to read the writer’s guidelines first to avoid wasting  your AND MY time.

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I just want to tell other about my writing and it’s good if I earn profit by writing

Editors do not give writers feedback on writing they didn’t do for the editor’s publication. There are professionals that will be happy to do that for you for a free. And, read what I posted under the message directly above. 

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I WANTED TO SUBMIT THESE ARTICLE.

# 10 Scary Facts About Salt You Didn’t Know

That has absolutely nothing to do with the topic of our publication. 

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The Hidden Side of Human Nature: Why We Keep, Share, and Feel Secrets and Love

Please explain to me how this has anything at all to do with writing and publishing.

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I want to get article published.

Lots of people want to get their articles published. But, the smart ones research the publication read the publication’s writer’s guidelines BEFORE contacting the editor. 

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Thank you for the opportunity to submit to Writers Week. I’ve attached my article, I look forward to your feedback.

The article had NOTHING to do with writing and publishing. It’s also a very good idea to confirm the name of the publication before contacting them…so you can spell it correctly.

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I was browsing writersweekly today and was impressed by the quality of your pet care content.

This was an automated email with the publication’s name inserted. They can send thousands of these out per minute. Of course, we never respond to those. We also don’t respond to people who don’t read our writer’s guidelines, nor people who clearly have NO idea what we cover in WritersWeekly.

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Sir
I have already send mails to you.
Sir please check me mail and give me good newsresponce

First of all, I’m not a sir. Second, he can’t write for an English-language publication if he can’t write proper English. Third, he didn’t read our writer’s guidelines, so he will never get a response from me. I blocked his email address. 

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Hi WritersWeekly Team,

I hope you’re doing well.

I’ve been reading WritersWeekly and appreciate the valuable resources you provide for writers. I wanted to ask if you’re currently considering article pitches from external contributors.

If so, I’d be happy to share a few original story ideas that I believe would be a good fit for your audience. Please let me know the best way to submit a query and any requirements I should follow.

Looking forward to your response.

Best regards,
Mary

Notice that she never mentioned anything specific. This is an AI-written pitch that she (more than like a he) overseas sends all over the Internet in the hopes that one editor will bite. They won’t. 

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Hello, i just wrote my article on why smart people still make bad decisions

Good for you! Why are you emailing me about it? Oh! You’re a smart person who made the bad decision of emailing me without researching our publication first! Got it! 

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(???)

Yep, that’s literally all he sent.

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I recently visited your website and found your content both informative and valuable. I would like to contribute a unique, high-quality article that is relevant to your audience and aligns with your website’s focus on Home Improvement, Gardening, and Landscaping.

You know that saying, “If you throw enough (bleep) at the wall, some of it might stick?” Nice try, dude. DELETE.

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Book Proposal
Book title: Ear infection in Young children

The entire book was one paragraph written by AI. Even AI can’t fix some grammatical errors!

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Can I make a weekly earnings writing for you?

Nope!

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I have a bachelor’s degree in Animal Science from Colombia. I am reaching out to you because I am interested in writing articles related to sustainable agricultural production.

More mass-email poop hoping to stick somewhere! 

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Greetings People Of God,
I’m a new writer from Cameroon.I want to write for you.What is needed?.

You can start by actually reading our publication AND our writer’s guidelines!

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Hello I have written my article sand ready to submit. Below is the article

CONFLICT DOESN’T HAVE TO END RELATIONSHIPS: 17 PROVEN WAYS TO RESOLVE DISAGREEMENTS PEACEFULLY.

Why are all these people WASTING MY TIME?!?!

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From AI Monkey Agent Value Network ( binhaitjzhda@gmail.com )

This company keeps sending us crap!!! And remember, no legitimate business uses Gmail to conduct business. They use email addresses with their company’s domain name in them. 

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I want this job because i have many stories in any field.

If you can’t be bothered to research our publication, and pitch according to our guidelines, I can’t be bothered to respond to your email. 

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Would you please kindly receive the below topic within 400 words? I’d like to send an article about “save money”.
(Signature was in Chinese)

(Forehead slap…)

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we want to apply an article on your website

Great! Click on the writer’s guidelines link that appears ON THE TOP OF EVERY SINGLE PAGE ON OUR WEBSITE, and follow those directions!!

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am I chatting with Angela?

This is not a query letter or a book proposal. This came from a scammer who has contacted us (and many authors) numerous times. They’re fishing for working email addresses. NEVER RESPOND!!! If you do, they will share/sell your contact information with other scammers, and then you, too, will receive dozens of emails from scammers every day like I do. DO NOT ENGAGE!

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Hey Angela,

Just reaching out one last time in case you didn’t get a chance to see my earlier messages.

Totally fine if now’s not the right time. I’d just really appreciate a quick reply either way when you get a moment.

Enjoy the rest of your day.

Dragging to my email trashcan now!

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Send me the writing work by email. Email me.

Editors don’t respond to so-called “writers” who tell editors to do something. You’ve been blocked. 

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My question is would you publish an article pertaining to the inner process of psychological healing and how sometimes the experts suggested reading, journal prompts are more inflammatory than cathartic.

Why in the world would we do THAT?!?!

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I wrote a little short story about how wemoms mind works. The way the instructions, and the little things that I picked up the things that they don’t have any idea what they, can’t not conceal from me.

Um…. WHAT in the WORLD are you talking about??? And, HOW in the WORLD is it related to writing or publishing?!?!

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See more entertaining installments of World’s Worst Book Proposals and Query Letters RIGHT HERE.

Please tell us what you think in the comments box below! 🙂

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• Copies of real query letters that resulted in writing assignments worth $2K and much more!
• If This Article Offends You, You’re Not a Professional Writer
• Can’t Afford An Editor? Try These Four Fun Steps For A Much Cleaner Manuscript!
• More opinionated articles from Angela’s Desk

Have questions about Writing, Print On Demand, or Self-publishing? Ask Angela.