December 07, 2005
When Authors Are Jerks: Using Insults And Profanity To Manipulate Does Not Work! By Angela Hoy | printable version
In the BookLocker submission guidelines, we feature this note: "All BookLocker authors are part of our family. We treat all authors with the same kindness and a smile. We don't work with "prima donna" authors-people who think they're more important than other BookLocker authors. To put it simply, we don't work with jerks. If you fit this description, please do not submit your manuscript to us."
The funny thing is this statement really seems to offend the "jerks" out there and makes everybody else (the nice people) laugh. So, it's been a very good way of weeding out the "jerks." Let's face it, life's too short to work with jerks, even if they're willing to pay us to do so.
Every once in awhile, one of those jerks will send us a scathing diatribe about how our statements mean we're self-righteous, horrible human beings. I received once such letter by mail this week. The sender doesn't have Internet access or an email account and said he got our website information from a relative. The letter is 2 pages, 8.5 x 11, single spaced. The first 1 1/2 pages are full of insults, name-calling and even profanity, which show the sender was obviously insulted by our use of the words "jerk" and "prima donna." The more I read, the more I laughed because it must have taken this person at least half an hour to come up with all those insults. I mean, talk about a complete waste of time and angry energy!
After reading the first 1-1/2 pages out loud to Richard and Zach, I began reading the last paragraph. I swear this isn't a joke. He concluded his diatribe with, "I have this book I want you to publish..." Ha ha! We will, of course, not do so and I'm not even going to waste 37 cents on a stamp to respond to his insults and profanity. This appears to be one of those people who use insults and profanity to try to stun you into doing what they want you to do. We're way too smart to fall for that old trick!
Well, I thought you'd all get a chuckle out of that today.
Now, get back to your shopping and wrapping!
P.S. You can read a previous installment of this funny column HERE.