Today, I’m going to share another installment of our popular column, World’s Worst Book Proposals and Query Letters. Yes, we can learn from others’ mistakes! Featured below are real quotes from query letters and book proposals submitted to us over the past few weeks.
CLEARLY DIDN’T STUDY THE MARKET!
I wrote over few dozen of articles on various topics including environment (Global Warming, Green Living etc), Yoga, business and other general topics. Please advise, can I submit articles for publcation in Writers Weekly on these topics?
IF YOU’RE SENDING ERROR-LADEN QUERIES LIKE THIS AFTER HOURS, MAYBE YOU NEED ANOTHER KIND OF “SPONSOR?”
Now i have a one time article that i wrote on how a writer can still make it even after they dont get that sponsor,
IS EVERY PUNCTUATION KEY ON HIS KEYBOARD BROKEN?
Hello good morning am an article writer an l went to be writing an article an be submitting to your website thanks
DOES “RESOLVING” HIS QUERY MEAN HE EXPECTS ME TO CORRECT HIS NUMEROUS MISTAKES?
I would wish to state that i desire to publish my article, could you please tell me the procedure for sending the article. Kindly resolve my query as soon as possible.
REVERT BACK? TO WHAT?
Please revert back so that I can be assure of working for you.
THE FOUR WORD QUERY.
Can i writing also?
NEVER, EVER USE THE WORD “LEMME” IN A QUERY…AND LEARN CORRECT CAPITALIZATION.
Please lemme know how i can start.
WE ALL STARTED WRITING AT AGE FIVE, IN KINDERGARTEN. THAT DOES NOT MAKE ONE A “GREAT WRITER.”
I am (name removed) and I am a great writer. I have been writing since age 5.
(He then went on to send us 10 unsolicited email attachments, none of which were for the freelance writing or publishing communities.)
ANOTHER ONE WHO DIDN’T STUDY THE MARKET.
I wish to become a regular contributor of articles for publication in Writers Weekly on diffferent topics. Just to begin with for publication I upload an article on “Global Warming’ and would request you to please arrange for its publication.
IF YOU CAN’T CORRECTLY SPELL THE WORD “WRITER…”
I am a writter who would like to write article for your magazine.I would love to know how to enrol and move forward.Hoping to read from you
THERE ARE CLASSES THAT TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO WRITE. PUBLISHERS OF PAYING MARKETS FOR WRITERS, LIKE WRITERSWEEKLY.COM, DO NOT TEACH WRITERS HOW TO WRITE.
Please teach me how to write.I want to make a living now writing. I look forward to receiving your sincere teaching.
DON’T WE ALL?!?!
I want a reliable paid freelance job with which I’ll live a successful life.
DIDN’T STUDY THE MARKET. WE DON’T PUBLISH POETRY. NEVER HAVE. NEVER WILL.
Hi my name is (removed) and i was wondering if i was to submit a poem , can it be with cursing or no no cursing? my poems are very good and i would love to submit it to you.
WHEN I REJECTED THIS AUTHOR’S BOOK MANUSCRIPT, HE SENT ME A 4-WORD RESPONSE:
Go to hell, A**hole.
(Asterisks inserted by me. He typed the real word.)
THE IMPATIENT, AFTER-HOURS AUTHOR
5:00 p.m. “Here ya go!” (submitted manuscript)
5:02 p.m. “Let me know if you received it.”
5:57 p.m. “Have you received my manuscript?”
5:58 p.m. “Did you receive it?!”
THERE MUST BE AN EPIDEMIC OF BROKEN PUNCTUATION KEYS!
I would like to publish the attached document could that possible through you
I am waiting your response and what should I do to do that
Please i am a good writer and i want to work at the site as a writer to write an articles…i have more amazing ideas to write articles on the site …if you asked me i will write an exited articles that you have already like it …i will be useful for the site
See more entertaining installments of World’s Worst Book Proposals and Query Letters.
About The Author
Angela Hoy is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, and the co-owner of BookLocker.com (one of the original POD publishers that still gets books to market in less than a month), PubPreppers.com (print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish), and Abuzz Press (the publishing co-op that charges no setup fees).
WritersWeekly.com - the free marketing ezine for writers, which features new paying markets and freelance job listings every Wednesday.
BookLocker.com - According to attorney Mark Levine, author of The Fine Print, BookLocker is: "As close to perfection as you're going to find in the world of ebook and POD publishing. The ebook royalties are the highest I've ever seen, and the print royalties are better than average. BookLocker understands what new authors experience, and have put together a package that is the best in the business. You can't go wrong here. Plus, they're selective and won't publish any manuscript just because it's accompanied by a check. Also, the web site is well trafficked. If you can find a POD or epublisher with as much integrity and dedication to selling authors' books, but with lower POD publishing fees, please let me know."
Abuzz Press offers FAST and FREE book publication, but only accepts a small percentage of submissions, and only works with U.S. authors.
PubPreppers.com - "We Prep, You Publish!" Print and ebook design for authors who truly want to self-publish. Offers formatting and design services only, and then provides simple instructions for authors on where to sign up to have the print and ebook editions printed/listed/sold. Cut out the middle man. Keep 100% of what bookstores pay for your book!
Angela's POD Secrets Revealed Series can be found HERE.
Got questions about Print On Demand and Self-publishing? Ask Angela.
Have a POD Book with another publisher? See if BookLocker can give you a better deal. (BookLocker offers "disgruntled author discounts" to those who want to move from other POD services.)
See BookLocker's publishing packages HERE.
ANGELA ON TWITTER
BOOKLOCKER ON FACEBOOK - Provides links to free excerpts!
ANGELA ON TUMBLR
Angela is the creator of the Original 24-Hour Short Story Contest!
Read More Of Angela's Articles HERE