World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For November, 2018!

World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For November, 2018!

Oh, yes! We know you’re excited!! Today, we’re going to share another installment of our popular column, World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals.

Featured below are real quotes from query letters and book proposals submitted to us over the past few weeks. Yes, we can learn from others’ mistakes!

In case you’re a new reader, please know that we are a publication about writing and publishing FOR WRITERS. When someone contacts us using our online contact form, directly above that form is a link to our writer’s guidelines, in a very large, bold, red font. The link to our guidelines is also at the top of every page on our website.

BELOW ARE THE FIRST TWO SENTENCES IN THE BOOK. A WORD WAS MISSPELLED IN THE TITLE OF THE BOOK, TOO!

I Grow up in a small town called (name removed) were everyone know everyone or they were family or friends of families my mom and my younger brotheer and i we lived on the outside of the county part of it .my mother had five kiiids three boys and two girls i was the baby girl my two older brothers lived with there father they had the same father my older sister lived with my grandmother which is my mothers mother.

THIS WRITER CLAIMED TO RUN AN EDUCATIONAL WEBSITE.

I want to send my Articles and earn. Please help me how can I do this ?

WHAT IN THE WORLD IS AN ENTITLED TITTLE?!

Here come my second tittle entitled > Is It Easier To Publish A Children’s Book?

UM, WHAT???

Most magazines and diaries that compensation won’t acknowledge a join together in the event that it has appear to be on the web.

SOMETIMES, DREAMS DO NOT COME TRUE…

let’s start form the beginning…as a child I had a lucid dream that I would have been a writer.

FOREHEAD SLAP…

How to I am got a payment

WELL, FIRST YOU TURN THE KEY, AND THEN YOU REV YOUR ENGINE, AND THEN YOU PUT IT IN GEAR…

Can I have further information on how to be started

MY EYES WERE GLUED TO THE DELETE BUTTON.

I intend to join the community, just because i feel i have the very words that will keep your eyes glued to the screen.

IF YOU CAN’T SPELL ARTICLE (AFTER 3 TRIES!), YOU CAN’T WRITE FOR US.

I wanna write artical as u like to tell me . you send Artical name and I write artical .. Thanks

EVEN BEGINNING WRITERS USUALLY GET THE PLURAL FORM RIGHT.

I am a beginner in writing who has a flair for writing articles which relate to our day to day life’s.

IF YOU’D BOTHERED TO READ OUR WRITER’S GUIDELINES, YOU WOULDN’T NEED TO ASK ME THAT QUESTION. THE LINK IS ON THE TOP OF EVERY SINGLE PAGE ON OUR WEBSITE. 

I want to write article. What article do you need? Thanks

I READ THIS THREE TIMES AND I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HE’S SAYING.

I have interest in writing field so I have written a matter regarding to most new logics based economic matter. It is written in English language. Because I have to face critical marketing position so I want to obtain your support to overcome this problem (I require to obtain support for sale my book’s contents which is attached with this letter). We (You and I) must have cautious that there is no create chances of misuse of copyright or create piracy as far as possible.

THE SUBJECT LINE OF HIS EMAIL CONTAINED ONE WORD.

Sumbimmision

See more entertaining installments of World’s Worst Book Proposals and Query Letters RIGHT HERE.

Please tell us what you think in the comments box below! 🙂

RELATED

Have questions about Writing, Print On Demand, or Self-publishing? Ask Angela.



Got questions about Print On Demand and Self-publishing? Ask Angela Hoy.

About The Author

AngelaPortrait72dpismall_400x400

Angela Hoy is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, the author of 19 books, and the co-owner of BookLocker.com (one of the original POD publishers that still gets books to market in less than a month), PubPreppers.com (print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish), and Abuzz Press (the publishing co-op that charges no setup fees).

Angela has lived and traveled across the U.S. with her kids in an RV, settled in a river-side home in Bradenton, FL, and lived on a 52 ft Irwin sailboat. Angela now resides on a mountaintop in Northwest Georgia, where she plans to spend the rest of her days bird watching, gardening, hiking, and taking in all of the amazing sunrises.

