World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For March, 2016!

World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For March, 2016!
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Oh, yes! We know you’re excited!! Today, I’m going to share another installment of our popular column, World’s Worst Book Proposals and Query Letters. Featured below are real quotes from query letters and book proposals submitted to us over the past few weeks.

Yes, we can learn from others’ mistakes!

In case you’re a new reader, please know that we are a publication about writing and publishing FOR WRITERS. See if you can recognize the theme of errors below.

THERE, THEIR, THEY’RE – NOW, DON’T BE UPSET WHEN I HAVE TO REJECT YOUR QUERY FOR MISSING CAPITALIZATION AND PUNCTUATION, AND INCORRECT WORD USAGE.
i have a article which help readers to increase there knowledge

UNFORTUNATELY, NO, YOU CAN’T.
i like writing can be writer here?

REALLY? I HAVE SOME DOUBTS ABOUT THAT…
hy I m really good at free lancing

RUN-ON SENTENCE + MISSING AND INCORRECT PUNCTUATION = REJECTION LETTER
I want to write articles for your site what’s the process.

WHY WOULD A WRITING-RELATED PUBLICATION BE INTERESTED IN THIS? WE DELETE THESE TYPES OF QUERIES WITHOUT RESPONDING.
Are you interested in an article on whether the legal world is ready for conscious uncoupling?

THIS COULDN’T BE MORE OFF-TOPIC AND HER PERIOD AND QUESTION MARK KEYS ARE APPARENTLY BROKEN.
I want to write my personal story “How I started donating blood”
Can I send you my story

WHY WOULD I PUBLISH SUCH AN ARTICLE?
I would like to submit for your review a recent article I created for the subject of Netflix’s most recent hit ‘Making A Murderer’.

THIS PERSON USED OUR CONTACT PAGE TO SEND ME THIS MESSAGE.
Does your website have a contact page? I’m having problems locating it.

INCORRECT WORD USAGE AND COMPLETELY OFF-TOPIC.
Please find attached and article on long distance marriage, showing the struggles of this generation youth.

IF YOU CAN’T BE BOTHERED TO RESEARCH OUR PUBLICATION, I CAN’T BE BOTHERED TO RESPOND TO YOUR QUERY.
do you need an article about helicopters? careers or simply how a helicopter works? Thanks

READ OUR WRITER’S GUIDELINES. THE LINK IS ON THE PAGE YOU USED TO SEND ME THIS MESSAGE.
How can I submit my paragraph  &  how I collect my money ?

SHAKING MY HEAD…
i am a fresh writer need some money by writing i am very much interested in articles[Political or non political] and short stories please let me know your requirement and type.

WE HAVE NEVER PUBLISHED JOKES, AND NEVER WILL.
I live in nigeria , and I know how to write joke a lot ; I want to ask how I can sell my jokes in this site

NO, WE CAN’T WORK WITH YOU BECAUSE WE KNOW YOUR ARTICLE WILL HAVE THE SAME TYPES OF ERRORS AS YOUR QUERY.
Hello, I wrote an article about online jobs by writing. you publish it?

SPEECHLESS…
Hi how are you, hope you will be Good, i’m student of 2nd Year and i want to get online writing job, bcs of my Financial Problems and it pays me well, or I’m not suitable for those Jobs, you can give me an advise what to do, that gives me a success Profit .

WE DON’T PUBLISH POETRY, AND NEVER WILL. RESEARCH YOUR MARKET.
I want to publish a poem on writersweekly.com. kindly guide me through the procedure of publishing.

SHORTEST QUERY EVER!
you need writers maam

DESPERATION IS VERY UNPROFESSIONAL…AND SO ARE ERRORS.
How can I summit my writing to you and how much can i get paid and I will do anything to get paid even if it takes all day and night even weeks I love my work and need to get money for my family

NO NO NO NO NO!!!
i need a gud job in online to make my future bright i just have a creative skill

YOU’RE EXPECTING PAYMENT FOR SOMETHING I DIDN’T ORDER, NOR THAT I WOULD EVER USE?
Kindly find the  attachment its an article about Food allergy and food intolerance
in children. I’m  expecting a payment for this article.

PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!
im an article writer. here to give you my best and unique articles

AFTER REJECTING A BOOK WITH UNCOMPREHENSIBLE WRITING, I WAS ACCUSED OF PLANNING TO STEAL THEIR MANUSCRIPT.
do not try what am thinking. it’s already protected under copyright.
incase you never knew the full name, its barister (real first and last name removed).

See more entertaining installments of World’s Worst Book Proposals and Query Letters HERE.

RELATED:

If This Article Offends You, You’re Not a Professional Writer

When Freelance Writers are Toxic, Unstable, and Abusive to Editors

Trying To “Trick” Editors Can (And Will) Backfire

QUERY LETTERS THAT WORKED! Real Queries That Landed $2K+ Writing Assignments

BOOK PROPOSALS THAT WORKED! Real Book Proposals That Landed $10K – $100K Publishing Contracts

Can’t Afford An Editor? Try These Four Fun Steps For A Much Cleaner Manuscript!



About The Author

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Angela Hoy is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, and the co-owner of BookLocker.com (one of the original POD publishers that still gets books to market in less than a month), PubPreppers.com (print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish), and Abuzz Press (the publishing co-op that charges no setup fees).

WritersWeekly.com - the free marketing ezine for writers, which features new paying markets and freelance job listings every Wednesday.

BookLocker.com - According to attorney Mark Levine, author of The Fine Print, BookLocker is: "As close to perfection as you're going to find in the world of ebook and POD publishing. The ebook royalties are the highest I've ever seen, and the print royalties are better than average. BookLocker understands what new authors experience, and have put together a package that is the best in the business. You can't go wrong here. Plus, they're selective and won't publish any manuscript just because it's accompanied by a check. Also, the web site is well trafficked. If you can find a POD or epublisher with as much integrity and dedication to selling authors' books, but with lower POD publishing fees, please let me know."

Abuzz Press offers FAST and FREE book publication, but only accepts a small percentage of submissions, and only works with U.S. authors.

PubPreppers.com - "We Prep, You Publish!" Print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish. Offers formatting and design services only, and then provides simple instructions for authors on where to sign up to have the print and ebook editions printed/listed/sold. Cut out the middle man. Keep 100% of what bookstores pay for your book!

Angela's POD Secrets Revealed Series can be found HERE.

Got questions about Print On Demand and Self-publishing? Ask Angela.

Have a POD Book with another publisher? See if BookLocker can give you a better deal. (BookLocker offers "disgruntled author discounts" to those who want to move from other POD services.)

See BookLocker's publishing packages HERE.

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https://twitter.com/AngelaHoy

BOOKLOCKER ON FACEBOOK - Provides links to free excerpts!
http://www.facebook.com/booklockerbooks

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http://angelahoy-writersweekly.tumblr.com/

Angela is the creator of the Original 24-Hour Short Story Contest!
http://24hourshortstorycontest.com/



Read More Of Angela's Articles HERE



Yes, online book promoting can be EASY and FUN! Let us show you how, from Day 1 through Day 90…and beyond!



6 Responses to "World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For March, 2016!"

  1. Lynn  March 31, 2016 at 9:03 am

    I think they all graduated from the Barefoot Writer’s Club.

  2. Linda G  March 29, 2016 at 6:36 pm

    Hey Ang,

    You have more patience in one hand than I could ever have or want in my entire being. Blessings!

  3. pamelaallegretto  March 29, 2016 at 1:56 pm

    I agree with Judith: a collection of these “queries” would make a best seller!

  4. Judith Yero  March 26, 2016 at 10:05 am

    Hi Angela-

    I must disagree with one of these. You say you never publish jokes and never will, but if a joke is something that makes people laugh, a collection of these “queries” would be a best seller! 🙂 Thanks for starting my day with a lot of laughs!

    Judith Yero, author
    Teaching in Mind: How Teacher Thinking Shapes Education
    http://booklocker.com/books/5094.html

  5. Debra  March 25, 2016 at 10:39 pm

    I always enjoy the bad queries column! This one in particular made me smile:
    THIS PERSON USED OUR CONTACT PAGE TO SEND ME THIS MESSAGE.
    Does your website have a contact page? I’m having problems locating it.

    • admin  March 28, 2016 at 11:22 am

      Yes, they USED the actual contact form to ask for…a contact form.