How to protect children’s privacy in stories

I’ve enjoyed your magazine for the past couple of years, both informative and entertaining. I’ve seen the columns where you “give advice” and I could use a little help myself. I write fiction and my wife has just caught the “writing bug” and has decided to write about her adventures with our two kids and six foster kids.

In this day and age, legalities abound, so can you tell me if we can we use the children’s real names in her stories? I know we have to stay away from the circumstances that brought them too us. In the context of the story, can we tell “embarrassing things” such as bed wetting or things that they have said? My wife’s story is about her personal growth and what the children have taught her along the way. The children range in age between 4 and 9.

Thanks for your help and time.