WritersWeekly.com - the free marketing ezine for writers, which features new paying markets and freelance job listings every Wednesday.

BookLocker.com - According to attorney Mark Levine, author of The Fine Print, BookLocker is: "As close to perfection as you're going to find in the world of ebook and POD publishing. The ebook royalties are the highest I've ever seen, and the print royalties are better than average. BookLocker understands what new authors experience, and have put together a package that is the best in the business. You can't go wrong here. Plus, they're selective and won't publish any manuscript just because it's accompanied by a check. Also, the web site is well trafficked. If you can find a POD or epublisher with as much integrity and dedication to selling authors' books, but with lower POD publishing fees, please let me know."

Abuzz Press offers FAST and FREE book publication, but only accepts a small percentage of submissions, and only works with U.S. authors.

PubPreppers.com - "We Prep, You Publish!" Print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish. Offers formatting and design services only, and then provides simple instructions for authors on where to sign up to have the print and ebook editions printed/listed/sold. Cut out the middle man. Keep 100% of what bookstores pay for your book!

Angela's POD Secrets Revealed Series can be found HERE.

Have a POD Book with another publisher? See if BookLocker can give you a better deal. (BookLocker offers "disgruntled author discounts" to those who want to move from other POD services.)


See BookLocker's publishing packages HERE.


ANGELA ON TWITTER https://twitter.com/AngelaHoy


BOOKLOCKER ON FACEBOOK - Provides links to free excerpts!
https://www.facebook.com/booklockerbooks


ANGELA ON FACEBOOK
https://www.facebook.com/angela.hoy.750


ANGELA ON LINKEDIN
https://www.linkedin.com/pub/angela-hoy/78/719/390


Angela is the creator of the Original 24-Hour Short Story Contest!
https://24hourshortstorycontest.com/



Read More Of Angela's Articles HERE

 



90+ DAYS OF PROMOTING YOUR BOOK ONLINE: Your Book's Daily Marketing Plan by Angela Hoy and Richard Hoy

Promoting your book online should be considered at least a part-time job. Highly successful authors spend more time promoting a book than they do writing it - a lot more.

We know what you're thinking. You're an author, not a marketer. Not to worry! We have more than a decade of successful online book selling experience under our belts and we're going to teach you how to promote your book effectively online...and almost all of our techniques are FREE!

Online book promotion is not only simple but, if you have a step-by-step, day-to-day marketing plan (this book!), it can also be a very artistic endeavor, which makes it fun for creative folks like you!

Yes, online book promoting can be EASY and FUN! Let us show you how, from Day 1 through Day 90...and beyond!

 

 



The Do-It-Yourselfer's Guide to Self-Syndication


Practical resource outlining the self-syndication process, step-by-step. Packed with detailed information and useful tips for writers looking to gain readership, name recognition, publication and self-syndication for their column or articles.







https://writersweekly.com/books/4693.html



5 Responses to "World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For November, 2018!"

  1. Tatiana  November 29, 2018 at 10:22 pm

    What a great reading on this gloomy day in Indiana! Thank you, Angela, for giving us these enjoyable articles!

  2. Anonymous  November 21, 2018 at 12:40 pm

    Have you ever calculated how many hours a month you spend reading and answering these crazy queries?

    • By Angela Hoy - Publisher of WritersWeekly.com  November 21, 2018 at 1:37 pm

      We don’t mind because they provide us with endless material for this ongoing series!! And, they’re funny as heck!! 😉

      Angela

  3. drdebra  November 20, 2018 at 9:01 pm

    lol!

  4. Margaret Tessler  November 20, 2018 at 4:20 pm

    Re: World’s Worst Query Letters:
    We’re all victims of the occasional typo, so maybe I shouldn’t laugh. But I do.
    I may sumbit a “articul” to you yet.
    Thanks for keeping us on our toes!