World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For April, 2017!

World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For April, 2017!

Oh, yes! We know you’re excited!! Today, we’re going to share another installment of our popular column, World’s Worst Book Proposals and Query Letters.

Featured below are real quotes from query letters and book proposals submitted to us over the past few weeks.

Yes, we can learn from others’ mistakes!

In case you’re a new reader, please know that we are a publication about writing and publishing FOR WRITERS. When someone contacts us using our online contact form, directly above that form is a link to our writer’s guidelines. See if you recognize the themes below.

THE ONE-SENTENCE QUERY LETTER

I can I get paid for writing.

UM, WHAT???

You see an ad. The same ad with you text may see many.

IF YOU WANT TO BE A WRITER, STUDY QUERY LETTERS BEFORE CONTACTING EDITORS

I want to do work from home. Please tell me that how am i join this.

WHY WOULD A WRITING PUBLICATION OFFER EROTICA TO ITS READERS?

iam interested about an erotic story , what is the procedure ?

HE USED ONE WORD IN THE EMAIL SUBJECT LINE…AND SPELLED IT WRONG.

querry

THE FIVE-WORD QUERY LETTER (WITH NO PUNCTUATION).

I want write for you

IF YOU CAN’T SPELL WRITER CORRECTLY, YOU SHOULD REALLY CONSIDER ANOTHER LINE OF WORK…

Hello.I will like to be a writter on your website.So What will do.

AND ANOTHER…

Do you have need for my asigment? I am writter that is very skilled in many areas

AND YET ANOTHER!

I would like to be a writter on writters weekly.com i have tried severally to apply but i dont seem to be getting through.

SPEECHLESS…

i want to make me a story ! i will give you only a few quiding about the topic !
is this possible ?
i have not a story in hadwritten that i want to print !

SPEECHLESS AGAIN…

Please make me confusionless I am truely desperate to make money and bright my name.

IF YOU DON’T SPEAK AND WRITE ENGLISH FLUENTLY, READ THIS BEFORE APPROACHING ENGLISH-LANGUAGE PUBLICATIONS.

I have only one question, is it mandatory to write in english? What is article is in another language?

FOREHEAD SLAP…

Written is a good as own. it’s like good habit or like a good profession as you think.in my mind it’s a emotional happyness.

SUBJECT LINE OF THIS WRITER’S EMAIL

Want Write article for sell

PLEASE DO NOT DRINK AND QUERY…

At wat matter I have to write?
Will you select it or I have to white. ..?

THIS WRITER OBVIOUSLY DID NOT STUDY HIS MARKET BEFORE QUERYING.

I want to publish my first article about one of the seven wonders of the world, Taj Mahal in your renowned website.

NOT USING SPELL-CHECK CAN DOOM YOUR CHANCES OF LANDING A FREELANCE JOB.

I want to work as freelncer

RESEARCH THE PUBLICATION FIRST SO YOU DON’T NEED TO ASK ABOUT PAYMENT UP FRONT. OUR GUIDELINES CLEARLY STATE OUR PAY RATES, AS WELL AS HOW TO SEND IN QUERIES.

do i send my article via e mail?how can i get my paymet in my account

FALSE FLATTERY IS INSULTING TO EDITORS. GET TO THE POINT. WHAT ARTICLE ARE YOU PROPOSING?

I have always had the penchant for writing and latelyI came across your site “writersweekly.com” and I was quite smitten by it.

WHAT SHOULD YOU DO? LEARN CORRECT PUNCTUATION AND SPELLING.

hi a want to right what should a do

REPEAT AFTER ME. DO NOT USE CELL PHONE ABBREVIATIONS WHEN QUERYING!

I have mailed u an article. If u find it is worthy I continue writing for u.

HEY, READ THE PUBLICATION’S GUIDELINES BEFORE INITIATING CONTACT!

hey I write articles, let me know if you are interested.

WE SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST. DOES ANYONE ELSE SEE THE HUMOROUS IRONY IN THIS BOOK PROPOSAL?

With all the blessings god can give!
I pray your prosperous and loving and kind. I think we can
Write some really exciting romance and erotic novels. Im blesses and highly favored. And my prayerfor you is to contact me with gods favor

See more entertaining installments of World’s Worst Book Proposals and Query Letters HERE.

RELATED:

Copies of real query letters that resulted in writing assignments worth $2K and much more!

If This Article Offends You, You’re Not a Professional Writer

When Freelance Writers are Toxic, Unstable, and Abusive to Editors

BOOK PROPOSALS THAT WORKED! Real Book Proposals That Landed $10K – $100K Publishing Contracts

Trying To “Trick” Editors Can (And Will) Backfire

Can’t Afford An Editor? Try These Four Fun Steps For A Much Cleaner Manuscript!



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Angela Hoy is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, and the co-owner of BookLocker.com (one of the original POD publishers that still gets books to market in less than a month), PubPreppers.com (print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish), and Abuzz Press (the publishing co-op that charges no setup fees).

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Abuzz Press offers FAST and FREE book publication, but only accepts a small percentage of submissions, and only works with U.S. authors.

PubPreppers.com - "We Prep, You Publish!" Print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish. Offers formatting and design services only, and then provides simple instructions for authors on where to sign up to have the print and ebook editions printed/listed/sold. Cut out the middle man. Keep 100% of what bookstores pay for your book!

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See BookLocker's publishing packages HERE.

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6 Responses to "World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For April, 2017!"

  1. kls  May 18, 2017 at 9:39 pm

    What if you got a query that substituted “they” for “he” and “she” as Brown University now does? An applicant, obviously an advocate of good grammar and good sense, rejected Brown.(See http://www.intellectualtakeout.org/blog/female-applicant-rejects-ivy-league-school-after-receiving-gender-neutral-acceptance-letter?roi=echo3-44087112223-42349141-55734809481e7f0f02d1f7c68864687d&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=8191745&utm_content=newsletter(8191745)&utm_term=newsletter.)

    So would you reject the neutered query?

    • By Angela Hoy - Publisher of WritersWeekly.com  May 19, 2017 at 10:18 am

      We would not reject a query because of that. But, we did reject the following queries, which came in just yesterday:

      Good morning I am to write for writersweekly.com my article os ready topic is makeimg ways to male money from writting. Please replay soon.

      ~~~

      subject line of email:
      I am expert in writing article now i am sending you my article…

      ~~~

      i consider my writing as average and i have been writing fr my college magazine and som journals…

  2. Pingback: Puhleeeeease! Send Us a Good Query! We’ll Pay You, for Cryin’ Out Loud! | WritersWeekly.com

  3. patriciaplake  April 30, 2017 at 7:17 pm

    It’s hard to believe that people actually sent you those (supposed to be) query letters. Is it possible that they don’t know their ability to write is so limited?

  4. pamelaallegretto  April 29, 2017 at 1:36 pm

    I look forward to your weekly publication with so many useful, interesting articles and an occasional good laugh. Thanks!

  5. mctag2015  April 29, 2017 at 9:56 am

    I always enjoy and laugh at your worst query letters and book proposals, but this installment is over the top funny. Better than sex – almost. Shucks, I’m not even “confusionless” about the matter.